Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “Adam: Think I can smuggle this on the plane? She didn’t need to be told that she was grinning at her phone like an idiot. Olive: Well, TSA is notoriously incompetent. Olive: Though maybe not that incompetent? Adam: Too bad. Adam: Wish you were here, then.”

— Ali Hazelwood

102. “But before I can say anything, he cups my cheek and leans down to kiss me once more. This time it’s sweet, slow, savoring. Patient. This time it’s lingering and gentle – everything our other kiss wasn’t. I want to try them all. All the kisses Levi Ward is capable of, I want to sample them like fine wine.”

— Ali Hazelwood

103. “Yeah, but there are other computational modelers in the department. And I’d like to eventually graduate, ideally without sobbing in a bathroom stall after each committee meeting.” He glared at her. Olive shrugged. “No offense. I’m a simple girl, with simple needs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

104. “Not to kill anyone’s buzz, but I’m starting to suspect that life might not always turn out the way you want.”

— Ali Hazelwood

105. “God, she had forced a married man, a father, to kiss her. Now people thought that he was having an affair. His wife was probably crying into her pillow. His kids would grow up with horrible daddy issues and become serial killers.”

— Ali Hazelwood

106. “It would be lots of work in little time, but who needed sleep? Or bathroom breaks?”

— Ali Hazelwood

107. “Maybe you just pull out the best in me?”

— Ali Hazelwood

108. “Is this another one of your green card marriage interview questions?”

— Ali Hazelwood

109. “I do reserve the right to comment on your abysmal taste in men.”

— Ali Hazelwood

110. “My job is to form rigorous researchers who won’t publish useless or harmful crap that will set back our field. Academia is cluttered with terrible science and mediocre scientists. I couldn’t care less about how your friends perceive me, as long as their work is up to standard. If they want to drop out when told that it’s not, then so be it. Not everyone has what it takes to be a scientist, and those who don’t should be weeded out.”

— Ali Hazelwood

111. “It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when she was sitting on her bed staring at the Boston skyline and chewing on her lunch, that Olive realized that the protein bar Adam had given her was covered in chocolate.”

— Ali Hazelwood

112. “Her heart may be broken, but her brain was doing just fine.”

— Ali Hazelwood

113. “Academia takes alot from you a gives back very little. It’s hard to stick around without a good reason to do so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

114. “But as much as he dislikes you, it’s hard to believe that he’s sabotaging you. That level of hatred requires so much effort and motivation and commitment, it’s basically love.”

— Ali Hazelwood

115. “Is there anything I can do for you? I’ll take you grocery shopping and fill your fridge when we’re back home. Buy you a new bike and a case of decent reagent and that sludge you drink. Kill the people who made you cry. Is there something you need? Name it. It’s yours. If I have it, it’s yours.”

— Ali Hazelwood

116. “Yep. I’m so glad he finally scrounged up the courage to ask you out. He’d been going on and on about this ‘amazing girl’ for years, but he was concerned about being in the same department, and you know how he is... ” He shrugged and waved his hand. “I’m glad he finally managed to pull his head out of his ass.”

— Ali Hazelwood

117. “My favourite colour must be green, after all.”

— Ali Hazelwood

118. “Olive was reminded of that guy from the bathroom, from years ago. I have no idea if you’re good enough, he’d told her. What matters is whether your reason to be in academia is good enough. He’d said that Olive’s reason was the best one, and therefore, she could do this. She needed to do this.”

— Ali Hazelwood

119. “Your therapist sounds great.” “He was.” “But i still want to commit patricide.”

— Ali Hazelwood

120. “There hasn’t been anyone else.” His jaw tenses and works. “Since the first moment I saw you. Since the first moment I talked to you and made an ass of myself, there hasn’t been anyone else.”

— Ali Hazelwood

121. “She was going to lose her visa and her only source of income and move back to Canada, where it snowed all the time and people ate moose heart and –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

122. “Ssh.” His arm slid around her waist, his hand coming to rest on her hip in a gesture that should have been unpleasant but just felt reassuring. His voice was low when he added, “It’s fine.” The words vibrated in her ear, rich and warm. “More material for my Title IX complaint.”

