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Bob Hope Quotes
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Bob Hope Quote: “I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.”
Bob Hope Quote: “In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Isn’t it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?”
Bob Hope Quote: “The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.”
Bob Hope Quote: “America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life. She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.”
Bob Hope Quote: “In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I have too much money invested in sweaters.”
Bob Hope Quote: “There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.”
Bob Hope Quote: “He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.”
Bob Hope Quote: “She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.”
Bob Hope Quote: “For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The place was so British, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Eisenhower admitted that the budget can’t be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don’t know what to worry about these days – whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I made so many B pictures I began to get fan mail from hornets... and for me that was an improvement.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.”
Bob Hope Quote: “England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.”
Bob Hope Quote: “He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve been playing golf a long time, although it’s not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If they liked you, they didn’t applaud – they let you live.”
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