Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2026 Update)
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101. “Be gentle with me, Elsie. That’s all I ask.”

— Ali Hazelwood

102. “Because I’m afraid that if I hurt them with the truth, then they’ll leave me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

103. “I’m a cave troll. I’m so unpleasant to be around, I make him clumsy. The sheer power I hold.”

— Ali Hazelwood

104. “Before, I’d never really tried.”

— Ali Hazelwood

105. “Being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole.”

— Ali Hazelwood

106. “There is something about you. That you tirelessly study people. Figure out who they are, what they want, and then mold yourself into whatever shape you think will fit them. I’ve seen you play half a dozen different roles for half a dozen different situations, switching personalities like you’re channel surfing, and I still have no idea who you are.”

— Ali Hazelwood

107. “Because he had powerful friends in high places, and we thought no one would believe us. Because he could make or break careers. Because we felt that there was no real system in place to ask for help.”

— Ali Hazelwood

108. “Do you know what’s reliable instead? What never, ever abandoned Dr. Curie in all her years? Her curiosity. Her discoveries. Her accomplishments. Science. Science is where it’s at.”

— Ali Hazelwood

109. “I’m okay with being told ridiculous things: I’m a good girl, I’m perfect, I’ve been driving him insane, when he first saw me I changed the chemistry of his brain.”

— Ali Hazelwood

110. “But as much as he dislikes you, it’s hard to believe that he’s sabotaging you. That level of hatred requires so much effort and motivation and commitment, it’s basically love.”

— Ali Hazelwood

111. “Are you not letting him smack the salmon because of the article he wrote? Is this seventeen-year-old self cockblocking him from the past?”

— Ali Hazelwood

112. “It never occurred to Olive that Dr. Adam Carlsen – known ass – had called her by her name.”

— Ali Hazelwood

113. “Having kids was the worst mistake of my life.” Her eldest son was standing right next to her.”

— Ali Hazelwood

114. “And then I’ll come find you, and I’ll take care of you.” – Adam.”

— Ali Hazelwood

115. “Olive.” He pulled her closer, pressing his lips against her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is that you’re crying about, I will fix it. I will make it right. I-.”

— Ali Hazelwood

116. “You lie, Elsie. Every single one of your interactions is a lie.” He crosses his arms and looms. We’re supposed to be on a tour of the department. I feel like he’s taking a tour of me. “Is this what you do with Greg, too? You code-switch a conjured, nonexistent persona he fell in love with?”

— Ali Hazelwood

117. “Thank you, Oh Penised Overlords, for the recognition I deserve.”

— Ali Hazelwood

118. “My job is to form rigorous researchers who won’t publish useless or harmful crap that will set back our field. Academia is cluttered with terrible science and mediocre scientists. I couldn’t care less about how your friends perceive me, as long as their work is up to standard. If they want to drop out when told that it’s not, then so be it. Not everyone has what it takes to be a scientist, and those who don’t should be weeded out.”

— Ali Hazelwood

119. “See, that’s the thing I hate the most about adulting: at some point, one has to start doing it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

120. “And you shouldn’t have to lie about your relationship status,” he continued. “Especially not so that your friend and your boyfriend can get together guilt-free. That’s not how friendship works, last I checked.”

— Ali Hazelwood

121. “The line of his jaw, so sharp it could cut a heart.”

— Ali Hazelwood

122. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry, okay?”

— Ali Hazelwood

123. “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a community of women trying to mind their own business must be in want of a random man’s opinion.”

— Ali Hazelwood

124. “I am catastrophically, ruinously in love with you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

125. “If my feelings for you haven’t changed after reading that Bella and Alice alphaverse fan fiction, I’m pretty sure we’re golden.” “It’s called omegaverse – and you said it was good!” “I said it was hot,” he corrects me. The blue slice darkens. “Actually, you should read it to me again. Now.”

— Ali Hazelwood

126. “I love her nagging us because we have only vegan food in the house and she’s “sick of competing with the cats for a meager slice of chicken breast!”

— Ali Hazelwood

127. “Academia takes alot from you a gives back very little. It’s hard to stick around without a good reason to do so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

128. “Nuh-uh. This is a Hallmark movie. Or a poorly written young adult novel. That will not sell well. Olive, tell Malcolm to keep his day job, he’ll never make it as a writer.”

