Top 500 Ilona Andrews Quotes (2026 Update)
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251. “Somewhere in that database my name sat in its own little niche, the name of a reject, undisciplined and worthless. Just the way I liked it.”

— Ilona Andrews

252. “Who the hell would attack the Steel Horse anyway? What was the thinking behind that? “Here is a bar full of psychotic killers who grow giant claws and people who pilot the undead for a living. I think I’ll go wreck the place.”

— Ilona Andrews

253. “A roar rumbled in Curran’s throat. Barabas sat back a bit. I shuddered. “So scary. Still can’t tell you.” He opened his mouth. “Lorelei,” I said. Curran swore. Barabas.”

— Ilona Andrews

254. “Six vampires came scuttling over the roof, in assorted colors of sunblock, like someone spilled a bag of Skittles. Taste the undead rainbow.”

— Ilona Andrews

255. “There were times in life when nothing short of spitting fire would do.”

— Ilona Andrews

256. “I’m a bastard but even I don’t kill my own people, unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

— Ilona Andrews

257. “Kate, you’re a pushover,” the clerk said. I leaned over the counter and offered him my best deranged smile. “Wanna push and see if I fall over?”

— Ilona Andrews

258. “I once took a city with five men and a lame goat.”

— Ilona Andrews

259. “May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you’ll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.”

— Ilona Andrews

260. “Derek’s lips stretched into a smile on their own, driven not by humor but by the instinctual need to bare his teeth as the wild inside glared through his eyes.”

— Ilona Andrews

261. “Elegance is never ostentatious, and there is nothing more bourgeois than covering everything in gold. It screams that one has too much money and too little taste, and it infuriates peasants.”

— Ilona Andrews

262. “There were so many things I wanted to say at once if the words would just get out of each other’s way. “Fine.”

— Ilona Andrews

263. “The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make me warm and fuzzy.”

— Ilona Andrews

264. “The Kodiak of Atlanta was brave and powerful and the closest thing to a father Curran had. He also had an uncanny ability to alienate everyone in the room and then have to defend himself when a brawl broke out. He took self-defense seriously. Sometimes there was no building left standing when he was done.”

— Ilona Andrews

265. “Andrea once told me that I had a problem processing emotional pain. I couldn’t handle it, so I replaced it with physical pain instead: either I inflicted it on others or I suffered through it myself. Well, I had physical pain aplenty. If she was right, I should be floating on a cloud of bliss right about now.”

— Ilona Andrews

266. “Those books made it crystal clear that giving honey to your baby before he was a year old made you a terrible mother. The moment a spoon of honey would touch his lips, the words “Awful Mother” would appear on your forehead, forever branding you as a parenting failure.”

— Ilona Andrews

267. “I told him I was about to do something idiotic and dangerous, and he told me to go ahead and let him know if he could help in any way.” “I don’t understand your relationship.”

— Ilona Andrews

268. “At first he didn’t want to tell us, and then Jim asked him if he was left- or right-handed. The bodyguard asked why and Jim told him that he would break the other arm first, because he wasn’t a complete bastard.”

— Ilona Andrews

269. “Call her out,” Arabella said. “Tell her Rogan is yours!” Grandma Frida pumped her fist. “Don’t let her take your man!” Leon declared. We all looked at him. “I was feeling left out,” he said.”

— Ilona Andrews

270. “It’s funny how you use logic in an argument and think it will persuade me.”

— Ilona Andrews

271. “His Furriness, the Long-term Planner.”

— Ilona Andrews

272. “The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel’s deformed mutant brother.”

— Ilona Andrews

273. “The dusk had arrived on the wings of a night moth, silent and soft. The sky above me darkened to a deep, beautiful purple. Stars glowed high above, and below them, as if inspired by their light, tiny fireflies awoke and crawled from their shelter in the leaves.”

— Ilona Andrews

274. “I’d believed him. He was supposed to be different, to be more. He’d made me hope for things I didn’t think I’d ever get. When hope broke, it hurt. Mine was a very big, very desperate hope, and it hurt like a sonovabitch.”

— Ilona Andrews

275. “Barbarism usually produces swift death. Cruelty is the mark of a civilized human.”

— Ilona Andrews

276. “I dreamed that Curran and I killed a dinosaur and then had sex in the dirt.”

— Ilona Andrews

277. “Curran got rid of Ascanio and saddled me with not one, but two bodyguards. God help anyone who dared to look at me funny. They would rip him to pieces, just to outdo each other.”