— Ali Hazelwood

123. “You can be you with me. You can talk, say, do however you want. And I’ll never hurt you like they did.′ I make myself smile at him. It’s easy now. ‘I promise I don’t bite.’ He reaches over to take my hand, his skin warm and rough against mine. He smiles back just a little. ‘You could rip me to shreds, Bee.”

— Ali Hazelwood

124. “How is this man I hate surrounded by everything I love? It’s the ultimate mindfuck.”

— Ali Hazelwood

125. “You can introduce me to the hamster.” “Guinea pig.” “Pretty sure they’re the same thing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

126. “Ik hou van jou, Adam.”

— Ali Hazelwood

127. “I’ve never been surer of anything. Except maybe cell theory.”

— Ali Hazelwood

128. “Olive felt her shoulders sag with relief and had to resist the urge to fist-pump. Take that, you stupid rom-coms. She may have fallen for the dude she’d begun to fake-date like some born-yesterday fool, but at least she wouldn’t be sharing a bed with him any time soon.”

— Ali Hazelwood

129. “I broke up with him. Told him he wasn’t pink enough.” She shrugs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

130. “He’d been going on and on about this amazing girl for years.”

— Ali Hazelwood

131. “I’m sorry about the socks, by the way.” She winced. “I know it’s a controversial topic.”

— Ali Hazelwood

132. “I doubt a language exists in which the thing you just ordered could be referred to as ’coffee.”

— Ali Hazelwood

133. “Only child of financially rich but emotionally poor parents. I could do whatever I wanted but had no one to do it with.”

— Ali Hazelwood

134. “Apparently, weeping silently was her new baseline state.”

— Ali Hazelwood

135. “Because you have been secretly pining for years?” He meets my eyes squarely. “I don’t know that there was anything secret about that.”

— Ali Hazelwood

136. “Probabilmente gli piaceva qualcosa di tremendo, come fare i dispetti alle mucche oppure i combattimenti tra coleotteri giapponesi.”

— Ali Hazelwood

137. “Bold of you to assume that the real me is my best hand.” That stupid, crooked half smile is back. “Foolish of you to think it isn’t.”

— Ali Hazelwood

138. “MARIE: Did she at least get ugly while she was gone? SHMAC: She’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

— Ali Hazelwood

139. “This might be inappropriate but... Olive. You are really... You are extraordinary.”

— Ali Hazelwood

140. “Please don’t build an atomic bomb.” “Don’t tell me what to do.” He sighs. “I’ll make room for the plutonium in the cheese drawer.”

— Ali Hazelwood

141. “I call them the Quasimotoes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

142. “I really wish I had the emotional fortitude to hang up on you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

143. “Like I’m as light as an Amazon delivery box, the giant ones that for some reason have only a single stick of deodorant packed inside.”

— Ali Hazelwood

144. “It had been one year. Exactly one year. And by now his body was so familiar to her, she knew the breadth of his shoulders, the scratch of his stubble, the scent of his skin, all by heart; she could feel the smile in his eyes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

145. “Clearly, sports were another thing Adam Carlsen excelled at – unfairly so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

146. “Listen” – she made to stand from the chair, panic rising in her throat – “I’m sorry, but if one of the reasons you offered to fake-date is that you thought that we would – ” “No.” The word half exploded out of him. He looked genuinely appalled. “I’m shocked that you’d even feel the need to bring it up.”

— Ali Hazelwood

147. “Reike wasn’t nearly as distraught: when I frantically explained that “pigs have families, too – a mom and a dad and siblings that will miss them,” she just nodded thoughtfully and said, “What you’re saying is, we should eat the whole family?”

— Ali Hazelwood

148. “Dude, dates are amazing.” “No, they’re not.” “Yes. Try wrapping them in bacon.”

— Ali Hazelwood

149. “But maybe I want to play with the Herschel Crater first.”

— Ali Hazelwood

150. “Be gentle with me, Elsie. That’s all I ask.”

— Ali Hazelwood