Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “I squawked attractively. Okay. That was a lie. There is no way to squawk attractively. It was rather unattractive. Arms flailing, legs kicking. It was just awful.”

— T.J. Klune

202. “It should have been obvious. It should have been obvious what they were, but then I wasn’t looking for the incredible buried in the ordinary.”

— T.J. Klune

203. “Change starts with the voices of the few. I will be one of those few because they taught me how. And I know that I’m not alone.”

— T.J. Klune

204. “He gave me a lot, but it would have never been enough.” He looks thoughtful as he gazes back down at me. “It would never have been enough,” he tells me,” because it would never have been you.”

— T.J. Klune

205. “So I said, “Goddammit,” and hugged it out with the both of them, because feelings.”

— T.J. Klune

206. “I am evil incarnate,” the dastardly voice said. “I am the blight upon the skin of this world. And I will bring it to its knees. Prepare for the End of Days! Your time has come, and the rivers will run with the blood of the innocents!” Talia sighed. “He’s such a drama queen.”

— T.J. Klune

207. “You spit your drink over the balcony. It landed on someone. That means you have to marry them. It’s tradition.”

— T.J. Klune

208. “There are moments in your life, moments when chances have to be taken. It’s scary because there is always the possibility of failure. I know that. I know that. Because once upon a time, I took a chance on a man that I had failed before. I was scared. I was terrified. I thought I might lose everything. But I wasn’t living, then. The life I had before wasn’t living. It was getting by. And I will never regret the chances I took.”

— T.J. Klune

209. “This is for life. When the wolf attaches, it is for life.” “I.”

— T.J. Klune

210. “Oh boy,” the unicorn said. “You do that, Robert Smith.” I frowned at him. “Who?” The unicorn shook his head. “This guy I knew. Crazy hair. Sad all the time. Used to sing about it. It got old real fast. Before your time.” Whatever. It was probably stupid old people music, anyway.”

— T.J. Klune

211. “Oh, Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam. You know nothing about dragons, do you? Wow. How the hell are we your destiny? You poor, poor sexy man-child. I feel bad for you. And slightly aroused. But mostly bad. And aroused.”

— T.J. Klune

212. “We are literally the gayest pack that has ever existed,” Rico said to no one in particular. “I see no problem with this.”

— T.J. Klune

213. “Robert Redford is like cheese: he ages well and I want to put him in my mouth.”

— T.J. Klune

214. “He bent his head down, running his nose along my cheek. My neck. Behind my ear, huffing his scent onto me like he hadn’t done since he’d become the Alpha. I loved it. And him. But.”

— T.J. Klune

215. “It’s like something so lovely can’t just be lovely. It also has to be harsh and corroding.”

— T.J. Klune

216. “If the inspirational calendar had been a person, Gus would have punched it in the face.”

— T.J. Klune

217. “The color of your dress really brings out the extraordinary paleness of your skin tone. Are you unwell? Dying, perhaps?”

— T.J. Klune

218. “Life isn’t defined by how long it is. It’s the moments you have while you’re alive.”

— T.J. Klune

219. “Everyone’s different, Wallace. There’s no one way to go about this, no uniform rules in place that can be applied to every single person like you who comes through my doors. That wouldn’t make sense because you’re not like everyone else, just as they’re not you.”

— T.J. Klune

220. “Why’d the chicken cross the road?” I gaped at him. “Because it got scared after it saw me kicking your ass!”

— T.J. Klune

221. “If we worry about the little things all the time, we run the risk of missing the bigger things.”

— T.J. Klune

222. “He put his finger guns away. He should not be allowed to carry weapons of mass humiliation.”

— T.J. Klune

223. “Can you sign something?” Nicole demanded. “This paper? This napkin? My chest? My inner thighs or my wildest dreams? Whatever you want.”

— T.J. Klune

224. “There was the danger with knowing and loving others. You always knew things about them to throw back in their faces.”

— T.J. Klune

225. “Dates usually meant expectations. And expectations led to situations that Josy wasn’t comfortable with. It was easier to just avoid it entirely.”

