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Top 300 Christopher Moore Quotes (2025 Update)
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Christopher Moore Quote: “Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging.”

301. “Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “You tell soldiers what they need to hear to go to war. Bitches need a mission, not a goal.”

302. “You tell soldiers what they need to hear to go to war. Bitches need a mission, not a goal.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “How would I feel, he thought, If I woke up and she was making love to me? Why I believe that I would be pleasantly surprised.”

303. “How would I feel, he thought, If I woke up and she was making love to me? Why I believe that I would be pleasantly surprised.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “About to be hanged is my status quo, not a condition that requires your repair.”

304. “About to be hanged is my status quo, not a condition that requires your repair.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “And that continued for quite a while until the adventurer admitted that it IS an accepted fact among monsters and giants of all stripes that Englishmen are delicious.”

305. “And that continued for quite a while until the adventurer admitted that it IS an accepted fact among monsters and giants of all stripes that Englishmen are delicious.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn’t sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.”

306. “Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn’t sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “The entire city of Las Vegas – plastic opulence, treasure for the taking, vulgar towers, and cocktail waitresses with improbable breasts – is built on the self-delusion of the Beta Male.”

307. “The entire city of Las Vegas – plastic opulence, treasure for the taking, vulgar towers, and cocktail waitresses with improbable breasts – is built on the self-delusion of the Beta Male.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “You have to reward them when they do what you want. I tried punishing them when they misbehaved, but the hammer seemed to crush their spirit.”

308. “You have to reward them when they do what you want. I tried punishing them when they misbehaved, but the hammer seemed to crush their spirit.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “Magic is just science that we don’t know yet.”

309. “Magic is just science that we don’t know yet.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “Judges was named after one of the books of the Bible, as was Sammy – Samuel – as Sammy’s mother found great comfort in her faith during labor, when she swore to God that if Sammy’s dad ever got that thing near her again she would murder him in his sleep.”

310. “Judges was named after one of the books of the Bible, as was Sammy – Samuel – as Sammy’s mother found great comfort in her faith during labor, when she swore to God that if Sammy’s dad ever got that thing near her again she would murder him in his sleep.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “I headed out to find Moo Shoes and inform him that our business venture had croaked my boss, and also that we had a business venture.”

311. “I headed out to find Moo Shoes and inform him that our business venture had croaked my boss, and also that we had a business venture.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “The funeral was held at St. Mary’s Catherdral of San Francisco, which has the distinction of being the only church in the world designed after a washing-machine agitator.”

312. “The funeral was held at St. Mary’s Catherdral of San Francisco, which has the distinction of being the only church in the world designed after a washing-machine agitator.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t move a thing, I didn’t touch a thing, I didn’t change a thing. Believers do everything.”

313. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t move a thing, I didn’t touch a thing, I didn’t change a thing. Believers do everything.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “Faith isn’t an act of intelligence, it’s an act of imagination. Every time you give them a new metaphor, a mustard seed, a field, a garden, a vineyard, it’s like pointing something out to a cat – the cat looks at your finger, not at what you’re pointing at. They don’t need to understand it, they only need to believe, and they do. They imagine the kingdom as they need it to be, they don’t need to grasp it, it’s there already, they can let it be. Imagination, not intellect.”

314. “Faith isn’t an act of intelligence, it’s an act of imagination. Every time you give them a new metaphor, a mustard seed, a field, a garden, a vineyard, it’s like pointing something out to a cat – the cat looks at your finger, not at what you’re pointing at. They don’t need to understand it, they only need to believe, and they do. They imagine the kingdom as they need it to be, they don’t need to grasp it, it’s there already, they can let it be. Imagination, not intellect.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “He crossed against the light, limping slightly under the weight of the subtext.”

315. “He crossed against the light, limping slightly under the weight of the subtext.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “The snail, presumably, to bolster the self-esteem of the turtles: “You think we’re slow? Look at that guy.” To shore up the snail’s morale in the same way, there was a rock. Everyone is happier if they have someone to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the Beta Male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions.”

316. “The snail, presumably, to bolster the self-esteem of the turtles: “You think we’re slow? Look at that guy.” To shore up the snail’s morale in the same way, there was a rock. Everyone is happier if they have someone to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the Beta Male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “There were chopsticks stuck here and there in her hair, as if she were prepared at any minute to deal with an emergency stir-fry.”

317. “There were chopsticks stuck here and there in her hair, as if she were prepared at any minute to deal with an emergency stir-fry.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “There are those who, deprived of physical beauty, develop a sincerity and beauty of spirit that seems to eclipse their appearance. They marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.”

318. “There are those who, deprived of physical beauty, develop a sincerity and beauty of spirit that seems to eclipse their appearance. They marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “She looked like she was being towed through the store by two submarines,” said Simon. “Major hooters,” said Troy Lee. “Major-league hooters.” Tommy said, “Can’t you guys see more in a woman than T and A?” “Nope,” said Troy. “No way,” said Simon.”

319. “She looked like she was being towed through the store by two submarines,” said Simon. “Major hooters,” said Troy Lee. “Major-league hooters.” Tommy said, “Can’t you guys see more in a woman than T and A?” “Nope,” said Troy. “No way,” said Simon.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.”

320. “The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “Whistler,′ Manet called. ‘How’s your mother?”

321. “Whistler,′ Manet called. ‘How’s your mother?”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “There was irony and mirth lurking everywhere, and it was my holy duty as a fool to point it out, nay, chase it out of the corners and poke it until it giggled.”

322. “There was irony and mirth lurking everywhere, and it was my holy duty as a fool to point it out, nay, chase it out of the corners and poke it until it giggled.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a severed limb. It was embarrassing. How could hormones and hydrostatic pressure make you feel like this? Love was very unscientific.”

323. “Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a severed limb. It was embarrassing. How could hormones and hydrostatic pressure make you feel like this? Love was very unscientific.”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “A death that results from your actions is basically killing someone, unless you’re a politician, right?”

324. “A death that results from your actions is basically killing someone, unless you’re a politician, right?”

— Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quote: “I’m just going to try to save the woman I love, and that’s as good as the world to me.”

325. “I’m just going to try to save the woman I love, and that’s as good as the world to me.”

— Christopher Moore

Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes

Eckhart Tolle Quotes

Eckhart Tolle Quotes

Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes

Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes

Confucius Quotes

Confucius Quotes

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LIFE LOVE PEACE

Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes

LIFE WRITING LOVE

Eckhart Tolle Quotes

Eckhart Tolle Quotes

LIFE LOVE SRESS

Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes

Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes

LIFE LOVE MUSIC

Confucius Quotes

Confucius Quotes

EDUCATION LIFE LOVE

William Shakespeare Quotes

William Shakespeare Quotes

LIFE LOVE DESTINY

Oscar Wilde Quotes

Oscar Wilde Quotes

LIFE LOVE FRIENDSHIP

Socrates Quotes

Socrates Quotes

LOVE HAPPINESS DEATH

LIFE LOVE HAPPINESS

Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

LIFE LOVE PHILOSOPHY

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