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Chris Rock Quotes

Chris Rock Quote: “I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself – people like to see that.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.”
Chris Rock Quote: “There’s math, and everything else is debatable!”
Chris Rock Quote: “You can only offend me if you mean something to me.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You can never make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life. They’re always complaining about something.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It’s impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.”
Chris Rock Quote: “A man is only as faithful as his options.”
Chris Rock Quote: “God bless America, and no place else.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I do what I can do when I can do it.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Men do not settle down. Men surrender.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Money is the best lotion in the world.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Women need food, water, and compliments That’s right. And an occasional pair of shoes.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Stop the violence! Can’t we all just get along?”
Chris Rock Quote: “You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.”
Chris Rock Quote: “The government doesn’t want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.”
Chris Rock Quote: “White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says “gun”? Congressional hearing.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can’t ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.”
Chris Rock Quote: “The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If a kid calls his grandma “Mommy” and his mama “Pam”, he’s going to jail!”
Chris Rock Quote: “When you’re white, the sky’s the limit. When you’re black, the limit’s the sky.”
Chris Rock Quote: “See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When I do stand-up, I’m basically doing a one-man show.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you’re at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!”
Chris Rock Quote: “You don’t pay taxes; they take them from your check. That’s not a payment – that’s a ’jack.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Yeah, it’s unfair that you can get judged by something you didn’t do, but it’s also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn’t work for.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I love having somebody there – that companion thing. You know who you’re going to eat with, who you’re going to see a movie with.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit...”
Chris Rock Quote: “I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You got a gun, you don’t have to work out.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they’d let me join the Ku Klux Klan!”
Chris Rock Quote: “I don’t need a president with a bucket list!”
Chris Rock Quote: “If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah’s money he’d jump out the window.”
Chris Rock Quote: “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain’t have six friends in high school, I don’t have six friends now! That’s three on three with a half court.”
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