Top 100

Top 200 Chris Rock Quotes (2024 Update)
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Chris Rock Quote: “I always say there’s no more little girls, just boys with breasts. Girls act like boys nowadays. Teenage girls, they go after boys. They’re predatory just like boys. My goal is to keep my girls, girls.”
Chris Rock Quote: “We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded?”
Chris Rock Quote: “There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn’t some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.”
Chris Rock Quote: “America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When you have kids, there’s no such thing as quality time. There’s just time. There’s no, ‘Ooh, his graduation’s better than going to the mall.’ It’s all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest – it’s all good.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I love my life, but I don’t think I’m any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.”
Chris Rock Quote: “It’s easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I can’t even put gas in my plane!”
Chris Rock Quote: “After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Yeah, I love being famous. It’s almost like being white, y’know?”
Chris Rock Quote: “My mother always says: “You know better, so you’ll be punished. Your friends don’t know better, so they won’t be punished. They can go snatch chains and they’ll be fine. But if you snatch chains, you’ll end up in jail because you know better.””
Chris Rock Quote: “Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When you’ve been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you’re just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.”
Chris Rock Quote: “That’s a sure sign someone is going crazy – when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!”
Chris Rock Quote: “I’m happy if everybody else is. I’m a big brother, the oldest. If you’re happy and I’m not, I’m cool with that. If I’m happy and you’re not, I’m sad.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven’t been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they’re going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn’t pay for the electricity, he’d pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Who’s judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!”
Chris Rock Quote: “If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn’t been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I’d say, ‘You’re crazy!’”
Chris Rock Quote: “I know what you’re thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn’t tell jokes this is exactly what I’d be doing.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That’s it.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Most parts in comedy, they’re not really written for men. They’re written for, like, these boy-men.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You’re not famous unless people’s mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you’re famous, but you’re just hot, and heat cools off.”
Chris Rock Quote: “They’re working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I’m a rip-off of Eddie Murphy.”
Chris Rock Quote: “My mother is the kind of woman you don’t want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.”
Chris Rock Quote: “The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Black movies don’t have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That’s not a name, that’s just a location.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I’m looking forward to not being tired around my child. My father was tired a lot. I want to play ball with my child without having to grab my shoulder because I’m not physically fit. And I want to really teach my child and become his or her friend.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Pretty girls have problems too.”
Chris Rock Quote: “The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you’re rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I’ll do some stand up, maybe I’ll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I’m an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who’s angrier than Toby Keith? He’s angrier than the average 10 rappers.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I’ve been married for 10 years and, you know, it’s hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.”
Chris Rock Quote: “It’s weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn’t really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can’t beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I had always been – everybody kind of likes comedy. I was very interested in comedy, beyond just liking it. I had friends that took apart radios; I wanted to take apart jokes.”
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Motivational Quotes
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