Top 500 Ilona Andrews Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 4 of 10

151. “They’re fanatics. It’s like expecting humanity from a falling rock. It’s not going to have a fit of compassion and not crack your skull open.”

— Ilona Andrews

152. “I like home. It’s warm and there are books.”

— Ilona Andrews

153. “In my experience, the ex-military guys came in two types. The first grew long hair, sprouted beards, and indulged in all the things they hadn’t been able do while they’d been in the armed forces. The second did their best to pretend they never got out.”

— Ilona Andrews

154. “It’s not funny. I’ve got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard.”

— Ilona Andrews

155. “When you live in chaos as a child, you strive to impose order over the world. Unfortunately, the world refuses to comply, so you have to settle for trying to control yourself, your habitat, and your friends.”

— Ilona Andrews

156. “I could have fixed almost everything else, but death defeated me every time.”

— Ilona Andrews

157. “Saved by the Sith.”

— Ilona Andrews

158. “It’s never a good thing when the black volhv says “Uh-oh” and then runs for his life.”

— Ilona Andrews

159. “When in doubt and in need of information, find a snitch and squeeze him. That was one of the very few investigative techniques I was aware of. As a matter of fact, that and the “annoy principals involved until the guilty party decides to kill you” pretty much summed it up for me. Move over, Sherlock.”

— Ilona Andrews

160. “Just to make sure the odd humanoid aberration doesn’t get away, always pin it through the nuts.”

— Ilona Andrews

161. “Just saying, you have to pull your own weight. A hot body and flirting will only get you so far.”

— Ilona Andrews

162. “My ego doesn’t need soothing. I don’t want him soothing anything of mine, including you.”

— Ilona Andrews

163. “You should’ve let me twist his head off,” Mahon said. “You can’t let people insult your wife, Curran. One day you’ll have to choose diplomacy or your spouse. I’m telling you now, it’s got to be your wife. Diplomacy doesn’t care if you live or die. Your wife does.”

— Ilona Andrews

164. “It fires .50 cal at twice the speed of sound. It will hit him before he ever hears the shot.” My mother crossed her arms. “I’d like to see him bounce that off his chest.”

— Ilona Andrews

165. “Grandma pointed her fork at me. “Just watch. Fate will throw you two together. One day you’ll just run right into him and boom! True love.”

— Ilona Andrews

166. “The lion opened his mouth, showing his big teeth. Yes, yes, you’re bad. We know, Your Majesty.”

— Ilona Andrews

167. “I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea’s neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend’s windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.”

— Ilona Andrews

168. “Society frowned on killing your best friend. In this case, it would just have to make an exception.”

— Ilona Andrews

169. “Shapeshifter parenting motto – if your kid slit somebody’s throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.”

— Ilona Andrews

170. “The sight of me puffing and straining apparently amused him to no end.”

— Ilona Andrews

171. “I wouldn’t want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me either.”

— Ilona Andrews

172. “I waited. The moment you start speaking, you become less scary, and I had no intention of being less scary.”

— Ilona Andrews

173. “I’m with you because you’re smart and beautiful, and you are not like anyone I know. No matter how hard things are, you throw yourself into them. During Midnight Games you walked into a cage with trained killers not knowing if your curses would work, because you knew other people were counting on you. That’s what you do. You step up.”

— Ilona Andrews

174. “You taught me the meaning of loneliness, because when I don’t see you, I feel alone. You.”

— Ilona Andrews

175. “Julie was an issue riding on an issue and using a third issue for a whip.”

— Ilona Andrews

176. “Grandma Frida’s skinny legs in jeans stuck out from under the vehicle. To the right, Arabella lounged on.”

— Ilona Andrews

177. “Every time I think you’ve reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe – ever expanding.”

— Ilona Andrews

178. “It’s awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?”

— Ilona Andrews

179. “Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.”

— Ilona Andrews

180. “Arabella ran out of blackboard space, crouched, and began dividing on the floor. “This is what we get for teaching them Common Core,” one of the arbiters said. “There is nothing wrong with Common Core,” someone else said. Arabella.”

— Ilona Andrews

181. “Butterflies were small and light, and very magic sensitive. For some reason I made them feel safe and they gravitated to me like iron shavings to a magnet. They ruined my ferocious badass image, but you’d have to be a complete beast to swat butterflies.”

— Ilona Andrews

182. “Does ice float?”

— Ilona Andrews

183. “He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?”

— Ilona Andrews

184. “I got my boots out of the closet, put them on, and buckled a belt with a knife on it around my waist under my robe. Baha-char was the place where you went to find things. Sometimes things found you instead and tried to take your money.”

— Ilona Andrews

185. “Curran looked back at me. “Why is it you always attract creeps?” “You tell me.” Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”

— Ilona Andrews

186. “Some people got vicious Dobermans. I got a shaved attack poodle in a black sweater. His tough, spawn-of-hell image had taken a fatal blow, but at least he would be warm.”

— Ilona Andrews

187. “Follow me,” Linus ordered. “And cheer up. We’re about to embark on a killing spree accompanied by massive property damage. Try to have fun.”

— Ilona Andrews

188. “Rene, you want us to find you-don’t-know-who and to retrieve his you-don’t-know-what for you-won’t-tell-me-whom?”

— Ilona Andrews

189. “In death, they all looked the same. This morning they spoke, they breathed, they kissed their loved ones good-bye. And now they lay dead. Gone forever.”

— Ilona Andrews

190. “On your best day, you’re only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.”

— Ilona Andrews

191. “I want to punish them. I want that punishment to be so hard, so vicious that the next who takes their place wets himself at the mere thought of trying to fight me.”

— Ilona Andrews

192. “I gave him a smile. I was aiming for sweet, but he turned a shade paler and scooted a bit farther from me. Note to self: work more on sweet and less on psycho-killer.”

— Ilona Andrews

193. “Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don’t have to do it, but it’s here if you choose to come back to it.”

— Ilona Andrews

194. “It’s not an abomination. It’s a bunnycat.”

— Ilona Andrews

195. “Having a fling with you doesn’t appeal to me. You’re handsome, but you’re too inexperienced and too arrogant to be good in bed. Having ridden many horses doesn’t make you a good rider; it just proves that you can’t recognize a good one or don’t know how to keep her. You’re too young for me, and in ten years, when you improve, I will be too old for you. So let’s not speak of this again.” A thin, high-pitched sound came from the wall. Miko was snickering.”

— Ilona Andrews

196. “Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I didn’t expect that. “That’s it? That’s your witty comeback?” “Yep.” Eloquence ‘R’ Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic – safer that way.”

— Ilona Andrews

197. “You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.”

— Ilona Andrews

198. “If you can’t make it go away, wait it out.”

— Ilona Andrews

199. “Whatever storm was brewing, I’d find it and fight it. If it was the price of being with Curran, then I would pay it. He was worth it.”

— Ilona Andrews

200. “Nice plan. Take the gullible outsiders, walk them around for a bit, then feed them to the giant tortoise.”

— Ilona Andrews