Top 280 Eoin Colfer Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 4 of 6

151. “They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enlightened.”

— Eoin Colfer

152. “It’ll be messy, but after a day you’ll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.”

— Eoin Colfer

153. “I always thought my intellect would keep me alive, but now I shall be killed by my own baby brother with a rock. The ultimate sibling rivalry.”

— Eoin Colfer

154. “The officer holstered his weapon, drawing out a set of cuffs.”

— Eoin Colfer

155. “We’re off again, I suppose,” said Mulch eventually. “Off on another save-the-world-nic-of-time-seat-of-your-pants adventure?”

— Eoin Colfer

156. “Holly: Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get twenty-four? Artemis: I don’t think Opal pays much attention to laws.”

— Eoin Colfer

157. “Don’t feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.”

— Eoin Colfer

158. “Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.”

— Eoin Colfer

159. “She had never heard Artemis sound so warm, so sincere. Usually emotional displays were difficult for the boy and he stumbled through them awkwardly. This wasn’t like him at all.”

— Eoin Colfer

160. “Swear toads infested every damp patch, cursing like sailors.”

— Eoin Colfer

161. “It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess; they fall in love. He invents a flying machine – along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name their firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher.”

— Eoin Colfer

162. “Artemis put his decaf cappuccino down gently, so as not to rattle the saucer. “We’re at the Nice Library trying to dig up anything on this Minerva person. Perhaps we can find out if she has a villa near here.” “Glad to hear it,” said Holly. “I had visions of you two drinking tea at the beach while I sweat it out here.” Twenty yards from where Artemis was sitting, waves swirled along the beach like emerald paint poured from a bucket. “Tea? At the beach? No time for luxuries, Holly.”

— Eoin Colfer

163. “Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had jumped to reach the button, but that was undignified behavior for a millionaire. And besides, he was certain that Art could hear the thumping from the security desk.”

— Eoin Colfer

164. “Someone old enough to grasp the principles of commerce, yet young enough to believe in magic.”

— Eoin Colfer

165. “When you decide to die, Artemis thought sluggishly, it doesn’t matter how many people want to kill you.”

— Eoin Colfer

166. “But calling up magic when there were arrows flying and chunks of the countryside disappearing was about as easy as going to the toilet on command with a dozen people watching. Who all hated you.”

— Eoin Colfer

167. “She supposed this irritating bickering was how the males of every species showed affection.”

— Eoin Colfer

168. “Together we will be unstoppable. Your friend and benefactor, Artemis Fowl II.”

— Eoin Colfer

169. “Root stood on the doorstep, palms up, the universal gesture for Look, I’m not carrying a big murderous weapon.”

— Eoin Colfer

170. “Lawyers. Everyone should have one.”

— Eoin Colfer

171. “Artemis took a chance on some calculated sarcasm. “Really, Spiro. Did you think I would attempt a break-in? Perhaps you thought I would fly in here with my fairy friends and magic your box away?” Spiro laughed. “You can bring all the fairy friends you like, Arty-boy. Short of a miracle that Cube is staying right where it is.”

— Eoin Colfer

172. “Holly’s mouth was a tight line as she shook her head. “Navy rules, Butler. You’re on my boat, you follow my orders.” “As I remember, I brought the boat.” “Yes, thanks for bringing my boat.”

— Eoin Colfer

173. “I am exactly the right age for this project,” said Minerva. “I’m young enough to believe in magic and old enough to understand how it works.”

— Eoin Colfer

174. “Holly. In the name of all the gods, stop shooting energy into all-energy beings. Just how stupid are you? The bots quivered and meshed, growing larger and more aggressive.”

— Eoin Colfer

175. “She ran a quick search on Wicca-pedia and came across a brief summary:.”

— Eoin Colfer

176. “Angeline, distraught over her son’s obsession and afraid of the effects of the past year on Artemis’s mind, signed her thirteen-year-old up for treatment with the school counselor. You have to feel sorry for him. The counselor, that is.”

