Top 30 Funny Birthday Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Happiness Quotes, Funny Quotes, Positivity Quotes, Feel Good Quotes, Happy Quotes

2. “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Business Quotes, Funny Quotes, Feel Good Quotes, Happy Friday Quotes

3. “42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Fiction Quotes, Silly Quotes, Crazy Quotes

4. “Life is more fun if you play games.”

— Roald Dahl

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Happy Quotes, Fun Quotes, Weekend Quotes

5. “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”

— Groucho Marx

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Time Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Clever Quotes

6. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”

— Linda Grayson

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Sweet Quotes, Friendship Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Clever Quotes

7. “There’s nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.”

— Stephen Chbosky

Also featured in: Happiness Quotes, Funny Quotes, Emotional Quotes, Enjoy Life Quotes, Quotes About Feelings

8. “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

— Joe Rogan

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Perspective Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

9. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.”

— Bill Murray

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Motivational Quotes

10. “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Self-Esteem Quotes, Self-Love Quotes, Feel Good Quotes, Cute Quotes

11. “Don’t take life too seriously.”

— RuPaul

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Personality Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Life Is Short Quotes, Smile Quotes

12. “If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Creative Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

13. “With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”

— Rick Riordan

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life

14. “If it were legal, I'd marry food. ”

— Niall Horan

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Cute Quotes, Funny Yearbook Quotes, Funny Love Quotes

15. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

— Elbert Hubbard

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Live Life Quotes, Life Is Short Quotes, Being Happy Quotes, Joy Quotes

16. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

— A. A. Milne

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Different Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Procrastination Quotes

17. “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”

— Barney Stinson

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Personality Quotes, Happy Quotes, Optimism Quotes, Being Happy Quotes

18. “Oh the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Winning Quotes, Joy Quotes, Quotes About Children

19. “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

— Mark Twain

Also featured in: Blessing Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Witty Quotes, Humor Quotes

20. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

— George Burns

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Quotes About Money, Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

21. “Congratulations! Today is your day!”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Sweet Quotes, Good Morning Quotes, Graduation Quotes, Crazy Quotes

22. “If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.”

— Jim Carrey

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

23. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

— Reba McEntire

Also featured in: Cute Quotes, Silly Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Different Quotes, Humor Quotes

24. “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”

— E.E. Cummings

Also featured in: Cheer Quotes, Cute Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Joy Quotes, Smile Quotes

25. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes

26. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

— Leroy Satchel Paige

Also featured in: Crazy Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Fun Quotes, Birthday Quotes

27. “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me – no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make.”

— Michael Scott

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Volunteer Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Office Quotes

28. “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.”

— Robert Frost

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Carpe Diem Quotes, Quotes About Growing Up

29. “I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

— Fred Allen

Also featured in: Education Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Witty Quotes, College Quotes

30. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Humor Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes

31. “If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”

— Dr. Seuss

Also featured in: Sunday Quotes, Cute Quotes, Enjoy Life Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

32. “Laughter is the best medicine in the world.”

— Milton Berle

Also featured in: Cheer Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Smile Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes

33. “We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.”

— Roald Dahl

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes