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Bob Hope Quotes
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Bob Hope Quote: “When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?”
Bob Hope Quote: “Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”
Bob Hope Quote: “All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I can still chase women, only downhill.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.”
Bob Hope Quote: “President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have this terrific make-up man. But he’s expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Whenever I play with him, I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.”
Bob Hope Quote: “My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he’s lost it. The string came off!”
Bob Hope Quote: “Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.”
Bob Hope Quote: “At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn’t be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?”
Bob Hope Quote: “I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.”
Bob Hope Quote: “And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Television is the box they buried entertainment in.”
Bob Hope Quote: “There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself – the Bank of America.”
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