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Terry Pratchett Quotes
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Terry Pratchett Quote: “Many feel they are called to the priesthood, but what they really hear is an inner voice saying, ‘It’s indoor work with no heavy lifting, do you want to be a ploughman like your father?’”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “What’s the good of having mastery over cosmic balance and knowing the secrets of fate if you can’t blow something up?”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “They didn’t know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you’ve got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you’re alive, when you really shouldn’t be.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Either all days are holy or none are.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel? To my juvenile eyes, Darwin was proved true every day. It doesn’t take much to make us flip back into monkeys again.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Most horses don’t walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can’t see doesn’t exist.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Just because you’ve got a mind like a hammer doesn’t mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “And never resist a perfect moment.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Its useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The key to winning, as always, was looking as if you had every right, nay, duty to be where you were. It helped if you could also suggest in every line of your body that no one else had any rights to be doing anything, anywhere, whatsoever.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “It’s tough at the top. It’s tough at the bottom. But in between you could use them for horse-shoes.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The people who guard the rainbow don’t like those who get in the way of the sun.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you’ll have a pin.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Gods don’t like people not doing much work. People who aren’t busy all the time might start to think.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “There were no lies here. All fancies fled away. That’s what happened in all deserts. It was just you, and what you believed.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “It’s no wonder most religions are born in the desert, because when men lay beneath that boundless night sky and look up at the infinite expanse of creation they have an uncontrollable urge to put something in the way .”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Winners never talk about glorious victories. Thats because they’re the ones who see what the battle field looks like afterwards. Its only the losers who have glorious victories.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, ‘What happens if I do this?’”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country’s main export. It had rain mines.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “We’re on a mission from Glod.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Just because someone’s a member of an ethnic minority doesn’t mean they’re not a nasty small-minded little jerk.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Whatever you choose, your choice will mean there are two new worlds. And perhaps sometimes, on the edge of sleep, we will see the shadow of the other world. There will be no unhappy memories.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Of course, Ankh-Morpork’s citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The ideal death, I think, is what was the ideal Victorian death, you know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The rising sun managed to peek around the vast column of smoke that forever rose from Ankh-Morpork, City of Cities, illustrating almost up to the edge of space that smoke means progress or, at least, people setting fire to things.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The power of prayer and faith can heal and bring happiness. The real tragedy is that the people that are helped by this don’t realize that this power is really coming from within.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I’m not sure about the turnip.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “It doesn’t matter how you live and die, it’s how the bards wrote it down.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together and hope.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of things. They wonder how the snowplough driver gets to work, or how the makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Granny Weatherwaz was a witch. That was quite acceptable in the Ramtops, and no one had a bad word to say about witches. At least, not if he wanted to wake up in the morning the same shape as he went to bed.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Cake is not the issue here.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The girls were expected to grow up to be somebody’s wife. They were also expected to read and write, those being considered soft indoor jobs that were too fiddly for the boys.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer’s you are an old fart. That’s how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn’t be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man’s got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That’s oppression, that is. If I’m not under the heel of the oppressor, I don’t know who is.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.”
Terry Pratchett Quote: “By the time you’ve reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is at least the beginning of wisdom.”
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