Top 500 Ilona Andrews Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “Caldenia smiled. “A Quillonian chef, my dear you shouldn’t have. Well you should have months ago, but one mustn’t be petty. Finally. I shall be dining in a style to which I am suited. Fantastic. Does he have moral scruples I am reasonably sure this summit will result in at least one murder, and I have never tasted an otrokar.”

— Ilona Andrews

302. “Most people will do just about anything you tell them to do, if you act with authority, give them no choice, and accept the responsibility for their actions. It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?”

— Ilona Andrews

303. “What I needed was a big fat clue. A mysterious note laying it all out. A deity popping out of thin air and explaining it to me. Hell, I’d settle for an annoying old lady with a knack for solving mysteries. I actually stopped and waited for a second to see if a clue would fall out of the sky and land at my feet. The Universe declined to oblige.”

— Ilona Andrews

304. “The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.”

— Ilona Andrews

305. “When we were at the lodge, and you were dancing in the snow, I kept wondering why the snow wasn’t melting. You’re like spring. My spring.”

— Ilona Andrews

306. “I raged across the field, killing all before me. They ran when they saw me coming, and I chased them down, and killed them before they could take someone else’s friend away from them.”

— Ilona Andrews

307. “Chicks dig a man of mystery.” “You don’t say.” “You know what else chicks dig?” “Subatomic vaporizers?” “And werewolves. Chicks really dig werewolves.” “Poor.”

— Ilona Andrews

308. “Six feet two inches tall and built like he could punch through solid walls and dodge a bullet at the same time, Jim projected a concentrated promise to kick your ass. It emanated from him like heat from a sidewalk. He never actually threatened you, but when he entered a room full of hard cases, bigger men backed off, because when he looked at them, they heard their bones breaking.”

— Ilona Andrews

309. “It couldn’t be real. People summoned monsters from the arcane realm, but I’d never heard of anyone summoning actual demons. Yet it was right there, living, breathing, real, and every instinct I had howled and clawed at my logic.”

— Ilona Andrews

310. “You are not meant to be at peace. We, the human beings, are meant to live life to its fullest. We are meant to experience it all – sadness, disappointment, rage, kindness, joy, love. We are meant to test ourselves. It is painful and frightening, but this is what it means to be alive.”

— Ilona Andrews

311. “You are not a gentle flower who spends its whole life in a greenhouse. You are a wildfire, Lark. A wildfire.”

— Ilona Andrews

312. “It’s truly rare to find a man who enjoys the sound of his own voice as much as you do.”

— Ilona Andrews

313. “Judging by the hard lines of his face and the flat look in his eyes, he’d left the Marines, but the Corps hadn’t quite left him.”

— Ilona Andrews

314. “And most of the time, I like being by myself. But when I look into my future, I see no family, no husband, no children. No warmth. I just see myself getting older and more scarred.”

— Ilona Andrews

315. “Let me help,” he said. “You’ve been taught all your life that killing another person is wrong, and that belief persists even in the fact of facts. Not only would Peaches have killed us given the chance, but this way I only had to kill on person rather than kill half a dozen of his followers. I saved several live, but your conditioning tells you I’ve done the wrong thing. I didn’t. He started it. I finished it.”

— Ilona Andrews

316. “I’m your father. That’s the great privilege of parenthood; we can comment on whatever we want.”

— Ilona Andrews

317. “History had a way of rolling over the best-laid plans like a runaway bulldozer.”

— Ilona Andrews

318. “I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan’s doughnuts in the rec room and fed it to the attack poodle in my office. He made a great production of it. First, he growled at the doughnut, just to show it who was boss. Then he nudged it with his nose. Then he licked it, until finally he snagged it into his mouth and chomped it with great pleasure, dropping crumbs all over the carpet.”

— Ilona Andrews

319. “Life gives us precious few opportunities to put our best foot forward, so when a chance to shine presents itself, one should always take it.”

