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Christopher Moore Quotes
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Christopher Moore Quote: “I am not inclined to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “You don’t hurry a thinker, and you don’t talk to him when he’s thinking. It’s just inconsiderate.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Sweetheart, wake up; you’ve destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “I’m thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Just because he was pretty didn’t mean he couldn’t be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “You should never pass up an opportunity to be kind. You should never not thank someone. You should never not say something nice when you think it.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “You know, he doesn’t have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin’ time rolls around.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Apologies, one loses perspective after spending a week in a brothel.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “You see, my plan is working. For it is written that ’if the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “In each picture is a whole lifetime imprisoned, a whole lifetime of fears, doubts, hopes and joys.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Sometimes, it turned out, art was what you had to say, not how you said it.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Your soul may be more evolved than you are right now. If a kid fails tenth grade, do you make him repeat grades K through nine?” “No, I guess not.” “No, you just make him start over at the beginning of tenth grade. Well, it’s the same with souls. They only ascend. A person gets a soul when they can carry it to the next level, when they are ready to learn the next lesson.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Amy called the whale punkin.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Sometimes, methinks, a lass just needs to have a proper enraged scream.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “We will bring your guilt as well. You wouldn’t have escaped it anyway. It is a parent’s gift.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “I’ll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “I don’t know,” Charlie said. “Have you gotten a good look at them? I mean, they got the badonkadonk out back and some fine bajoopbadangs up front, know what I’m say in’ dog? Buss a rock wid a playa?” He offered his fist for Minty to buss him a rock, but alas, the mint one left him hangin’.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? Seems like maybe it would make more sense to call in a SWAT team or Special Forces.” “That won’t work, isn’t Special Forces where everyone gets a hug?” Charlie called. “That’s the Special Olympics,” Rivera said over his shoulder.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “So, I guess we’re going to kill this guy, she thought. Then she said, “How does Thursday look for you?”
Christopher Moore Quote: “I’m very insecure, actually, but I have found that if you roll up screaming like a madwoman, hair on fire, guns blazing, no one is going to mention the zit on your forehead.” Which.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “In order to hold off the Forces of Darkness, you will need a number two pencil and a calendar, preferably one without pictures of kitties on it.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Why are you lying on the floor?” “Solidarity. And we ran out of cognac. This is my preferred out of cognac posture.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Love without desire, or conditions, or limits – a pure and radiant glow in the heart that could make me giddy and sad and glorious all at once.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “So I’m like getting some perspective now – like when you’re a kid and you think it sucks that you have to eat hydrogenated peanut butter on your PBJ, and then you see one of those starving commercials kids with flies in their eyes, who don’t even have a sandwich – and you’re all, ‘Well, that sucks.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “If you are going to learn, you need to forget what you know. – Pokey.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “My kingdom for a razor-blade cowcatcher and Cuisinart wheel covers to cut my path through this herd of ignorant peasant meat, she thought. Then: Whoa, I guess I really do need the meds.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “A wall is the defense of a country that values inaction. But a wall imprisons the people of a country as much as it protects them.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Mr. Asher, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” “No, ma’am, I’m going to have to insist that you pass away, this instant. You’re overdue.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Take a moment to catch your breath and revel in your rhetorical mastery and achievement.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “See form, see line, see light, see shadow. See relationships of lines. The model is a collection of these elements, not a body.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “What?” he said. “What? What? What?” “Master, you’re walking on the water,” said Peter. “I just ate,” Joshua said. “You can’t go into the water for an hour after you eat. You could get a cramp. What, none of you guys have mothers?”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Don’t ask me how he got here, or what he really is. I think we’ve all learned over the years that the sooner we accept the simple explanation for the unexplained, the better chance we have of surviving a crisis.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Of course they won’t bloody remember, they’ll be dead.′ Then she called him a name in a dead language that translated, roughly, to ‘poop on a stick,’ but sounded more succinct, like this: ‘Of course they won’t bloody remember, they’ll be dead, Poopstick.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Abby Von Normal – And I’m like, “Don’t change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you’re ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don’t know how much that is in kilos.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “I’m more visual than verbal, really. The painting and so forth.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “From the slope of Haleakala, the Old Broad watched the activity in the channel with a two-hundred-power celestial telescope and a pair of “big eyes” binoculars that looked like stereo bazookas on precision mounts that were anchored into a ton of concrete.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “A little mucus is nothing against the power of the Lord.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “When he was reading he could fly away into the wildest skies of imagination, untethered to the reality that his soul was trapped in a wretched creature cobbled together from meat and bone, like us all.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “To be safe is to be afraid.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Andrew Lloyd Webber’s version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Know what I like about mysteries? They’re mysterious.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “In the ancient world, blue was a breed of darkness.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “True, I am drunk, and small, and damp, but mistake not my moistness for weakness, although there’s an argument to be made for that, as well.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “I like big butts,” Renoir explained to Toulouse-Lautrec.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Every guy can basically be boiled down to what he wants and what he’s afraid of.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “Okay, the kingdom is like a monkey.” Joshua was hoarse and his voice was breaking. “How?” “A Jewish monkey, right?” “Is it like a monkey eating a mustard seed?” I stood up and went to Joshua and put my arm around his shoulder. “Josh, take a break.” I led him down the beach toward the village. He shook his head. “Those are the dumbest sons of bitches on earth.” “They’ve become like little children, as you told them to.” “Stupid little children,” Joshua said.”
Christopher Moore Quote: “That’s it, said Cavuto. You’re too much of a nerd to be gay. I’m contacting the committee. They’ll revoke your rainbow flag and you will not be permitted anywhere near the parade.”
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