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Bob Hope Quotes
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Bob Hope Quote: “Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn’t be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?”
Bob Hope Quote: “I can still chase women, only downhill.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.”
Bob Hope Quote: “In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I felt I wasn’t getting anywhere in England.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.”
Bob Hope Quote: “In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.”
Bob Hope Quote: “All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.”
Bob Hope Quote: “And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.”
Bob Hope Quote: “They’ll always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.”
Bob Hope Quote: “At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have too much money invested in sweaters.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Whenever I play with him, I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.”
Bob Hope Quote: “There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.”
Bob Hope Quote: “For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Eisenhower admitted that the budget can’t be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don’t know what to worry about these days – whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have this terrific make-up man. But he’s expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?”
Bob Hope Quote: “Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Television is the box they buried entertainment in.”
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