Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “You can’t hide your head in the sand without expecting your ass to get burned.”

— T.J. Klune

52. “I was a speck of sand on an infinite beach, waiting for the tide to come in and wash me away. And here he was, the ocean, the waves, and I drowned in him.”

— T.J. Klune

53. “Just because you don’t experience prejudice in your everyday doesn’t stop it from existing for the rest of us.”

— T.J. Klune

54. “He’d accepted long ago that some people, no matter how good their heart was or how much love they had to give, would always be alone. It was their lot in life, and Linus had figured out, at the age of twenty-seven, that it seemed to be that way for him.”

— T.J. Klune

55. “A travesty of epic proportions,” Tock agreed. “How much you wanna bet they couldn’t even turn the computer on?”

— T.J. Klune

56. “You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you’ve told her you’re in love with a man.”

— T.J. Klune

57. “There’s beauty in the chaos, if you know where to look for it. But you would know about that, wouldn’t you? You see it too.”

— T.J. Klune

58. “My future,” Joe said, “is Ox.” Ah god, that made me ache. “Is that so?” Mom asked. “How do you figure?” “He’s really nice,” Joe said seriously. “And smells good. And he makes me happy. And I want to do nothing more than put my mouth on him.” “Ah.”

— T.J. Klune

59. “Do you have any tattoos?” “No? I mean, almost everyone I know does, but needles scare me, so I don’t have any. I mean, why would you want to sit in a chair and get repeatedly stabbed –.”

— T.J. Klune

60. “I was too busy writing sad ballads to unrequited love in my head and planning a life where my hand would be my boyfriend.”

— T.J. Klune

61. “But if you worry too much about all the things you could be, you’ll miss out on all the things you actually are.”

— T.J. Klune

62. “We went into the Dark Woods and I almost had to get gay fairy married again and now I feel really bad and Ryan got bad-touched by trees and Fairy King Dimitri was cryptic and annoying and apparently has a size kink.”

— T.J. Klune

63. “You got a boner over my little brother.” I.”

— T.J. Klune

64. “There’s too many other people in the world who want nothing more than to kick you when you’re down. Don’t you dare do that job for them.”

— T.J. Klune

65. “I can’t do this anymore, I think, my own voice almost lost in the storm. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t face this on my own. I am drowning in this river and I am haunted in this house my father built and my mind is breaking.”

— T.J. Klune

66. “That’s what is so funny about life. And so scary. It gets in the way and then one day, you open your eyes and a decade has passed. Even more.”

— T.J. Klune

67. “So I said Malakasham and Flora Bora Slam and Abra Wham, because everyone knew that you had to say magic words until magic happened.”

— T.J. Klune

68. “Lady Tina DeSilva. The president of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter. And my most mortal of enemies. “Oh look, everyone. Mervin has arrived and he brought the muffins. If past experiences have any prescience as to what we can expect, then they’re sure to be as dry as his conversational skills.” She was also sixteen years old. And evil.”

— T.J. Klune

69. “To be fair to Lady Tina DeSilva, it was not a battle she could have won. Because Ryan Foxheart was the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed.”

— T.J. Klune

70. “His breath on my face. This was Joe. And I was Ox. His nose touched mine. My hands found his waist. He shuddered under the touch. He rumbled deep in his chest. He said, “Mine.” My cheek scraped against his. The wolf growled, “Mine.” It was a great and terrible thing. So I said, “Yeah. Joe. Yeah. Yes.” And.”

— T.J. Klune

71. “This is why we fight. To have our voices heard and to let everyone know we won’t be taken lightly. They don’t know who they’re messing with. They want a war? Bring it. Because we are going to be fierce and fabulous, and they’ll never see us coming.”

— T.J. Klune

72. “And he was wearing a tie. With rabbits on it. And that did things for Josy.”

— T.J. Klune

73. “Our eyes met like a car crash, colliding and breaking away.”

— T.J. Klune

74. “Wherever you are, that’s where my home is.”

— T.J. Klune

75. “Roses surrounded the raven, thorns wrapping around its talons. Runes and archaic symbols stretched along my forearms: Romanian, Sumerian, Gaelic. An amalgamation of all those who had come before me. Marks of alchemy, of fire and water, of silver and wind. They had been carved into me by my father over a period of years, the raven being the last. All except for the one on my chest above my heart. That’d been mine. My choice. It wasn’t magic, but it’d been for me.”

— T.J. Klune

76. “My fairy drag mother. The woman who had taught me to trust myself and my instincts. Morgan could teach me magic. My parents could teach me morals. Gary and Tiggy could teach me brotherhood. But Mama taught me that while life had sharp edges, it would only cut you if you allowed it to.”