— Ilona Andrews

320. “This is blasphemy!” Odalon declared in the same way Gerard Butler had once roared “This is Sparta.” Sadly, Odalon had nobody to kick into a bottomless hole for emphasis, so he settled for looking extremely put out.”

— Ilona Andrews

321. “You will. You’ll fall asleep fast and sleep soundly until morning, and then you’ll get up and have breakfast with your family because I’ll be prowling in your house tonight. And if anyone tries to interrupt your sleep and end your life, you have my word that they’ll sleep forever.” That.”

— Ilona Andrews

322. “The Scourge of Mexico and the most terrifying Prime in Houston unhinged his manly jaws and said the only thing he could, “Yes, Mother.”

— Ilona Andrews

323. “An unit is only as good as its leader. That’s why a good leader holds herself to the highest standard. It’s not about being liked or being fair. It’s about deciding what your goal is and doing what is necessary to achieve it. Especially when it’s difficult.”

— Ilona Andrews

324. “Anger – a better alternative to caffeine.”

— Ilona Andrews

325. “Tony looked at me with the long-suffering patience of an adult child who knew an educational lecture was coming and there was no way to escape. “One.”

— Ilona Andrews

326. “I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.”

— Ilona Andrews

327. “I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn’t melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena’s chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.”

— Ilona Andrews

328. “Clothes don’t have magic powers, Derek. They don’t mystically protect you from three-inch claws, rapists, or murderers. If someone decides to hurt you, they will do so whether or not you have a thin layer of denim over your skin.”

— Ilona Andrews

329. “Ghastek stood by the floor-to-ceiling window, sipping coffee from a white mug that read, Graveyard Shift: We do it in the dark.”

— Ilona Andrews

330. “Her face looked like it would shatter any second.”

— Ilona Andrews

331. “I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.”

— Ilona Andrews

332. “Curran is the Beast Lord. Tremble.”

— Ilona Andrews

333. “I wanted you to stop.” “I was encouraged by you breathlessly moaning my name.” I spun on my foot. “I wasn’t moaning your name. I was shrieking in alarm.” “That was the sexiest throaty shrieking I’ve ever heard.” “You need to get out more.”

— Ilona Andrews

334. “Perhaps I just wasn’t scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.”

— Ilona Andrews

335. “If you hang up on me again, I will slice your car into small pieces and hang them on your roof like Christmas wreaths.”

— Ilona Andrews

336. “The world’s pulse skipped a beat. Magic flooded in. “Yes.” I grinned and grabbed the blanket. “Onward, my noble steed. To our inevitable doom and gory death.” Thirty.”

— Ilona Andrews

337. “Ooo.” Hugh sucked the air in, narrowing his eyes. “Mean. I like mean.”

— Ilona Andrews

338. “She put her hand on her hip. “Where are you going?” “To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we’re cool.” Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him.”

— Ilona Andrews

339. “I batted my eyelashes and did my best to appear dumb as a board.”

— Ilona Andrews

340. “Mishmar. Your father’s hellish prison he cobbled together from the remains of office buildings from Omaha, which he destroyed. The Mishmar that’s stuffed to the brink with mutated vampires. That Mishmar.” “Yes.” “You.”

— Ilona Andrews

341. “In the whole world, there was no better place than being wrapped in him.”

— Ilona Andrews

342. “On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you’re getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.”

— Ilona Andrews

343. “I looked at the canine companion. “Me cookies. You stay.”

— Ilona Andrews

344. “I’m going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.”

— Ilona Andrews

345. “Next to me Arabella, wearing the same outfit I did, pursed her lips together and took a selfie. Ugh.”

— Ilona Andrews

346. “He said, ‘Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads?”

— Ilona Andrews

347. “What are your qualifications for this job?” she asked. “I’m expendable,” I said.”

— Ilona Andrews

348. “I’m in a Disney movie. – Augustine.”

— Ilona Andrews

349. “The human body is an amazing organism. It can go from dead tired to completely alert in a terrified blink.”

— Ilona Andrews

350. “It was Wednesday now. She’d been in town for two days.”

— Ilona Andrews