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Bob Hope Quotes

Bob Hope Quote: “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”
Bob Hope Quote: “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “With today’s movies, if we took out all the bad language, we’d go back to silent films.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers...”
Bob Hope Quote: “Your ignorance cramps my conversation.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!”
Bob Hope Quote: “A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it’s known at my house, Passover.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Don’t people know that they don’t have to heckle the president of the United States? That’s what Congress is for.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t know what people have against government; they haven’t done anything.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?”
Bob Hope Quote: “I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.”
Bob Hope Quote: “When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things – not the great occasions – give off the greatest glow of happiness.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!”
Bob Hope Quote: “She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.”
Bob Hope Quote: “We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Where else but in America could the women’s liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?”
Bob Hope Quote: “I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everyone’s nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that’s just to protect his buns.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Television. That’s where movies go when they die.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.”
Bob Hope Quote: “My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.”
Bob Hope Quote: “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I tell jokes to pay my green fees.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.”
Bob Hope Quote: “When you get over 95, every day is your day.”
Bob Hope Quote: “To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.”
Bob Hope Quote: “As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn’t been touched by the war and blew it to hell.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow – if Moscow has one.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.”
Bob Hope Quote: “We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.”
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