Top 25 Funny Movie Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Happiness Quotes, Funny Quotes, Positivity Quotes, Feel Good Quotes, Happy Quotes

2. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

— George Carlin

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Demotivational Quotes

3. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

— Mae West

Also featured in: Courage Quotes, Life Quotes, Happiness Quotes, Empowerment Quotes, Contentment Quotes

4. “Dear Karma, I have a list of people that you missed.”

— Anonymous

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Clever Quotes, Revenge Quotes

5. “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Humor Quotes

6. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Quotes About Writing, Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

7. “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Humor Quotes

8. “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

— Winston Groom

Also featured in: Fiction Quotes, Life Is Short Quotes, Clever Quotes, Witty Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes

9. “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

10. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

— Woody Allen

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

11. “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Also featured in: Humor Quotes, Funny Friday Quotes

12. “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”

— Groucho Marx

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Time Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Clever Quotes

13. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.”

— Bill Murray

Also featured in: Funny Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Birthday Quotes

14. “Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee’s for closers only.”

— David Mamet

Also featured in: Hustle Quotes, Performance Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes, Coffee Quotes

15. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

— George Burns

Also featured in: Silly Quotes, Quotes About Money, Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes

16. “Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Humor Quotes

17. “I’m single because I was born that way.”

— Mae West

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes

18. “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Important Quotes, Ego Quotes

19. “If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.”

— Jim Carrey

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

20. “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

— Douglas Adams

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Different Quotes, Humor Quotes

21. “When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better.”

— Mae West

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Ego Quotes

22. “I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum.”

— Roddy Piper

Also featured in: Boldness Quotes, Silly Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Epic Quotes

23. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”

— Steven Wright

Also featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes

24. “Let’s put a smile on that face!”

— Heath Ledger

Also featured in: Crazy Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes

25. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

— Mae West

Also featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes