Top 500 Ilona Andrews Quotes (2026 Update)
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251. “Just reflecting on the fact that when the Universe punches you in the teeth, it never just lets you fall down. It kicks you in the ribs a couple of times and dumps mud on your head.”

— Ilona Andrews

252. “Did you send an escort with my family?” “Yes. They’re a target.” “How did you know they would be leaving?” “My people saw them load up, called me, and I told them to follow.” Duh. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome. I plan to hold them hostage until you sleep with me.” I stumbled. He turned and gave me a brilliant, impossibly handsome smile. “Just kidding.” Damn it.”

— Ilona Andrews

253. “There were times in life when nothing short of spitting fire would do.”

— Ilona Andrews

254. “When some supernatural filth tries to carry off the children, call Roman so he can wade through blood and sewage to rescue them, but when it’s something nice like a wedding or a naming, oh no, we can’t have Chernobog’s volhv involved. It’s bad luck. Get Nikolai. When he finds out who I’m going to marry, he’ll have an aneurysm. His head will explode. It’s good that he’s a doctor, maybe he can treat himself.”

— Ilona Andrews

255. “Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”

— Ilona Andrews

256. “He killed a man,” Mom said. “He was framed,” Grandma Frida said. “You don’t even know the story,” Mom said. Grandma shrugged. “Framed. A man that pretty can’t be a murderer.” Mother stared at her. “Penelope, I’m seventy-two years old. You let me enjoy my fantasy.” “Go Grandma.” Arabella pumped her fist in the air.”

— Ilona Andrews

257. “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

— Ilona Andrews

258. “Elegance is never ostentatious, and there is nothing more bourgeois than covering everything in gold. It screams that one has too much money and too little taste, and it infuriates peasants.”

— Ilona Andrews

259. “There were so many things I wanted to say at once if the words would just get out of each other’s way. “Fine.”

— Ilona Andrews

260. “I dreamed that Curran and I killed a dinosaur and then had sex in the dirt.”

— Ilona Andrews

261. “He took the risk and his people had died. He blamed himself. It didn’t reflect in his face, but I saw it in his eyes for a brief moment, before they went back to their icy blue. The last time we talked, I was almost completely convinced that he was a sociopath. He seemed invulnerable, as if nothing could bother him. This did.”

— Ilona Andrews

262. “The Kodiak of Atlanta was brave and powerful and the closest thing to a father Curran had. He also had an uncanny ability to alienate everyone in the room and then have to defend himself when a brawl broke out. He took self-defense seriously. Sometimes there was no building left standing when he was done.”

— Ilona Andrews

263. “Andrea once told me that I had a problem processing emotional pain. I couldn’t handle it, so I replaced it with physical pain instead: either I inflicted it on others or I suffered through it myself. Well, I had physical pain aplenty. If she was right, I should be floating on a cloud of bliss right about now.”

— Ilona Andrews

264. “It was one thing to be attracted to bad boys, something I usually didn’t suffer from. It was another to be attracted to bad men. Mad Rogan was a really bad, bad man.”

— Ilona Andrews

265. “He let her go almost immediately, but he’d packed so much into that one fierce hug: want, need, worry, reassurance... He’d protect her with his life. Strangely, it made her indignant. Nobody should have to be in the position of having another person give up their life for them. She didn’t want the weight of Declan’s death.”

— Ilona Andrews

266. “She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops.”

— Ilona Andrews

267. “Those books made it crystal clear that giving honey to your baby before he was a year old made you a terrible mother. The moment a spoon of honey would touch his lips, the words “Awful Mother” would appear on your forehead, forever branding you as a parenting failure.”

— Ilona Andrews

268. “Who the hell would attack the Steel Horse anyway? What was the thinking behind that? “Here is a bar full of psychotic killers who grow giant claws and people who pilot the undead for a living. I think I’ll go wreck the place.”

— Ilona Andrews

269. “The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel’s deformed mutant brother.”

— Ilona Andrews

270. “At first he didn’t want to tell us, and then Jim asked him if he was left- or right-handed. The bodyguard asked why and Jim told him that he would break the other arm first, because he wasn’t a complete bastard.”

— Ilona Andrews

271. “His Furriness, the Long-term Planner.”

— Ilona Andrews

272. “A girl half my age swept by and slammed two giant tankard filled with beer on the table. Ragnvald held his up. I smashed my tankard against his. Beer splashed. We raised the tankard and pretended to take much bigger gulps than we did.”

— Ilona Andrews

273. “Where the hell would I go without you, Kate? No matter where I went, you would be there in my head. I would miss you every moment of my life.”