— T.J. Klune

77. “How he closed down like before. How he gave himself over to the wolf. How he didn’t speak for months and months. And yet, the moment he comes home, the moment he sees you again, he finds his voice like he’d never lost it at all.”

— T.J. Klune

78. “I’m sorry. Were you just speaking to me? I apologize most profusely. I was distracted by the size of the sweat stains under your arms. Are you overly warm today? It seems unlikely given the cold, dead heart that surely beats in your chest.”

— T.J. Klune

79. “Mark sitting next to Gordo, both of them avoiding each other’s gazes, but their hands in the grass next to each other, pinkies touching, and there would be a sense of right, of being complete, finally, finally, finally. We.”

— T.J. Klune

80. “He grinned at me again, and the butterflies in my stomach turned into dragons and laid waste to my innards.”

— T.J. Klune

81. “Though sometimes, the songs are meant to sing a pack member home. It’s easy to get lost, Ox, because the world is a wide and scary place. And every now and then, you just have to be reminded of the way home.”

— T.J. Klune

82. “Well. This has been erotic. Enlightening. Gods, this is enlightening. Like eye-opening. Nothing else!”

— T.J. Klune

83. “Things have changed, oh yes. Make no mistake about that. But that’s the funny thing about grief and anger combined; even while buried in newfound happiness, it claws and it whispers. It begs. It howls. It screams. It doesn’t let go. And it demands retribution.”

— T.J. Klune

84. “I couldn’t help but feel grateful that he was taking charge. It was like he knew I was tired of keeping my shoulders squared and my head high. I was tired of being strong and doing what was right. I didn’t want that now. I wanted to be told what to do by someone who loved me, who only cared about making me feel good.”

— T.J. Klune

85. “With the fans, you smile and nod and take selfies and then hope they don’t follow you back to your house and murder you by shoving their underwear down your throat.”

— T.J. Klune

86. “I ground my teeth as I bit back words I knew would hurt. That was the danger with knowing and loving others. You always knew things about them to throw back in their faces.”

— T.J. Klune

87. “So he pressed his forehead against mine and breathed me in and there was that sun, okay? That sun between us, that bond that burned and burned and burned because he’d given it to me. Because he’d chosen me. And I got to choose him back.”

— T.J. Klune

88. “Why do you hide?” Because it was easier. Because I’d done it for as long as I could remember. Because it was safer than being out in the sun and letting people in. It was better to hide and wonder than reveal and know the truth.”

— T.J. Klune

89. “He was hard lines, chiseled flesh, bronzed skin. I was a marshmallow melting in a cup of cocoa.”

— T.J. Klune

90. “Pfft,” I scoffed. “Feelings. I don’t have feelings.” I had so many feelings. None of them were good.”

— T.J. Klune

91. “You went full-on bitchy and made a dramatic exit?” He sounded way too gleeful over my histrionics. “I have taught you well, my young apprentice.”

— T.J. Klune

92. “I’ve always wanted to see if humans make good fertilizer. It seems like they would.” She eyed him up and down hungrily. “All that flesh.”

— T.J. Klune

93. “And he should be found at fault for existing? What choice did he have in the matter?”

— T.J. Klune

94. “And then he laughed. His head rocked back and he laughed and the birds came back and laughed right along with him.”

— T.J. Klune

95. “I look like a gay Mormon missionary,” he lamented in the mirror. “Pardon me, have you heard the word of the Lord? It’s fabulous!”

— T.J. Klune

96. “How do I look?” Gary asked, posing obscenely.”

— T.J. Klune

97. “When I was a kid, I’d made a wish upon the stars. I wished to be someone important. Someone who mattered. And my wish had been granted. Because I was important, though not in the way I expected. I mattered. And not because of what the gods had placed upon me. I mattered because I was loved.”

— T.J. Klune

98. “Are they speaking in code?” Mom asked Dad, trying to be quiet but failing miserably. “I don’t know,” Dad said. “I don’t speak wizard.” “Neither do I. I feel like we’ve failed as parents.” “Nah,” Dad said easily. “Look at him. He’s adorable and knows how to put on his own pants. We did good.”

— T.J. Klune

99. “Because for all his bravado, for all the sass and the sarcasm, he is still the greatest wizard I have ever known. He’s the better part of all of us. And I am humbled to be in his presence.”

— T.J. Klune

100. “If I’d known this was going to be a black-tie affair, I would have put on underwear.”

— T.J. Klune