Top 100

Top 200 Bob Hope Quotes (2023 Update)
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Bob Hope Quote: “Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Today’s ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I can still chase women, only downhill.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.”
Bob Hope Quote: “My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he’s lost it. The string came off!”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I felt I wasn’t getting anywhere in England.”
Bob Hope Quote: “When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”
Bob Hope Quote: “President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.”
Bob Hope Quote: “All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have this terrific make-up man. But he’s expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn’t be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.”
Bob Hope Quote: “In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Whenever I play with him, I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.”
Bob Hope Quote: “At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that.”
Bob Hope Quote: “And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.”
Bob Hope Quote: “In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.”
Bob Hope Quote: “There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.”
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