Top 100

Top 200 Chris Rock Quotes (2024 Update)

Chris Rock Quote: “I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself – people like to see that.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.”
Chris Rock Quote: “There’s math, and everything else is debatable!”
Chris Rock Quote: “You can only offend me if you mean something to me.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You can never make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life. They’re always complaining about something.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It’s impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they’d let me join the Ku Klux Klan!”
Chris Rock Quote: “A man is only as faithful as his options.”
Chris Rock Quote: “God bless America, and no place else.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Women need food, water, and compliments That’s right. And an occasional pair of shoes.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I do what I can do when I can do it.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Men do not settle down. Men surrender.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Money is the best lotion in the world.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Stop the violence! Can’t we all just get along?”
Chris Rock Quote: “The government doesn’t want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can’t ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.”
Chris Rock Quote: “The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.”
Chris Rock Quote: “If a kid calls his grandma “Mommy” and his mama “Pam”, he’s going to jail!”
Chris Rock Quote: “See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You don’t pay taxes; they take them from your check. That’s not a payment – that’s a ’jack.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.”
Chris Rock Quote: “White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says “gun”? Congressional hearing.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Yeah, it’s unfair that you can get judged by something you didn’t do, but it’s also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn’t work for.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Everything’s funny – in the right context and done by the right person.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When you’re white, the sky’s the limit. When you’re black, the limit’s the sky.”
Chris Rock Quote: “When I do stand-up, I’m basically doing a one-man show.”
Chris Rock Quote: “We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know the world’s gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don’t want to go to war !”
Chris Rock Quote: “If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you’re at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!”
Chris Rock Quote: “You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain’t got one.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.”
Chris Rock Quote: “Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit...”
Chris Rock Quote: “Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.”
Chris Rock Quote: “You got a gun, you don’t have to work out.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.”
Chris Rock Quote: “I love having somebody there – that companion thing. You know who you’re going to eat with, who you’re going to see a movie with.”
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