Top 500 Ilona Andrews Quotes (2026 Update)
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401. “I hadn’t crossed the line. I’d ridden an elephant up to it and run back and forth along its edge while a mariachi band played in the background, but I hadn’t crossed it.”

— Ilona Andrews

402. “Well, well. The new head of the People’s Atlanta office had come to see me personally. I’d curtsy but I was too tired to get off my donkey and the sword on my back would get in the way.”

— Ilona Andrews

403. “It was the kind of sky that called space pirates to their ships.”

— Ilona Andrews

404. “My investigative technique mostly consisted of going through the list of interested parties and making as much noise as possible, until the culprit lost his patience and tried to shut me up.”

— Ilona Andrews

405. “You know my price,” he told her. Elara leaned back and crossed her arms, her face iced over. “Really?” “The whole thing. You’ll put it in your mouth and you’ll swallow.” What? “The whole thing?”

— Ilona Andrews

406. “If a man takes you to a restaurant of his choosing, don’t compliment him. Rave about the quality of the food and he’ll be thrilled, because he took you there.”

— Ilona Andrews

407. “He looked like he could pick up a fifty-pound rucksack, run across the city with it, and then beat an ungodly number of enemies to a bloody pulp with his bare hands while things exploded dramatically in the background.”

— Ilona Andrews

408. “Being human in our world is synonymous with being included into the framework of society. Humanity entitles one to certain rights and privileges, but also implies voluntary acceptance of laws and rules of conduct. It transcends mere biology. It’s a choice and therefore belongs solely to the individual. In essence, if a person feels they are human, then they are.”

— Ilona Andrews

409. “The world’s pulse skipped a beat. Magic flooded in. “Yes.” I grinned and grabbed the blanket. “Onward, my noble steed. To our inevitable doom and gory death.” Thirty.”

— Ilona Andrews

410. “Did you just grab my butt?” I whispered. “What?” “Curran!” “Yes?” I could hear controlled laughter in his voice. Unbelievable. I sped up. “We’re tracking ghouls and you’re grabbing my butt.” “I always make sure to pay attention to important things.”

— Ilona Andrews

411. “The problem with Conlan was that he had his father’s unshakeable confidence and his mother’s mouth.”

— Ilona Andrews

412. “Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.”

— Ilona Andrews

413. “She eats grass. Don’t ask.”

— Ilona Andrews

414. “Cerise Mar voiced a polite and a nonviolent request that they get the hell off our land, which was refused.”

— Ilona Andrews

415. “Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.”

— Ilona Andrews

416. “Life is full of surprises,” he said. “Try to cope with grace.”

— Ilona Andrews

417. “I know people who will gently persuade you to be forthcoming.”

— Ilona Andrews

418. “I opened my eyes as wide as I could. “Why, of course, Your Majesty. What was I thinking? I will go and do this right away, just please don’t look at me.” “Kate, get in the car.” “Maybe you should growl dramatically. I don’t think I’m intimidated enough.”

— Ilona Andrews

419. “Some people in the world only saw in black and white. They were driven by fear. They had learned how to survive in their little corner of the world and they saw any change as a threat to their survival.”

— Ilona Andrews

420. “Enter my lair, said the dragon. I have shiny treasure for you to play with, I’ll keep you warm and safe, and if it suits my purpose, I’ll chain you to the floor and kill your client by throwing quarters at him with my magic. Been there, done that.”

— Ilona Andrews

421. “On the seventh of May, Cerise Mar, Erian Mar, and Mikita Mar traveled to the aforementioned manor house and found Lagar Sheerile, Peva Sheerile, Arig Sheerile, and several men in their employ on the premises. Cerise Mar voiced a polite and a nonviolent request that they get the hell off our land, which was refused.”

— Ilona Andrews

422. “He smiled a slow, predatory grin. “Resistance is futile.” “You are not assimilating me.”

— Ilona Andrews

423. “Marten blinked at me and said in a hushed voice, “Why are we hiding in the bathroom?” “We are not hiding. We’re executing an evasive maneuver.”

— Ilona Andrews

424. “Shut up. How was I supposed to know two little bears hurt you, Goldilocks?”

— Ilona Andrews

425. “Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night?”

