Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2025 Update)
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101. “Pfft,” I scoffed. “Feelings. I don’t have feelings.” I had so many feelings. None of them were good.”

— T.J. Klune

102. “I’m sorry. Were you just speaking to me? I apologize most profusely. I was distracted by the size of the sweat stains under your arms. Are you overly warm today? It seems unlikely given the cold, dead heart that surely beats in your chest.”

— T.J. Klune

103. “Mark sitting next to Gordo, both of them avoiding each other’s gazes, but their hands in the grass next to each other, pinkies touching, and there would be a sense of right, of being complete, finally, finally, finally. We.”

— T.J. Klune

104. “You went full-on bitchy and made a dramatic exit?” He sounded way too gleeful over my histrionics. “I have taught you well, my young apprentice.”

— T.J. Klune

105. “Are they speaking in code?” Mom asked Dad, trying to be quiet but failing miserably. “I don’t know,” Dad said. “I don’t speak wizard.” “Neither do I. I feel like we’ve failed as parents.” “Nah,” Dad said easily. “Look at him. He’s adorable and knows how to put on his own pants. We did good.”

— T.J. Klune

106. “If I’d known this was going to be a black-tie affair, I would have put on underwear.”

— T.J. Klune

107. “It’s not how wishing works. If we got everything we ever wished for, we wouldn’t have the capacity to be thankful for all the things we’d already been given. I’ve got so much already. I don’t ever want to lose sight of why it’s important.”

— T.J. Klune

108. “And he should be found at fault for existing? What choice did he have in the matter?”

— T.J. Klune

109. “And then he laughed. His head rocked back and he laughed and the birds came back and laughed right along with him.”

— T.J. Klune

110. “How do I look?” Gary asked, posing obscenely.”

— T.J. Klune

111. “Hate is a waste of time. I’m far too busy to hate anything. I prefer it that way.”

— T.J. Klune

112. “You breathe. You ache. You live. You die inside, sometimes. These little deaths. It’s how you know you’re still living. That hurt, that damnable pain in your chest that never really goes away, is meant to burn to show you that you’re human. After all, you have these little deaths because you live. You ache, but you’re able to breathe. And if you can breathe, then you can take another step. You can push yourself up and you can take another step.”

— T.J. Klune

113. “When I was a kid, I’d made a wish upon the stars. I wished to be someone important. Someone who mattered. And my wish had been granted. Because I was important, though not in the way I expected. I mattered. And not because of what the gods had placed upon me. I mattered because I was loved.”

— T.J. Klune

114. “I’ve always wanted to see if humans make good fertilizer. It seems like they would.” She eyed him up and down hungrily. “All that flesh.”

— T.J. Klune

115. “Life is like this: it aches. It’s biting, and you ache from it. You are strong, because they tell you that you are. You are stronger than anything they’ve ever seen. You have to be. It is what is expected of you.”

— T.J. Klune

116. “I just want to be wherever you are.”

— T.J. Klune

117. “I’m fine.” “Sure you are. But it’s okay not to be. You know that, right?”

— T.J. Klune

118. “You can always judge a person by how they treat animals.”

— T.J. Klune

119. “Because for all his bravado, for all the sass and the sarcasm, he is still the greatest wizard I have ever known. He’s the better part of all of us. And I am humbled to be in his presence.”

— T.J. Klune

120. “There’s nothing like being admonished by a nine-year-old ecoterrorist in training.”

— T.J. Klune

121. “It’s always the ones who are the quietest who often have the greatest things to say.”

— T.J. Klune

122. “Way gay,” I reassured him. “Like, super gay. I fart and rainbows come out.” Oh, crap.”

— T.J. Klune

123. “You don’t have to choose,” he says quietly. “We chose you already.”

— T.J. Klune

124. “Everything is so vast. It’s humbling to remember just how small we really are.”

— T.J. Klune

125. “Gus wondered if normal people carried their grief like he did. He wondered if normal people carried it for the rest of their lives like he thought he would. It didn’t hurt as much as it once had, but sometimes the scar broke apart and it was all he could do to breathe through it.”

— T.J. Klune

126. “He snorted into his radicchio, which I admired because it was a pretty purple. The radicchio was purple, not his snort. Just in case you got confused there. I don’t think it’s possible for people to snort colors. We’re not unicorns, after all.”

— T.J. Klune

127. “It’s better, Benji, to have something burn brightly for a short time than to never have it at all.”

