Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “He’d accepted long ago that some people, no matter how good their heart was or how much love they had to give, would always be alone.”

— T.J. Klune

302. “Mr. Baker,” Lucy said sweetly. “Can I get you something to drink? Juice, perhaps? Tea?” He leaned forward and dropped his voice. “The blood of a baby born in a cemetery under a full moon?” “Lucy,” Mr. Parnassus warned. Lucy stared at Linus. “Whatever you want, I can give you,” he whispered.”

— T.J. Klune

303. “Life, Linus Baker knew, came down to what we made from it. It was about the choices, both big and small.”

— T.J. Klune

304. “He’s going to murder me,” Josy moaned. “And then he won’t want to be my boyfriend because I’m dead, and no one wants to date a dead guy except for necrophiliacs and teenage girls.”

— T.J. Klune

305. “Gustavo! Stop shaking your fists at that mermaid! You’ll scare away potential customers!”

— T.J. Klune

306. “My insides are rotted and festering like an infected wound leaking pus.”

— T.J. Klune

307. “I’m about to hug the crap out of you,” I warned him. “Like, full-on feelings hug where it goes on for a bit too long and becomes slightly awkward and we both clear our throats and shuffle our feet when it’s over.”

— T.J. Klune

308. “It’s not always about what we can or can’t have, but the work we put into it.”

— T.J. Klune

309. “But sometimes things happen that we don’t expect. Like finding a boy with magic in his skin who is everything.”

— T.J. Klune

310. “It was about then that I realized I was an extraordinarily complex person, because my logic typically made no sense.”

— T.J. Klune

311. “Home is where you feel like yourself,” Ms. Chapelwhite said, and Linus could only agree. “It’s the same for us, isn’t it, children? Home is where we get to be who we are.”

— T.J. Klune

312. “Love is an amazing thing. It can move armies. It can destroy people. It can cause even the mightiest of us to fall to our knees in supplication. It’s terrifying and wonderful, and if you let it, it can be the greatest thing in the world.”

— T.J. Klune

313. “I’m just one person. I’m just me.” “I know. And what a lovely person you are.”

— T.J. Klune

314. “She said that life was more than dirty socks.”

— T.J. Klune

315. “Change comes when people want it enough, Mr. Baker. And I do. I promise you that. It may take some time, but you’ll see. Today has been a swift kick in the seat of my trousers.”

— T.J. Klune

316. “Also, we would accept donations in our name to Planned Parenthood, because the male Republicans who wish to dismantle it should have their testicles hooked up to a car battery. Maybe then they would understand what it feels like to be a woman in America.”

— T.J. Klune

317. “Queens,” Charlie muttered. “Can’t live with them, can’t shoot them because it would get glitter everywhere.”

— T.J. Klune

318. “I listened to the earth. It sings. Most people don’t realize that. You have to listen for it with all your might. Some will never hear it, no matter how hard they try. But I can hear it as well as I can hear you. It sang to me, and I promised it in return that I would care for it if it should give me what I asked for.” She glanced down at the flower.”

— T.J. Klune

319. “I knew what to look for because I listened for it. As long as you listen, you can hear all manner of things you never thought were there to begin with.”

— T.J. Klune

320. “I had to remind myself it was illegal to murder dragons.”

— T.J. Klune

321. “These children are faced with nothing but preconceived notions about who they are. And they grow up to be adults who know only the same. You said it yourself: Lucy wasn’t who you expected him to be, which means you already had decided in your head what he was. How can we fight prejudice if we do nothing to change it? If we allow it to fester, what’s the point?”

— T.J. Klune

322. “I am parched parchment. I have lines. I have holes. Get me wet, and I melt. Light me on fire, and I burn. Take me in hardened hands, and I crumple. I tear. I am but paper. Brittle and thin.”

— T.J. Klune

323. “Opinions are like sphincters in that most people have them, just some are louder than others and can be terribly messy if not handled correctly.”

