Top 150 Bill Murray Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “I don’t want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.”

— Bill Murray

52. “And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.”

— Bill Murray

53. “There are people who drove me crazy, but they got the job done. And when I see that person again, I nod my head. Respect.”

— Bill Murray

54. “Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It’s so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can’t rule them all, you can’t get an accord from all of them.”

— Bill Murray

55. “It’s a lot of work to read a crummy script.”

— Bill Murray

56. “Eh, it’s not that attractive to have a plan.”

— Bill Murray

57. “Half of the people in this room are more dressed up than on any other day in the year, and the other half are more dressed down.”

— Bill Murray

58. “I really don’t know what’s going to come out of my mouth.”

— Bill Murray

59. “All parties are good.”

— Bill Murray

60. “Morocco is the greatest. I should be getting money from the Moroccans because I’m just telling everyone that it’s a wonderful place to go.”

— Bill Murray

61. “I don’t answer fan mail. I don’t have time for that. It’s like hundreds of thousands of people who think they’re going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don’t have time for those idiots. I’ve got stuff to do.”

— Bill Murray

62. “To people who want to be rich and famous, I’d say, “Get rich first and see if that doesn’t cover it.””

— Bill Murray

63. “It’s hard to be an artist. It’s hard to be anything. It’s hard to be.”

— Bill Murray

64. “My back hurts. My legs ache. I’m only four!”

— Bill Murray

65. “I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.”

— Bill Murray

66. “I realized the more fun I had, the more relaxed I was working, the better I worked.”

— Bill Murray

67. “The Best Way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.”

— Bill Murray

68. “The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe...”

— Bill Murray

69. “Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.”

— Bill Murray

70. “The government can destroy wealth but it cannot create wealth, which is the product of labor and management working with creation.”

— Bill Murray

71. “The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.”

— Bill Murray

72. “My favorite thing about New York is the people, because I think they’re misunderstood. I don’t think people realize how kind New York people are.”

— Bill Murray

73. “The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.”

— Bill Murray

74. “Melancholy is kind of sweet sometimes, I think. It’s not a negative thing. It’s not a mean thing. It’s just something that happens in life, like autumn.”

— Bill Murray

75. “The automatic things you do are basically those things that keep you from doing the better things you need to do.”

— Bill Murray

76. “When I feel like I’m stuck, I do something – not like I’m Mother Teresa or anything, but there’s someone that’s forgotten about in your life, all the time. Someone that could use an ‘Attaboy’ or a ‘How you doin’ out there.”

— Bill Murray

77. “Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.”

— Bill Murray

78. “Whenever I think of the high salaries we are paid as film actors, I think it is for the travel, the time away, and any trouble you get into through being well known. It’s not for the acting, that’s for sure.”

— Bill Murray

79. “Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.”

— Bill Murray

80. “You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.”

— Bill Murray

81. “I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.”

— Bill Murray

82. “In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can’t help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They’re very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you’re there.”

— Bill Murray

83. “Somewhere there’s a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you can.”

— Bill Murray

84. “The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we’re doing.”

— Bill Murray

85. “I’ve got kids and that’s important. It’s funny, you think that there’s an expiration date on them and there just isn’t.”

— Bill Murray

86. “Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.”

— Bill Murray

87. “And when I told my sons I might be in City of Ember, they said, ‘Oh! You’re gonna be the mayor?’ And I hadn’t even read the script yet.”

— Bill Murray

88. “Love can be seeing that here we are and there’s this world here.”

— Bill Murray

89. “I improvise whenever I feel it’s important, or whenever I think that something’s there. It’s nice to have a script that’s so well-written that I don’t have to improvise. I mean, I used to have to re-write whole movies; this is kind of nice.”

— Bill Murray

90. “I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he’s retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you’re retired, people don’t bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it.”

— Bill Murray

91. “I’ve retired a couple of times. It’s great, because you can just say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I’m retired,’”

— Bill Murray

92. “Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for ninety seconds at a time.”

— Bill Murray

93. “We still have to put some cherry syrup on it, and then we can eat it.”

— Bill Murray

94. “Parties are only bad when a fight breaks out, when men fight over women or vice versa. Someone takes a fall, an ambulance comes, and the police arrive. If you can avoid those things, pretty much all behaviour is acceptable.”

— Bill Murray

95. “People usually go through a bad period when they first get successful. You’re new and you’re hot and things go wrong.”

— Bill Murray

96. “I go home and stay there. I wash and scrub up each day, and that’s it. One month I actually grew a moustache, just so I could say that I’d done something.”

— Bill Murray

97. “Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.”

— Bill Murray

98. “I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they’re reading the damn screen. That’s more reading than people used to do.”

— Bill Murray

99. “I’d sort of gone through some sort of spiritual change in the late 70s where I sort of saw there was some other life to live. It changed the way that I worked just having a different presence and a different tension.”

— Bill Murray

100. “I don’t believe that you can give the same performance every take. It’s physically impossible, so why bother? If you don’t do what is happening at that moment, then it’s not real. Then you’re holding something back.”

— Bill Murray