— Ali Hazelwood

129. “How much do you hate this, on a scale from one to ‘correlation equals causation’?”

— Ali Hazelwood

130. “This war of ours, the one between the Vampyres and the Weres, began several centuries ago with brutal escalations of violence, culminated amid flowing torrents of varicolored blood, and ended in a whimper of buttercream cake on the day I met my husband for the first time. Which, as it happens, was also the day of our wedding.”

— Ali Hazelwood

131. “She wished she could expire on the spot.”

— Ali Hazelwood

132. “Dignity is overrated.”

— Ali Hazelwood

133. “You are not mediocre, Olive. You were not invited to speak because people think that you are my girlfriend – there is no such thing, since SBD’s abstracts go through a blind review process. I would know, because I’ve been roped into reviewing them in the past. And the work you presented is important, rigorous and brilliant.” He took a deep breath. His shoulders rose and fell in time with the thudding of her heart. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

134. “Bee has a useless parasympathetic nervous system, which is an endless source of entertainment,” Levi explains to Penny. “Excuse me.” I scowl. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of stable blood pressure.” “I didn’t say it wasn’t cute,” he murmurs inaudibly against my temple. The scratch of his stubble against my skin is rough. His lips, soft. Penny seems to be a fan, too. “Does your twin faint, too?” “Nope. She got all the best things.”

— Ali Hazelwood

135. “I love you, I think, and you are my home.”

— Ali Hazelwood

136. “He’s fully clothed, barely touching a woman who’s fully clothed herself, and yet this kiss is without a doubt the most profoundly erotic experience of his life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

137. “You are very impressive, Elsie.”

— Ali Hazelwood

138. “It sounds sketchy. Like he’s trying to lure me to a secondary location to traffic me to people who’ll harvest my femurs to make handles for badminton racquets.”

— Ali Hazelwood

139. “Men were a mistake,” Sadie says. “Big mistake,” Hannah adds. “Huge.”

— Ali Hazelwood

140. “There was something about the way he talked. Maybe it was an accent maybe just the quality of his voice. Olive doesn’t quite know what, but it was there, in the way he said her name. Precise. Careful. Deep. Unlike anyone else. Familiar-impossibly so.”

— Ali Hazelwood

141. “You kiss him and next thing you know he’s saving your ass and he’s buying you scones and calling you a smart-ass in a weirdly affectionate tone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

142. “You’re supposed to be bad at this. And I’m supposed to write a www ajpdf com dissertation about how bad you are. And then you get a chunk of cheese, and I get a real job that pays real money and the joy of saying ‘I’m not that kind of doctor’ when someone is having a stroke on my airplane.”

— Ali Hazelwood

143. “The point is, sometimes dislike is a gut reaction. Like falling in love at first sight, you know? Just... the opposite.”

— Ali Hazelwood

144. “She sighed. “You know, when I have no more friends and everyone hates me because of this fake-dating thing, I’ll be super lonely and you are going to have to hang out with me every day. I’ll annoy you all the time. Is it really worth being mean to every grad in the program?” “Absolutely.”

— Ali Hazelwood

145. “Graduate school success depends on qualities that are not measured by the GRE – we all know it. Why aren’t we moving toward a holistic approach to graduate admission? Also, the GRE costs hundreds of dollars! Who has the financial solubility for that? Or for the prep courses, the materials, the tutors? Let me tell you who doesn’t: not-rich people.”

— Ali Hazelwood

146. “You want to belong. You want someone who won’t let go. I’m it. I didn’t let go of you for years, and I didn’t even have you. But you need to let me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

147. “It is unfair that most of the physicists who win Nobel Prizes or become household names are theorists. Newton. Einstein. Feynman. Kaku. Sheldon Cooper got the seven-season spin-off show, but Leonard? Nothing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

148. “It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when she was sitting on her bed staring at the Boston skyline and chewing on her lunch, that Olive realized that the protein bar Adam had given her was covered in chocolate.”

— Ali Hazelwood

149. “Is there a problem?” “Yes. Several. Global warming, systemic racism, the overpopulation of ecological niches, the unnecessary American remake of Swedish romantic horror masterpiece Let the Right One In –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

150. “Olive had felt that he was on her side. Over and over, and in ways that she could never have anticipated, he had made her feel unjudged. Less alone.”

— Ali Hazelwood