Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2025 Update)
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101. “Because he had powerful friends in high places, and we thought no one would believe us. Because he could make or break careers. Because we felt that there was no real system in place to ask for help.”

— Ali Hazelwood

102. “How much do you hate this, on a scale from one to ‘correlation equals causation’?”

— Ali Hazelwood

103. “This war of ours, the one between the Vampyres and the Weres, began several centuries ago with brutal escalations of violence, culminated amid flowing torrents of varicolored blood, and ended in a whimper of buttercream cake on the day I met my husband for the first time. Which, as it happens, was also the day of our wedding.”

— Ali Hazelwood

104. “There was something about the way he talked. Maybe it was an accent maybe just the quality of his voice. Olive doesn’t quite know what, but it was there, in the way he said her name. Precise. Careful. Deep. Unlike anyone else. Familiar-impossibly so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

105. “She sighed. “You know, when I have no more friends and everyone hates me because of this fake-dating thing, I’ll be super lonely and you are going to have to hang out with me every day. I’ll annoy you all the time. Is it really worth being mean to every grad in the program?” “Absolutely.”

— Ali Hazelwood

106. “You are a smart-ass.”

— Ali Hazelwood

107. “Elsie, it’s the bare minimum. The bar’s so low, you could pick it up and beat him with it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

108. “I’m okay with being told ridiculous things: I’m a good girl, I’m perfect, I’ve been driving him insane, when he first saw me I changed the chemistry of his brain.”

— Ali Hazelwood

109. “Every once in a while, we need a bit of “because”, and if it’s not readily available, we make it up.”

— Ali Hazelwood

110. “And then I’ll come find you, and I’ll take care of you.” – Adam.”

— Ali Hazelwood

111. “Grad school was a mistake, but now it’s too late to back out of it because my self-worth is unbreakably tied to my academic performance, and what would even be left of me if I decide to drop out?”

— Ali Hazelwood

112. “Have you considered that maybe you’re already the way I want you to be? That maybe there are no signals because nothing needs to be changed.”

— Ali Hazelwood

113. “Impossible. Improbable. Inconceivable. Just like everything else about Adam and Olive.”

— Ali Hazelwood

114. “Graduate school success depends on qualities that are not measured by the GRE – we all know it. Why aren’t we moving toward a holistic approach to graduate admission? Also, the GRE costs hundreds of dollars! Who has the financial solubility for that? Or for the prep courses, the materials, the tutors? Let me tell you who doesn’t: not-rich people.”

— Ali Hazelwood

115. “My weakness is women in STEM. I want to protect them from the structurally unequal hellfire of academia.”

— Ali Hazelwood

116. “It is unfair that most of the physicists who win Nobel Prizes or become household names are theorists. Newton. Einstein. Feynman. Kaku. Sheldon Cooper got the seven-season spin-off show, but Leonard? Nothing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

117. “You kiss him and next thing you know he’s saving your ass and he’s buying you scones and calling you a smart-ass in a weirdly affectionate tone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

118. “Being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole.”

— Ali Hazelwood

119. “You’re supposed to be bad at this. And I’m supposed to write a www ajpdf com dissertation about how bad you are. And then you get a chunk of cheese, and I get a real job that pays real money and the joy of saying ‘I’m not that kind of doctor’ when someone is having a stroke on my airplane.”

— Ali Hazelwood

120. “She wished she could expire on the spot.”

— Ali Hazelwood

121. “Bee has a useless parasympathetic nervous system, which is an endless source of entertainment,” Levi explains to Penny. “Excuse me.” I scowl. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of stable blood pressure.” “I didn’t say it wasn’t cute,” he murmurs inaudibly against my temple. The scratch of his stubble against my skin is rough. His lips, soft. Penny seems to be a fan, too. “Does your twin faint, too?” “Nope. She got all the best things.”

— Ali Hazelwood

122. “Academia takes alot from you a gives back very little. It’s hard to stick around without a good reason to do so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

123. “But as much as he dislikes you, it’s hard to believe that he’s sabotaging you. That level of hatred requires so much effort and motivation and commitment, it’s basically love.”

— Ali Hazelwood

124. “Nuh-uh. This is a Hallmark movie. Or a poorly written young adult novel. That will not sell well. Olive, tell Malcolm to keep his day job, he’ll never make it as a writer.”

