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Robert Orben Quotes

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Robert Orben Quote: “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

— Robert Orben



Robert Orben Quote: “Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!”

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.”

Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Here’s to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.”

Here’s to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “If you can laugh together, you can work together.”

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “A compliment is verbal sunshine.”

A compliment is verbal sunshine.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it’s a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it’s a pen that scratches.”

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it’s a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it’s a pen that scratches.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”

I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.”

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.”

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

— Robert Orben



Robert Orben Quote: “We have enough people who tell it like it is – now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.”

We have enough people who tell it like it is – now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.”

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “If at first you don’t succeed-try, try again. Don’t think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.”

If at first you don’t succeed-try, try again. Don’t think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.”

There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.”

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.”

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “It’s amazing how important your job is when you want the day off – and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.”

It’s amazing how important your job is when you want the day off – and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.”

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.”

To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!”

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

— Robert Orben



Robert Orben Quote: “Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.”

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.”

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Realists know where they’re going. Dreamers have already been there.”

Realists know where they’re going. Dreamers have already been there.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn’t like it there’s no faking it.”

Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn’t like it there’s no faking it.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.”

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Don’t smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We’re all on the road to the grave – but there’s no need to be in the passing lane.”

Don’t smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We’re all on the road to the grave – but there’s no need to be in the passing lane.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.”

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year’s Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.”

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year’s Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.”

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, “Keep the change.””

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, “Keep the change.”

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”

Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world.”

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Do your kids a favor – don’t have any.”

Do your kids a favor – don’t have any.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.”

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.”

Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “There are days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.”

There are days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.”

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.”

A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “For Father’s Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It’s appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.”

For Father’s Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It’s appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.”

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That’s why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.”

Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That’s why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he’d carry would be aspirin.”

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he’d carry would be aspirin.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.”

When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Live your life so that if someone says ‘Be yourself’ it’s good advice.”

Live your life so that if someone says ‘Be yourself’ it’s good advice.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “They’re combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don’t want triplets.”

They’re combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don’t want triplets.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there’s never one around.”

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there’s never one around.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He’d go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.”

Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He’d go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I don’t see why religion and science can’t cooperate. What’s wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?”

I don’t see why religion and science can’t cooperate. What’s wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?

— Robert Orben


Robert Orben Quote: “I should warn you that underneath these clothes I’m wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.”

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I’m wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

— Robert Orben

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