Top 500 Ilona Andrews Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.”

— Ilona Andrews

2. “No. Not my circus, not my undead monkeys.”

— Ilona Andrews

3. “If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.”

— Ilona Andrews

4. “Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won’t be weak.”

— Ilona Andrews

5. “Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric.”

— Ilona Andrews

6. “My patience is an infinite lake. Feel free to drown yourself.”

— Ilona Andrews

7. “Do you know what separates adults from children? Self-discipline. We don’t want to go to work, we don’t want to do our chores, and we don’t want to make unpleasant decisions, but we do all those things because we’re aware of the consequences which will follow if we don’t.”

— Ilona Andrews

8. “The phone rang. I picked it up. “Kate Daniels” “It’s me,” Curran said. “I – ” I hung up.”

— Ilona Andrews

9. “Put your badass face on and follow me.”

— Ilona Andrews

10. “When I’m with him, I can feel myself getting better. It’s like he’s picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don’t even know he’s doing it. We never talk about it. We don’t go to therapy. He just loves me and that’s enough.”

— Ilona Andrews

11. “If it feels wrong, it probably is.”

— Ilona Andrews

12. “Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.”

— Ilona Andrews

13. “A human mind is the place where emotion and reason are locked in perpetual combat. Sadly for our species, emotion always wins.”

— Ilona Andrews

14. “Never show a weakness; never show pain. The vulnerable get eaten.”

— Ilona Andrews

15. “May your life be rich in blessings and poor in misfortunes. May you see your children’s children grow up and make you proud. May your fights be short, your laughter loud, and your passion hot. May you live long and die happy.”

— Ilona Andrews

16. “All men are liars. All women are liars, too.”

— Ilona Andrews

17. “People must make their own choices, no matter how wrong those choices are. Otherwise they can’t be free.”

— Ilona Andrews

18. “Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...”

— Ilona Andrews

19. “Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.”

— Ilona Andrews

20. “Need some help, Ass Kicker?”

— Ilona Andrews

21. “We make our own choices in life. Our actions shape our lives and we alone are responsible for them.”

— Ilona Andrews

22. “Black hair, angelic face, and devil eyes.”

— Ilona Andrews

23. “I think you’re confused as to the nature of our relationship. You and I, we don’t get along. You’re a psychopathic control freak. You order me around and I want to kill you. I’m a pigheaded insubordinate ass. I drive you mad and you want to strangle me.”

— Ilona Andrews

24. “I can’t give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you’d set it on fire.”

— Ilona Andrews

25. “Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return.”

— Ilona Andrews

26. “You’re problem is, you underestimate me because I’m a woman.”

— Ilona Andrews

27. “Maybe if I prayed to Miss Marple, she’d hook me up with a clue.”

— Ilona Andrews

28. “If I were on my own, packing some power, and for some reason not wanting to be found, I might lay low for a while. But I’d know sooner or later I’d have to come out and play, because whoever’s looking for me would eventually find me. I’d start building some connections. The thing about a lone wolf? Once you corner it, it has no one to turn to.”

— Ilona Andrews

29. “When you walk a dog on a short leash, she’s close enough to bite you.”

— Ilona Andrews

30. “If I could, I would punch today right in the face.”

— Ilona Andrews

31. “It’s all fun and games until the drunk Viking Santa shows up.”

— Ilona Andrews

32. “Oh no, is it naked time?”

— Ilona Andrews

33. “He caressed my cheek. “You came for me,” I whispered. “Always,” he told me.”

— Ilona Andrews

34. “No matter what happens, you will always be Pack. Because you have that loyalty and restraint. Not human, not whatever, but Kate. Unique and different, but not separate.”

— Ilona Andrews

35. “What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf.”

— Ilona Andrews

36. “If a cultural reference flies over a man’s head, does it make a sound if nobody else gets it.”

— Ilona Andrews

37. “Living in your dreams meant bitter disappointment when you woke up.”

— Ilona Andrews

38. “True strength isn’t in killing – or ignoring – your opponent, it’s in having the will to shield those who need your protection.”

— Ilona Andrews

39. “I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome.”

— Ilona Andrews

40. “Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage.”

— Ilona Andrews

41. “What kind of a woman greets the Beast Lord with ‘here, kitty, kitty’?” he asked.”

— Ilona Andrews

42. “When life hits you in the gut, it’s always a sucker punch. You never see it coming. One moment you’re walking along, worrying your little worries and making quiet plans, and the next you’re rolled into a ball, trying to hug yourself against the pain, frantic and reeling, your mind a jumble of scared thoughts.”

— Ilona Andrews

43. “First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your ‘body’ is at all times.”

— Ilona Andrews

44. “Half-man, half-beast, all nightmare. The shapeshifter warrior form.”

— Ilona Andrews

45. “Only two kinds of people drink their coffee black: cops and serial killers.”

— Ilona Andrews

46. “People around me die. They drop like flies. I’ve gone through life leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me. My mother is dead, my guardian is dead, my aunt is dead – because I killed her, and when my real father finds me, he’ll move heaven and earth to make me dead.”

— Ilona Andrews

47. “One day I’ll kill him, you know. I glanced at her. She was deadly serious.”

— Ilona Andrews

48. “I don’t have time for druid shenanigans.”

— Ilona Andrews

49. “I’m welding the bimbo room shut.”

— Ilona Andrews

50. “Kate Daniels and her deadly attack poodle. Kill me, somebody. Julie, my adopted niece, would have a field day with this.”

— Ilona Andrews