— Ali Hazelwood

125. “Is there a problem?” “Yes. Several. Global warming, systemic racism, the overpopulation of ecological niches, the unnecessary American remake of Swedish romantic horror masterpiece Let the Right One In –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

126. “Olive.” He pulled her closer, pressing his lips against her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is that you’re crying about, I will fix it. I will make it right. I-.”

— Ali Hazelwood

127. “Wouldn’t it be a problem that you’re faculty and I’m a graduate student?” He tilted his head, going serious. “It wouldn’t look great, but I don’t think so, no. Since I have no authority whatsoever over you and am not involved in your supervision. But I can ask around.”

— Ali Hazelwood

128. “Maybe I overestimated my flirting skills.”

— Ali Hazelwood

129. “I want you to marry me tomorrow so you can go on my health insurance.”

— Ali Hazelwood

130. “You lie, Elsie. Every single one of your interactions is a lie.” He crosses his arms and looms. We’re supposed to be on a tour of the department. I feel like he’s taking a tour of me. “Is this what you do with Greg, too? You code-switch a conjured, nonexistent persona he fell in love with?”

— Ali Hazelwood

131. “If my feelings for you haven’t changed after reading that Bella and Alice alphaverse fan fiction, I’m pretty sure we’re golden.” “It’s called omegaverse – and you said it was good!” “I said it was hot,” he corrects me. The blue slice darkens. “Actually, you should read it to me again. Now.”

— Ali Hazelwood

132. “I’ve never been surer of anything. Except maybe cell theory.”

— Ali Hazelwood

133. “I often feel like I can be allowed to play only if I follow the rules men made. And those rules? They downright suck.”

— Ali Hazelwood

134. “You are very impressive, Elsie.”

— Ali Hazelwood

135. “I have no idea if you’re good enough, but that’s not what you should be asking yourself. What matters is whether your reason to be in academia is good enough.”

— Ali Hazelwood

136. “Olive had felt that he was on her side. Over and over, and in ways that she could never have anticipated, he had made her feel unjudged. Less alone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

137. “See, that’s the thing I hate the most about adulting: at some point, one has to start doing it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

138. “Be gentle with me, Elsie. That’s all I ask.”

— Ali Hazelwood

139. “I need a new nervous habit. Nail biting. Fidget spinners. I’ve heard great things about crystal meth.”

— Ali Hazelwood

140. “They’re young. Their frontal lobes are not fully developed yet.”

— Ali Hazelwood

141. “I need to be certain that you don’t feel like you have to be some... fantasy lay whose only focus is my pleasure. That you’re in a place where you’re able to acknowledge and articulate your needs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

142. “She’s so mean. I love her.”

— Ali Hazelwood

143. “Do you know what’s reliable instead? What never, ever abandoned Dr. Curie in all her years? Her curiosity. Her discoveries. Her accomplishments. Science. Science is where it’s at.”

— Ali Hazelwood

144. “Adam Carlsen was handsome. Adam Carlsen, with his long nose and wavy hair, with his full lips and angular face that shouldn’t have fit together but somehow did, was really, really, really handsome. Olive had no clue why it hadn’t registered before, or why what made her realize it was him putting on a plain black shirt.”

— Ali Hazelwood

145. “You’re not just anyone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

146. “I like you very much, Mara. I like talking to you. I like watching you do yoga. I like the way you always smell like sunscreen. I like how you manage to say pretty much whatever you want while still being unbelievably kind. I like being in this house with you, and everything we do in here.”

— Ali Hazelwood

147. “How are you?” “Good. Fine. I mean, I wish I were dead. But aside from that.”

— Ali Hazelwood

148. “The point is, sometimes dislike is a gut reaction. Like falling in love at first sight, you know? Just... the opposite.”

— Ali Hazelwood

149. “Sadie, I know you like this guy a lot. I know that if he does decide that he doesn’t want you in his life it’s going to hurt, and that you’re tempted to preemptively pull back to protect yourself. But if you don’t at least give him a chance to choose you, you’ll lose him for sure.”

— Ali Hazelwood

150. “Caring what others think is a lot of work, and – with a handful of exceptions – I’m not a huge fan of work.”

— Ali Hazelwood