— Ilona Andrews

274. “The dusk had arrived on the wings of a night moth, silent and soft. The sky above me darkened to a deep, beautiful purple. Stars glowed high above, and below them, as if inspired by their light, tiny fireflies awoke and crawled from their shelter in the leaves.”

— Ilona Andrews

275. “I’d believed him. He was supposed to be different, to be more. He’d made me hope for things I didn’t think I’d ever get. When hope broke, it hurt. Mine was a very big, very desperate hope, and it hurt like a sonovabitch.”

— Ilona Andrews

276. “Barbarism usually produces swift death. Cruelty is the mark of a civilized human.”

— Ilona Andrews

277. “May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you’ll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.”

— Ilona Andrews

278. “Curran got rid of Ascanio and saddled me with not one, but two bodyguards. God help anyone who dared to look at me funny. They would rip him to pieces, just to outdo each other.”

— Ilona Andrews

279. “You have to let your people take pride in a job well accomplished and recognize them for it. You will get better results.”

— Ilona Andrews

280. “There was tartle, a Scottish word for the panicked pause you experience when you have to introduce someone, but you don’t remember their name. There was backpafeifengesicht, a German term for a face you’d love to punch. There was gigil, a Filipino word for the urge to squeeze an item because it is unbearably cute.”

— Ilona Andrews

281. “I’m a bastard but even I don’t kill my own people, unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

— Ilona Andrews

282. “I once took a city with five men and a lame goat.”

— Ilona Andrews

283. “A roar rumbled in Curran’s throat. Barabas sat back a bit. I shuddered. “So scary. Still can’t tell you.” He opened his mouth. “Lorelei,” I said. Curran swore. Barabas.”

— Ilona Andrews

284. “Six vampires came scuttling over the roof, in assorted colors of sunblock, like someone spilled a bag of Skittles. Taste the undead rainbow.”

— Ilona Andrews

285. “Kate, you’re a pushover,” the clerk said. I leaned over the counter and offered him my best deranged smile. “Wanna push and see if I fall over?”

— Ilona Andrews

286. “The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make me warm and fuzzy.”

— Ilona Andrews

287. “Say something. Something smart. Our stares connected. His eyes were still the same; calculating, lupine, and heated by amber magic from within. “You’re late,” I told him. Yes! Brilliant. I said a thing and it made sense. It had a subject and a verb and they went together. Catalina Baylor one, Instagram Alessandro a big fat zero. “Beauty takes time.” “Oh, get over yourself.” I stepped aside.”

— Ilona Andrews

288. “Lyc-V is a jealous virus. It exterminates all other invaders with extreme prejudice.”

— Ilona Andrews

289. “Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.”

— Ilona Andrews

290. “Derek’s lips stretched into a smile on their own, driven not by humor but by the instinctual need to bare his teeth as the wild inside glared through his eyes.”

— Ilona Andrews

291. “Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?”

— Ilona Andrews

292. “Hello, Consort,’’ Mauro boomed. He got to his feet, spread his arms, and curtsied.”

— Ilona Andrews

293. “I can’t share, Nevada. I won’t.”

— Ilona Andrews

294. “When I returned, instead of beating swift retreat she suggested we should have fun together. I dunked her a couple of times. Unfortunately, I was pointing a gun at hotel security at the time, and the sheriff’s deputies showed up. Raphael ate it up. I was finally acting like a mated shapeshifter : irrationnal, possessive and head over heels in love.”

— Ilona Andrews

295. “I had come here intending to declare a possible war and instead ended up planning a dinner date with my father at Applebee’s.”

— Ilona Andrews

296. “I wasn’t moaning your name. I was shrieking in alarm.” “That was the sexiest throaty shrieking I’ve ever heard.”

— Ilona Andrews

297. “Life is trade; we trade our labor for its fruit, we trade hours of study for knowledge, we trade pleasure for pleasure or sometimes for wealth, security, or offspring.”

— Ilona Andrews

298. “As I walked back to civilization, I realized that for the first time in the six months I had known Curran, we had managed to have a conversation and part ways without wanting to kill each other. I found that fact deeply troubling.”

— Ilona Andrews

299. “He would soak in that silver glow until it shone from his eyes and sing a long song about hunting and running through the dark wood in the middle of the night.”

— Ilona Andrews

300. “Unfortunately, no matter how well you hide, sooner or later your big secret will bite you in the behind, and you might find yourself standing on a telephone pole, not sure why or how you got there, while the neighborhood pretends not to hear your piercing screeches.”

— Ilona Andrews