Top 500 Lemony Snicket Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “A great man once said that right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”

— Lemony Snicket

152. “The word “bubble” is in the dictionary, for instance, as is the word “peacock,” the word “vacation,” and the words “the” “author’s” “execution” “has” “been” “canceled,” which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear.”

— Lemony Snicket

153. “Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so. Just the other day, for example, it was useful and necessary for me to have an unpleasant argument with a medical student because if he hadn’t let me borrow his speedboat I would now be chained inside a very small waterproof room, instead of sitting in a typewriter factory typing our this woeful tale.”

— Lemony Snicket

154. “Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.”

— Lemony Snicket

155. “Hungry people should be fed. It takes some people a long time to figure this out.”

— Lemony Snicket

156. “But there are things that are difficult to see not because of the size of their surroundings, or a clever disguise, or a treacherous person with a book of matches in his pocket and a fiendish plot in his brain, but because the things are so upsetting to look at, so distressing to believe, that it is as if your eyes refuse to see what is right in front of them.”

— Lemony Snicket

157. “Deciding on a safe answer to a question is like deciding on a safe ingredient in a sandwich, because if you make the wrong decisions you may find that something horrible is coming out of your mouth.”

— Lemony Snicket

158. “We’ll see what you find out,” Stew said. “You’ll find out what it feels like to be thrown from a speeding train to the rocky bottom of a drained sea. Except you won’t really find out, because you’ll be dead. Get it? What I mean is, it’ll kill you when I throw you from this train so you’ll be in no state to find out what it feels like. Get it? Due to your death by falling from a train.”

— Lemony Snicket

159. “For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.”

— Lemony Snicket

160. “Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.”

— Lemony Snicket

161. “It is most likely that I will die next to a pile of books I was meaning to read.”

— Lemony Snicket

162. “I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.”

— Lemony Snicket

163. “Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”

— Lemony Snicket

164. “You know, there’s a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.”

— Lemony Snicket

165. “One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen... But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and that what you want does not matter. A series of unfortunate events can happen to anyone, no matter what they want...”

— Lemony Snicket

166. “If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.”

— Lemony Snicket

167. “I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip form slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory.”

— Lemony Snicket

168. “The bears bear hard hard yarn yarns” you are unlikely to be confused.”

— Lemony Snicket

169. “But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and what you want does not matter.”

— Lemony Snicket

170. “He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. But.”

— Lemony Snicket

171. “The first sentence was “This tome will endeavor to scrutinize, in quasi-inclusive breadth, the epistemology of ophthalmologically contrived appraisals of ocular systems and the subsequent and requisite exertions imperative for expugnation of injurious states,” and as Violet read it out loud to her sister, both children felt the dread that comes when you begin a very boring and difficult book.”

— Lemony Snicket

172. “Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.”

— Lemony Snicket

173. “A fluffy poached egg is a good breakfast, and a good breakfast is better than a bad one, like a good book is better than having your toe chopped off.”

— Lemony Snicket

174. “But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and has never hurt a soul.”

— Lemony Snicket

175. “I’m not a math tutor,” I said. “I don’t feel the need to check your work.”

— Lemony Snicket

176. “For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means ’place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.”

— Lemony Snicket

177. “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.”

— Lemony Snicket

178. “I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before than, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar marks the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area.”

— Lemony Snicket

179. “Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.”

— Lemony Snicket

180. “Are you ready?” Klaus asked finally. “No,” Sunny answered. “Me neither,” Violet said, “but if we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives. Let’s go.”

— Lemony Snicket

181. “It was an emergency,” Violet said calmly, “so I picked the lock.” “How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.”

— Lemony Snicket

182. “Of course you can trust me,” Jake Hix said. “We read the same books.”

— Lemony Snicket

183. “Her hair came first, a wild tangle as if several heads of hair were having a wrestling match, and the rest of her followed, frowning and tall. There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curious unsolved case.”

— Lemony Snicket

184. “Tapi di dunia ini baik hati saja tidak cukup, apalagi kalau orang harus menjaga anak-anak agar terhindar dari bahaya.”

— Lemony Snicket

185. “The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.”

— Lemony Snicket

186. “I write storys to entertain not to be the best.”

— Lemony Snicket

187. “Nevermore Tree was gargantuan, a word which here means ’having attained an inordinate amount of botanical volume.”

— Lemony Snicket

188. “Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.”

— Lemony Snicket

189. “Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. “We.”

— Lemony Snicket

190. “Bluh bluh bluh,” Klaus bluhed.”

— Lemony Snicket

191. “Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.”

— Lemony Snicket

192. “The difference between the two sides of the schism, is that one side puts out fires, and the other starts them.”

— Lemony Snicket

193. “So you’re a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi.”

— Lemony Snicket

194. “Being noble enough is all we can ask for in this world.”

— Lemony Snicket

195. “There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.”

— Lemony Snicket

196. “Who knows what any of those people or fish would do in our shoes?” Violet said. “It’s impossible to know.”

— Lemony Snicket

197. “Money is like a child – rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.”

— Lemony Snicket

198. “There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different. For instance, people who hate stories in which terrible things happen to small children should put this book down immediately.”

— Lemony Snicket

199. “Like everyone else, scientists are wrong from time to time, and it is easy to see that they are wrong about the table of the elements. Because although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table of the elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.”

— Lemony Snicket

200. “You know about all the villainous people who are lurking in the hotel?” Klaus said, equally incredulously. “Yes,” Justice Strauss said. “We observed rings on all the wooden furniture, from people refusing to use coasters. Obviously there are many villains staying in the hotel.”

— Lemony Snicket