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Bob Hope Quotes
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Bob Hope Quote: “On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life. She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Isn’t it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?”
Bob Hope Quote: “I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If they liked you, they didn’t applaud – they let you live.”
Bob Hope Quote: “He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”
Bob Hope Quote: “She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The place was so British, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve been playing golf a long time, although it’s not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.”
Bob Hope Quote: “If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself – the Bank of America.”
Bob Hope Quote: “You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.”
Bob Hope Quote: “England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.”
Bob Hope Quote: “It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.”
Bob Hope Quote: “America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.”
Bob Hope Quote: “He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.”
Bob Hope Quote: “The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.”
Bob Hope Quote: “I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.”
Bob Hope Quote: “That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.”
Bob Hope Quote: “Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.”
Bob Hope Quote: “A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.”
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