— Eoin Colfer

177. “When life gives you a lemon, thought Teddy, slipping his fingers neatly into the weapon’s finger holes, you knock the lemon senseless.”

— Eoin Colfer

178. “There was another thought, more persistent than the rest. It crashed into his mind like a tsunami: I have friends. Thought Artemis Fowl the Second.”

— Eoin Colfer

179. “Butler had an excuse for not being in Iceland that would hold up in any court of law and possibly even on a note for teacher.”

— Eoin Colfer

180. “A genius he may be, but he is still a habitual meddler and magnet for trouble.” The bodyguard winked at Artemis. “No offense, young sir, but you could turn a Sunday picnic into an international incident.”

— Eoin Colfer

181. “Dear Internet: One Billion Hysterical Opinions Do Not Carry the Weight of a Single Fact.”

— Eoin Colfer

182. “Artemis smiled grimly. And for a moment, he felt like his old, conniving self, before Holly and his mother had introduced him to their pesky moral codes.”

— Eoin Colfer

183. “It’s a strange feeling not to know who you are exactly.”

— Eoin Colfer

184. “There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can’t alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony.”

— Eoin Colfer

185. “A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.”

— Eoin Colfer

186. “That’s the last order I’ll ever give you Captain. Don’t you dare ignore it.”

— Eoin Colfer

187. “Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, ‘Die alien scum’ he was saying feverishly...”

— Eoin Colfer

188. “Sig Sauer. Nine millimetres. Thirteen in the magazine. Big bullets. One of these hits you and it could blow your head off; something even the magic can’t fix. Other than that you should be all right, presuming you remembered to wear the regulation above-ground micro-fibre jumpsuit recently patented by me. Then again, being a Recon jock, you probably didn’t.”

— Eoin Colfer

189. “Whatever their circumstances, people still had to eat, live, and love.”

— Eoin Colfer

190. “I often meet frustrated young writers who say they’ve only got so far and just can’t finish a book. Even if you don’t happen to use what you’ve worked on that day, it has taught you something and you’ll be amazed when you might come back to it and use it again.”

— Eoin Colfer

191. “I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?”

— Eoin Colfer

192. “If Elmore Leonard met Jim Thompson down a dark alley at midnight they might emerge a week later with thick beards, bloodshot eyes and the manuscript for THE BIG O.”

— Eoin Colfer

193. “Ambition had a price, and that price was friendship.”

— Eoin Colfer

194. “He knew that Dr. Argon would advise him against bottling up his emotions as it would lead to psychological scarring in the long term.”

— Eoin Colfer

195. “I can’t imagine what they’re planning. But I can tell you two things. We won’t like it, and it won’t be legal.”

— Eoin Colfer

196. “HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? FOALY: No. I’m suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.”

— Eoin Colfer

197. “Hey,” snapped Holly. “This is not the time to blame Artemis.” “Thank you,” said Artemis. “Finally.” “There will be plenty of time to blame Artemis later, when this is resolved.”

— Eoin Colfer

198. “When you’ve come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn’t hold many surprises.”

— Eoin Colfer

199. “Cosmo sank into a near trancelike state. The events of the past few days bounced around his head like blobs of oil in a lava lamp. Who was he now? Cosmo Hill fugitive no-sponsor, or Cosmo Hill Supernaturalist? Who was Cosmo Hill anyhow? A product of Clarissa Frayne, with no personality to speak of. Fourteen years old and he had never kissed a girl.”

— Eoin Colfer

200. “The amorphobots had entered the ambulance through the air lock and morphed into one in the ambulance’s only cell. Actually, the bot holding Mulch Diggums was excluded from the morph, as the other bots could not identify the chemical spectrum of the gas bubbles inside the dwarf’s body, and did not frankly like the look of Mulch anyway, and so, though it tried to meld with the others, the bot was repulsed and wobbled lonely in the corner.”

— Eoin Colfer