Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 3 of 10

101. “I have no idea if you’re good enough, but that’s not what you should be asking yourself. What matters is whether your reason to be in academia is good enough.”

— Ali Hazelwood

102. “See, that’s the thing I hate the most about adulting: at some point, one has to start doing it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

103. “This war of ours, the one between the Vampyres and the Weres, began several centuries ago with brutal escalations of violence, culminated amid flowing torrents of varicolored blood, and ended in a whimper of buttercream cake on the day I met my husband for the first time. Which, as it happens, was also the day of our wedding.”

— Ali Hazelwood

104. “There was something about the way he talked. Maybe it was an accent maybe just the quality of his voice. Olive doesn’t quite know what, but it was there, in the way he said her name. Precise. Careful. Deep. Unlike anyone else. Familiar-impossibly so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

105. “How much do you hate this, on a scale from one to ‘correlation equals causation’?”

— Ali Hazelwood

106. “She sighed. “You know, when I have no more friends and everyone hates me because of this fake-dating thing, I’ll be super lonely and you are going to have to hang out with me every day. I’ll annoy you all the time. Is it really worth being mean to every grad in the program?” “Absolutely.”

— Ali Hazelwood

107. “Elsie, it’s the bare minimum. The bar’s so low, you could pick it up and beat him with it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

108. “I’m okay with being told ridiculous things: I’m a good girl, I’m perfect, I’ve been driving him insane, when he first saw me I changed the chemistry of his brain.”

— Ali Hazelwood

109. “Every once in a while, we need a bit of “because”, and if it’s not readily available, we make it up.”

— Ali Hazelwood

110. “Have you considered that maybe you’re already the way I want you to be? That maybe there are no signals because nothing needs to be changed.”

— Ali Hazelwood

111. “And then I’ll come find you, and I’ll take care of you.” – Adam.”

— Ali Hazelwood

112. “Grad school was a mistake, but now it’s too late to back out of it because my self-worth is unbreakably tied to my academic performance, and what would even be left of me if I decide to drop out?”

— Ali Hazelwood

113. “My weakness is women in STEM. I want to protect them from the structurally unequal hellfire of academia.”

— Ali Hazelwood

114. “It is unfair that most of the physicists who win Nobel Prizes or become household names are theorists. Newton. Einstein. Feynman. Kaku. Sheldon Cooper got the seven-season spin-off show, but Leonard? Nothing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

115. “Impossible. Improbable. Inconceivable. Just like everything else about Adam and Olive.”

— Ali Hazelwood

116. “Graduate school success depends on qualities that are not measured by the GRE – we all know it. Why aren’t we moving toward a holistic approach to graduate admission? Also, the GRE costs hundreds of dollars! Who has the financial solubility for that? Or for the prep courses, the materials, the tutors? Let me tell you who doesn’t: not-rich people.”

— Ali Hazelwood

117. “You kiss him and next thing you know he’s saving your ass and he’s buying you scones and calling you a smart-ass in a weirdly affectionate tone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

118. “Being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole.”

— Ali Hazelwood

119. “You’re supposed to be bad at this. And I’m supposed to write a www ajpdf com dissertation about how bad you are. And then you get a chunk of cheese, and I get a real job that pays real money and the joy of saying ‘I’m not that kind of doctor’ when someone is having a stroke on my airplane.”

— Ali Hazelwood

120. “She wished she could expire on the spot.”

— Ali Hazelwood

121. “Bee has a useless parasympathetic nervous system, which is an endless source of entertainment,” Levi explains to Penny. “Excuse me.” I scowl. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of stable blood pressure.” “I didn’t say it wasn’t cute,” he murmurs inaudibly against my temple. The scratch of his stubble against my skin is rough. His lips, soft. Penny seems to be a fan, too. “Does your twin faint, too?” “Nope. She got all the best things.”

— Ali Hazelwood

122. “Academia takes alot from you a gives back very little. It’s hard to stick around without a good reason to do so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

123. “But as much as he dislikes you, it’s hard to believe that he’s sabotaging you. That level of hatred requires so much effort and motivation and commitment, it’s basically love.”