— T.J. Klune

324. “Why?” he cried. “Why the hell are you doing this? Why do you even care? Is it guilt? Is this your way of getting back at me? Do you really hate me that much? Why the hell are you doing this, Gordo? Now, after all this time, why are you doing this?” “It’s because I’m scared,” I said, voice breaking. “I love you, and I’m so scared I’m going to lose you.”

— T.J. Klune

325. “But he felt lighter somehow. Like he wasn’t paint blending into the wall. He felt real. He felt present. Almost like he could be seen.”

— T.J. Klune

326. “How can we fight prejudice if we do nothing to change it? If we allow it to fester, what’s the point?”

— T.J. Klune

327. “I winked at myself in the mirror and then realized that’s what douchebags did, so I vowed to never do it again. I.”

— T.J. Klune

328. “Everything deserves a chance.”

— T.J. Klune

329. “Stick with something basic that is guaranteed to kill any and all arousal like Fox News.”

— T.J. Klune

330. “Sometimes, it’s the smallest things that can change everything when you least expect it.”

— T.J. Klune

331. “You are finite. Your time is already slipping through your fingers. It creates an urgency within you. To do all that you can. To make things right. I wonder what that must feel like, to have a sense of true motivation.”

— T.J. Klune

332. “Monsters are real. Magic is real. The world is a dark and frightening place and it’s all real.”

— T.J. Klune

333. “Mr. Baker,” Lucy said sweetly. “Can I get you something to drink? Juice, perhaps? Tea?” He leaned forward and dropped his voice. “The blood of a baby born in a cemetery under a full moon?”

— T.J. Klune

334. “I needed to see him. To make sure he was okay. To tell him how sorry I was. That I never wanted to leave him. That I never wanted to be anywhere but by his side. All I ever wanted was to keep him safe. Ever since that first day on the road, when he spoke and moved like a little tornado, all I ever wanted was to make sure nothing ever happened to Joe Bennett. He was coming for me. I.”

— T.J. Klune

335. “Even if you don’t believe it, I’ll believe it enough for both of us.”

— T.J. Klune

336. “Chris pulled a small notepad from a pocket lining the inside of his jacket. He opened it, putting it on the table before him. He frowned, patting his outside pockets, before pulling out a stubby pencil that looked like it’d been gnawed on repeatedly. “Okay,” he said, opening the notepad to a fresh sheet of paper. “The meeting to get Gordo laid can now commence.”

— T.J. Klune

337. “You were his, Ox. Even then. And he was yours.” I.”

— T.J. Klune

338. “I think he is a MILF. Machine I’d Like to Fornicate.”

— T.J. Klune

339. “You don’t want to end up missing the forest for the trees.”

— T.J. Klune

340. “Of candy canes and pine cones, and epic and awesome.”

— T.J. Klune

341. “Because all beings deserve a chance to find out what life could be when they don’t have to serve others.”

— T.J. Klune

342. “I said something I’d been thinking for a long while, “This guy came into work. I thought he was attractive. I check out guys sometimes.” It came out fast because that was the first time I’d said it aloud. It felt like relief. And terror. Carter.”

— T.J. Klune

343. “The things we fear the most are often the things we should fear the least. It’s irrational, but it’s what makes us human. And if we’re able to conquer those fears, then there is nothing we’re not capable of.”

— T.J. Klune

344. “We’re here now because we chose each other. In the end, it’s always been about choice.”

— T.J. Klune

345. “Life is senseless, and on the off chance we find something that does make sense, we hold onto it as tightly as we can.”

— T.J. Klune

346. “Boys can be anything girls can. And girls can be anything boys can. My mom says that sometimes; boys can even be girls.”

— T.J. Klune

347. “Your bubble, Mr. Baker. It’s been popped. Why would you allow it to grow around you again?”

— T.J. Klune

348. “His thoughts were all cerulean.”

— T.J. Klune

349. “Death has a beauty to it. We don’t see it because we don’t want to. And that makes sense. Why would we want to focus on something that takes us away from everything we know? How do we even begin to understand that there’s more than what we see?”

— T.J. Klune

350. “Exactly. To err is to be human, irrational or not. And while some mistakes are bigger than others, if we learn from them, we become better people. Even if we have spiders in our brains.”

— T.J. Klune