— T.J. Klune

128. “Richard Collins had only taken weeks to destroy the little boy I’d known. He was this shell, okay? This empty shell, and I didn’t know how to fix it. And then, Ox. Oh, and then there was you.” She.”

— T.J. Klune

129. “You’re my brother, you big queen. I will love you no matter what you do, who you do, or where you do it. Do we have a clear understanding?”

— T.J. Klune

130. “You all have kept me sane, but he kept me safe.”

— T.J. Klune

131. “Sam Haversford. You had a crush on him.”

— T.J. Klune

132. “Take a shower. You smell like what sad dreams are made of.”

— T.J. Klune

133. “Life can suck. It can hurt. It has teeth and won’t hesitate to bite you. But if you pick yourself back up every time it knocks you down, it’ll start to hurt less, because you’ll be stronger.”

— T.J. Klune

134. “LOL. Wuteva. “What the hell does that mean?” Gus asked. “Lawl? Lole? I don’t speak youth!”

— T.J. Klune

135. “There are things more important in this world than where I come from. And that’s where I’m going.”

— T.J. Klune

136. “I fell in love with Ryan, you got jealous, then I fell out of love with him because he seemed needy, you tied me up, I got half a chubby because it reminded me of Octavio, and now you have a date with Ryan. Oops. I mean Todd. Gosh, I’m beat. What a long night.”

— T.J. Klune

137. “You sound like a young person. You are probably all hip to the lingo the kids use these days.” “You and I are the same age, Mr. Tiberius.”

— T.J. Klune

138. “Since it wasn’t polite to ask someone if he could keep them in his pocket, he didn’t.”

— T.J. Klune

139. “You’re a talking unicorn,” I said. “Sometimes when you poop, it comes out as rainbows and smells like cookies. There is nothing subtle about you.”

— T.J. Klune

140. “And I’ve been waiting,” Joe said. “For him to look at me like I looked at him. And he finally did. He finally did. And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it stays like that. Because I want him for always.”

— T.J. Klune

141. “Can I kiss you?” It was said so shyly, so hesitantly, that I ached with it. “You want to?” I asked quietly. He nodded once, a little jerk of his head. “I guess that’s all right,” I said. “I’m not your first.” “No.” “And you’re not mine.” “No,” I said, jaw tense. “But you’re the only one that matters. So, it’s like it’s the first. For the both of us.”

— T.J. Klune

142. “I’m not a prize to be won,” he gasped out. “That was so awesome. You go, girl. Get down with your bad self and preach. We don’t need no mens. We are fierce and hear Sam of Wilds roar.” He puffed out his chest and pranced in place in his fairy ring.”

— T.J. Klune

143. “Saying goodbye is rough. I think I told you once that goodbye sounds so stupid and final and blah, blah, blah. But I was younger then. I didn’t know what I know now. Roads can diverge. It’s tough but true. It’ll be okay. In the end. So you’ll go one way. And we’ll go another. Maybe one day we’ll meet again. But even if we don’t, remember this: We have lived. We have loved. We have lost. But we’re standing. For all that we are, we’re still standing.”

— T.J. Klune

144. “There are enough people out there that will be more than willing to knock you down. There’s no reason for you to do it to yourself.”

— T.J. Klune

145. “The cause of death listed by the coroner would be swooning over elderly men who were too precious for this world.”

— T.J. Klune

146. “Do you see the mark on his neck?” I asked her. She nodded tightly. “The raven.” “Do you know what that means?” “Yes.” “Then you know I would do anything for him.” “Would you?” she asked. “Why now? Why after all this time?” “Because if this is the end,” I said as honestly as I could, “he needed to know that I never stopped loving him.”

— T.J. Klune

147. “I want to court your son.” “What does that mean?” she asked. “It means I want to provide for him to prove my worth,” Joe said. “And then, once he agrees to be mine, I’ll mount him and then bite him and everyone will see that we belong to each other.” I.”

— T.J. Klune

148. “We’re going out and getting drunk. I’m tired of being sixteen years old and never having gotten intoxicated. It’s like I’m doing nothing with my life.”

— T.J. Klune

149. “Above it was a sign. It didn’t have any words on it. Instead there was a fluffy teddy bear with an eye patch, a harness, and a leather cap tilted on its head. It had a cigar sticking out of its bared teeth. I had never seen a teddy bear leer before. It was quite eye-opening.”

— T.J. Klune

150. “It’s the hipsters,” David said. “It’s retro. They need a place to convene and argue whether Holden Caulfield was deep or just a spoiled brat.”

— T.J. Klune