— T.J. Klune

226. “The first time you share tea, you are a stranger,” Mei said. “The second time you share tea,” Nelson said, “you are an honored guest.” Hugo nodded. “And the third time you share tea, you become family. It’s a Balti quote.”

— T.J. Klune

227. “Someone, my mother had said. Make someone very happy. Not a her. But someone. I.”

— T.J. Klune

228. “Gus screamed, the notecards falling out of his hand as he jumped. “Whoa,” Bernice said. “That certainly was high-pitched for a man.” “Gus is special that way,” Betty said as she scooped up the cards off the counter.”

— T.J. Klune

229. “Most people like hair,” Morgan said. “His is curly and dreamy. Now shut up.”

— T.J. Klune

230. “Another fairy flew up, carrying a spear and wearing a helmet and not much else. I thought about asking why he had armor on his head and not his balls, but I didn’t think that was proper etiquette while being held prisoner by the Dark Woods fairies.”

— T.J. Klune

231. “Eso es la vida, Ox, elecciones. Las elecciones que hacemos dan forma a lo que nos convertiremos.”

— T.J. Klune

232. “Good tea is patience. It’s not about instant gratification, not like the bags with the little strings. Those can be fleeting, here and gone again before you know it. Tea like this makes you appreciate the effort you put into it. The more it steeps, the stronger the taste.”

— T.J. Klune

233. “I know. But I like you even more when I’m sober.” “Boom,” Bernice moaned. “Right in the feels.”

— T.J. Klune

234. “I was going to be the best friend Jeremy ever had, even if it meant death by blue balls.”

— T.J. Klune

235. “Everyone needs someone. Some just need one. Others need many.”

— T.J. Klune

236. “I wish I could find that one person made for me so that way I can show them why I was made for them.”

— T.J. Klune

237. “I’m going to have to work out even more now tomorrow to make up for all the potatoes and bread. Okay. I feel bad. That was a lie. I’m not going to work out at all. That sounds just awful.”

— T.J. Klune

238. “THREE YEARS. One month. Twenty-six days.”

— T.J. Klune

239. “It helps to laugh, even when you don’t feel like laughing. You can’t be sad when you’re laughing. Mostly.”

— T.J. Klune

240. “I’d always heard that your twenties were for partying until all hours of the night, and then your thirties were pajamas at eight. I couldn’t wait until I turned thirty because I was already there in spirit.”

— T.J. Klune

241. “Have you kissed a guy yet?” I blushed. “No.” Before.”

— T.J. Klune

242. “And it’s what’s on the inside that counts.”

— T.J. Klune

243. “Joe sang the loudest of all. He said, you belong to me.”

— T.J. Klune

244. “Bear? What am I?” I sigh. “My brother.” He cocks an eyebrow. “My big brother.” “Damn right. And what do my parents have in abundance?” “A tolerance for someone like you?” He glares at me. I sigh again. “Disposable income.” “And who just made a big speech about family and love and other gay things?” Goddammit. “Me.”

— T.J. Klune

245. “I couldn’t even begin to guess how old he was. Maybe thirty. Or three hundred. When you’re eleven, anyone older is just old.”

— T.J. Klune

246. “Life, Linus Baker knew, came down to what we made from it. It was about the choices, both big and small.”

— T.J. Klune

247. “Ryan shrugged. “You’re adorable. With your angry glitter.” And Gary blushed. His whole face. Never before in the strange and sordid history of our super-best friendship had I ever seen him blush.”

— T.J. Klune

248. “You’re too precious to put into words. I think... it’s like one of Theodore’s buttons. If you asked him why he cared about them so, he would tell you it’s because they exist at all.”

— T.J. Klune

249. “What’re a couple of years in the face of eternity?”

— T.J. Klune

250. “Life is all about chances. It’s all about these little moments that add up to greatness. And there are times when you have to grab greatness by the balls and say, ‘Hey! Greatness! I’ve got your nuts and you can’t do a single godsdamn thing about it!”

— T.J. Klune