— Ali Hazelwood

124. “Nuh-uh. This is a Hallmark movie. Or a poorly written young adult novel. That will not sell well. Olive, tell Malcolm to keep his day job, he’ll never make it as a writer.”

— Ali Hazelwood

125. “Is there anything I can do for you? I’ll take you grocery shopping and fill your fridge when we’re back home. Buy you a new bike and a case of decent reagent and that sludge you drink. Kill the people who made you cry. Is there something you need? Name it. It’s yours. If I have it, it’s yours.”

— Ali Hazelwood

126. “Is there a problem?” “Yes. Several. Global warming, systemic racism, the overpopulation of ecological niches, the unnecessary American remake of Swedish romantic horror masterpiece Let the Right One In –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

127. “I want you to marry me tomorrow so you can go on my health insurance.”

— Ali Hazelwood

128. “You lie, Elsie. Every single one of your interactions is a lie.” He crosses his arms and looms. We’re supposed to be on a tour of the department. I feel like he’s taking a tour of me. “Is this what you do with Greg, too? You code-switch a conjured, nonexistent persona he fell in love with?”

— Ali Hazelwood

129. “Olive.” He pulled her closer, pressing his lips against her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is that you’re crying about, I will fix it. I will make it right. I-.”

— Ali Hazelwood

130. “Maybe I overestimated my flirting skills.”

— Ali Hazelwood

131. “Having kids was the worst mistake of my life.” Her eldest son was standing right next to her.”

— Ali Hazelwood

132. “The electron to my nucleus, constantly spinning around me in the most annoying of orbits. He’s.”

— Ali Hazelwood

133. “I often feel like I can be allowed to play only if I follow the rules men made. And those rules? They downright suck.”

— Ali Hazelwood

134. “You sweet summer child.”

— Ali Hazelwood

135. “Olive felt her shoulders sag with relief and had to resist the urge to fist-pump. Take that, you stupid rom-coms. She may have fallen for the dude she’d begun to fake-date like some born-yesterday fool, but at least she wouldn’t be sharing a bed with him any time soon.”

— Ali Hazelwood

136. “And you shouldn’t have to lie about your relationship status,” he continued. “Especially not so that your friend and your boyfriend can get together guilt-free. That’s not how friendship works, last I checked.”

— Ali Hazelwood

137. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

— Ali Hazelwood

138. “Science. Science is where it’s at.”

— Ali Hazelwood

139. “Olive had felt that he was on her side. Over and over, and in ways that she could never have anticipated, he had made her feel unjudged. Less alone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

140. “Then write a report about it. Due by the end of the semester. Don’t come to me bitching about it during office hours, because I will call security to escort you out.”

— Ali Hazelwood

141. “But the end does happen. Unavoidably. All relationships between living beings end somewhere, somehow. That’s just the way it is. One party dies, or is called away by other biological needs. Emotions are transient by nature. They’re temporary states brought on by neurophysiological changes that aren’t meant to be long-lasting. The nervous system must revert back to homeostasis. All relationships associated with affective events are destined to end.”

— Ali Hazelwood

142. “Probabilmente gli piaceva qualcosa di tremendo, come fare i dispetti alle mucche oppure i combattimenti tra coleotteri giapponesi.”

— Ali Hazelwood

143. “Be gentle with me, Elsie. That’s all I ask.”

— Ali Hazelwood

144. “I turn and – it’s Jack. Of course it’s Jack. The electron to my nucleus, constantly spinning around me in the most annoying of orbits.”

— Ali Hazelwood

145. “I call them the Quasimotoes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

146. “I need a new nervous habit. Nail biting. Fidget spinners. I’ve heard great things about crystal meth.”

— Ali Hazelwood

147. “They’re young. Their frontal lobes are not fully developed yet.”

— Ali Hazelwood

148. “I need to be certain that you don’t feel like you have to be some... fantasy lay whose only focus is my pleasure. That you’re in a place where you’re able to acknowledge and articulate your needs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

149. “I like you very much, Mara. I like talking to you. I like watching you do yoga. I like the way you always smell like sunscreen. I like how you manage to say pretty much whatever you want while still being unbelievably kind. I like being in this house with you, and everything we do in here.”

— Ali Hazelwood

150. “She’s so mean. I love her.”

— Ali Hazelwood