— Ilona Andrews

426. “History had a way of rolling over the best-laid plans like a runaway bulldozer.”

— Ilona Andrews

427. “I refuse to be defined by which functions my body can or cannot perform well. Quite frankly, I’m more than the sum of my physical parts. I’ve come to terms with my new life and achieved personal happiness.”

— Ilona Andrews

428. “He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he’d do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.”

— Ilona Andrews

429. “Mr. Rogan,” I frosted my voice over. “What I put into my body is my business.” Okay, that didn’t sound right.”

— Ilona Andrews

430. “Kate Daniels, deadly swordswoman and rescuer of hungry orphans. “Come in. Wash your hands.”

— Ilona Andrews

431. “Cuddles screamed. It wasn’t a braying noise, it was an ear-slapping shriek of pure donkey outrage, like someone got hold of a foghorn and tried to strangle it.”

— Ilona Andrews

432. “Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring hikers out in the Broken into thinking he was Bigfoot.”

— Ilona Andrews

433. “Amy,” Elsie Moore said in her crackling voice, her gaze fixed on Declan. “I want you to get me a new bear. A blond one.”

— Ilona Andrews

434. “If you’re really hard up, I can introduce you to my grandmother. She’s a fan.” Adam blinked. “She doesn’t typically sleep with pretty young things, but she would make an exception in your case. You might even learn a trick or two.”

— Ilona Andrews

435. “It a dude and a girl, and the house and wooo scary things happen and then they kill everything.”

— Ilona Andrews

436. “Do men often tell you you’re enchanting?” “No. Men often tell me I hit very hard.” Hint, hint.”

— Ilona Andrews

437. “Why the rifle? Everybody knows you can’t shoot.” Who were these everybodies and would they like to stand in front of me, preferably within ten feet, so I could discuss this issue in greater detail? “I can shoot just fine.” I just missed eighty percent of the time.”

— Ilona Andrews

438. “Baby, you’re not the tantrum type. You are the scary-smile-and-stabbing type.”

— Ilona Andrews

439. “You want an excuse for your failure and so you found someone to blame. If you survived, you would always be dirt, ground under someone else’s boot.”

— Ilona Andrews

440. “I would really like to know”, he said with genuine curiosity. “The next time I kill someone, I’d like to do it in a way that doesn’t freak you out.”

— Ilona Andrews

441. “He’d laugh in my face, then I’d slice him to ribbons and then he’d break my neck.”

— Ilona Andrews

442. “Are you done?” he asked. “Just getting started.” I was so brave over the phone.”

— Ilona Andrews

443. “Some things were constant in the universe. Two and two didn’t always equal four, but every water-based species at some point had heated water and thrown some plants into it.”

— Ilona Andrews

444. “I missed you,” he said, his lips stretching into a slow, lazy smile. The ice in his eyes began to melt. “Did you miss me, Nevada?” He said my name. “No.” “Not even a little bit?” “No. Never thought of you.” Just because I usually chose not to lie didn’t mean I couldn’t. Rogan grinned and all of my thoughts went to the wrong places. He was almost unbearably handsome when he smiled.”

— Ilona Andrews

445. “What the hell did this Curran do to you? Killed your master, stole your girl, burned down your castle? What?”

— Ilona Andrews

446. “Derek favored his left side. His horse refused to bear him. I couldn’t blame the horse. I wouldn’t want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me, either. But it made us slow.”

— Ilona Andrews

447. “He didn’t do it because his religion told him to murder people. He didn’t do it because he couldn’t control himself. He did it out of pure selfish greed, and he didn’t feel the least bit upset by it. I’d rather take on a demonic horde any day. The.”

— Ilona Andrews

448. “Does it involve breaking and entering?” A little smile stretched Raphael’s lips. “I see His Majesty made a move. Has he asked you to make him dinner yet?” I growled. “This isn’t about me and Curran.”

— Ilona Andrews

449. “I’m going to find Julie and I’ll ground her ass until she forgets what the sun looks like, and then I’ll go over to that school and pull their legs out.”

— Ilona Andrews

450. “I would have to stop at a local shelter and possibly PetSmart. They had silent, stealthy, vicious predators available for adoption.”

— Ilona Andrews