— Ilona Andrews

278. “You will. You’ll fall asleep fast and sleep soundly until morning, and then you’ll get up and have breakfast with your family because I’ll be prowling in your house tonight. And if anyone tries to interrupt your sleep and end your life, you have my word that they’ll sleep forever.” That.”

— Ilona Andrews

279. “A girl half my age swept by and slammed two giant tankard filled with beer on the table. Ragnvald held his up. I smashed my tankard against his. Beer splashed. We raised the tankard and pretended to take much bigger gulps than we did.”

— Ilona Andrews

280. “The Scourge of Mexico and the most terrifying Prime in Houston unhinged his manly jaws and said the only thing he could, “Yes, Mother.”

— Ilona Andrews

281. “Tony looked at me with the long-suffering patience of an adult child who knew an educational lecture was coming and there was no way to escape. “One.”

— Ilona Andrews

282. “I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.”

— Ilona Andrews

283. “This is blasphemy!” Odalon declared in the same way Gerard Butler had once roared “This is Sparta.” Sadly, Odalon had nobody to kick into a bottomless hole for emphasis, so he settled for looking extremely put out.”

— Ilona Andrews

284. “Clothes don’t have magic powers, Derek. They don’t mystically protect you from three-inch claws, rapists, or murderers. If someone decides to hurt you, they will do so whether or not you have a thin layer of denim over your skin.”

— Ilona Andrews

285. “Ghastek stood by the floor-to-ceiling window, sipping coffee from a white mug that read, Graveyard Shift: We do it in the dark.”

— Ilona Andrews

286. “Anger – a better alternative to caffeine.”

— Ilona Andrews

287. “Curran is the Beast Lord. Tremble.”

— Ilona Andrews

288. “I wanted you to stop.” “I was encouraged by you breathlessly moaning my name.” I spun on my foot. “I wasn’t moaning your name. I was shrieking in alarm.” “That was the sexiest throaty shrieking I’ve ever heard.” “You need to get out more.”

— Ilona Andrews

289. “When some supernatural filth tries to carry off the children, call Roman so he can wade through blood and sewage to rescue them, but when it’s something nice like a wedding or a naming, oh no, we can’t have Chernobog’s volhv involved. It’s bad luck. Get Nikolai. When he finds out who I’m going to marry, he’ll have an aneurysm. His head will explode. It’s good that he’s a doctor, maybe he can treat himself.”

— Ilona Andrews

290. “I can’t share, Nevada. I won’t.”

— Ilona Andrews

291. “When I returned, instead of beating swift retreat she suggested we should have fun together. I dunked her a couple of times. Unfortunately, I was pointing a gun at hotel security at the time, and the sheriff’s deputies showed up. Raphael ate it up. I was finally acting like a mated shapeshifter : irrationnal, possessive and head over heels in love.”

— Ilona Andrews

292. “He took the risk and his people had died. He blamed himself. It didn’t reflect in his face, but I saw it in his eyes for a brief moment, before they went back to their icy blue. The last time we talked, I was almost completely convinced that he was a sociopath. He seemed invulnerable, as if nothing could bother him. This did.”

— Ilona Andrews

293. “Lyc-V is a jealous virus. It exterminates all other invaders with extreme prejudice.”

— Ilona Andrews

294. “Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.”

— Ilona Andrews

295. “I wasn’t moaning your name. I was shrieking in alarm.” “That was the sexiest throaty shrieking I’ve ever heard.”

— Ilona Andrews

296. “He let her go almost immediately, but he’d packed so much into that one fierce hug: want, need, worry, reassurance... He’d protect her with his life. Strangely, it made her indignant. Nobody should have to be in the position of having another person give up their life for them. She didn’t want the weight of Declan’s death.”

— Ilona Andrews

297. “I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn’t melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena’s chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.”

— Ilona Andrews

298. “He would soak in that silver glow until it shone from his eyes and sing a long song about hunting and running through the dark wood in the middle of the night.”

— Ilona Andrews

299. “I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.”

— Ilona Andrews

300. “Caldenia smiled. “A Quillonian chef, my dear you shouldn’t have. Well you should have months ago, but one mustn’t be petty. Finally. I shall be dining in a style to which I am suited. Fantastic. Does he have moral scruples I am reasonably sure this summit will result in at least one murder, and I have never tasted an otrokar.”

— Ilona Andrews