Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “How refreshing, to talk with someone who’d watched a rom-com. Or ten.”

— Ali Hazelwood

2. “I want to tell her that she’s luminous, she’s so bright in my mind, sometimes I can’t focus.”

— Ali Hazelwood

3. “This might be inappropriate but... Olive. You are really... You are extraordinary.”

— Ali Hazelwood

4. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

— Ali Hazelwood

5. “Somewhere in the universe antimatter is being produced, and it’s all because of this. Because of us.”

— Ali Hazelwood

6. “The distance between us is perfectly appropriate. It just feels like it isn’t, because Levi is so large. And warm. Because he’s Levi.”

— Ali Hazelwood

7. “You put in expired contacts?” He sounded personally offended. “Just a little expired.” “What’s ‘a little’?” “I don’t know. A few years?” “What?” His consonants were sharp and precise. Crisp. Pleasant. “Only just a couple, I think.” “Just a couple of years?” “It’s okay. Expiration dates are for the weak.”

— Ali Hazelwood

8. “Vegan donuts are for vegans, you absolute walnut.”

— Ali Hazelwood

9. “If you say another word about the woman I love, He’d clearly never seen a rom-com or read a romance novel in his life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

10. “How is this man I hate surrounded by everything I love? It’s the ultimate mindfuck.”

— Ali Hazelwood

11. “Funny how my physics career and my people-pleasing career started around the same time.”

— Ali Hazelwood

12. “It’s never too late to tell the truth.”

— Ali Hazelwood

13. “Have the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

— Ali Hazelwood

14. “I must say, the line between excellent career choice and critical life screwup is getting a bit blury.”

— Ali Hazelwood

15. “That’s the thing with science. We’re drilled to believe that false positives are bad, but false negatives are just as terrifying.” She swallowed. “Not being able to see something, even if it’s in front of your eyes. Purposefully making yourself blind, just because you’re afraid of seeing too much.”

— Ali Hazelwood

16. “To be fair, I don’t like people in general.”

— Ali Hazelwood

17. “Here’s the honesty: I’m in love with you. But that’s not news. Not to me, and not to you, I don’t think. Not if you’re honest with yourself – which you say you are, right?”

— Ali Hazelwood

18. “Sweetheart,” he murmured. “What is the second thing?” She was still crying, but she’d never been happier. So she said it, probably in the worst accent he’d ever heard. “Ik hou van jou, Adam.”

— Ali Hazelwood

19. “For looking at her like she was the beginning and end of his every thought.”

— Ali Hazelwood

20. “There’s probably German word for that. Cute, but exceptionally ugly.”

— Ali Hazelwood

21. “Pumpkin spice is not harmless. It’s a radioactive, overpowering sugar bomb that worms its way into every sort of product and is single-handedly responsible for the extinction of the Caribbean monk seal.”

— Ali Hazelwood

22. “You can fall in love: someone will catch you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

23. “A heart will break even more easily than the weakest of hydrogen bonds.”

— Ali Hazelwood

24. “We’re only humans. We’re full of ″whys″, drowning in ″whys.″ Every once in a while, we need a bit of ″because,″ and if it’s not readily available, we make it up.”

— Ali Hazelwood

25. “HYPOTHESIS: If I fall in love, things will invariably end poorly.”

— Ali Hazelwood

26. “Travel, see new places, experience new things. It’s like yearning for change is hardwired in her brain.”

— Ali Hazelwood

27. “HYPOTHESIS: Any rumor regarding my love life will spread with a speed that is directly proportional to my desire to keep said rumor a secret.”

— Ali Hazelwood

28. “The real villain is love: an unstable isotope, constantly undergoing spontaneous nuclear decay. And it will forever go unpunished.”

— Ali Hazelwood

29. “I’m starting to wonder if this is what being in love is. Being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole.”

— Ali Hazelwood

30. “Not being able to see something, even if it’s in front of your eyes. Purposefully making yourself blind, just because you’re afraid of seeing too much.” “Are you saying that statistics graduate education is inadequate?”

— Ali Hazelwood

31. “Don’t be. Life is pain and then you die.”

— Ali Hazelwood

32. “You don’t even have to admit to yourself that you love me, Bee. God knows I love you enough for the both of us – Levi Ward.”

— Ali Hazelwood

33. “Carlsen. Is he blackmailing you? Did he find out that you’re an aberration and pee in the shower?” “First of all, it’s time efficient.” Olive glared. “Second, I find it oddly flattering that you’d think Carlsen would go to these ridiculous lengths to get me to date him.”

— Ali Hazelwood

34. “I love you, I think. And I suspect that you love me, too. And I cannot wait for us to admit it to each other. I cannot wait to see what happens next.”

— Ali Hazelwood

35. “Not having a life came in handy, sometimes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

36. “He could fit her entire breast in his mouth. All of it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

37. “That for years she’d wondered whether she was asexual and she had realized only recently that she might be able to experience sexual attraction, but only with people she trusted deeply?”

— Ali Hazelwood

38. “I like no one, absolutely no one, but I liked you from the start.”

— Ali Hazelwood

39. “Fine. But if you’re not feeling well, you tell me immediately and I’ll take you away.”

— Ali Hazelwood

40. “You’ll always be my kalamata.”

— Ali Hazelwood

41. “He kisses like a man starved.”

— Ali Hazelwood

42. “Only child of financially rich but emotionally poor parents. I could do whatever I wanted but had no one to do it with.”

— Ali Hazelwood

43. “I think that somewhere along the way I forgot that I was something. I forgot myself.”

— Ali Hazelwood

44. “On a Likert scale ranging from one to ten, Jeremy’s timing will be negative fifty, with a standard error of the mean of zero point two.”

— Ali Hazelwood

45. “You can be you with me. You can talk, say, do however you want. And I’ll never hurt you like they did.′ I make myself smile at him. It’s easy now. ‘I promise I don’t bite.’ He reaches over to take my hand, his skin warm and rough against mine. He smiles back just a little. ‘You could rip me to shreds, Bee.”

— Ali Hazelwood

46. “Everyone, Ol. He’s a tall, broody, sullen hunk with a genius IQ. Everyone likes tall, broody, sullen hunks with genius IQs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

47. “Porque empiezo a preguntarme si estar enamorada es esto: que no te importe hacerte pedazos para que la otra persona pueda permanecer entera.”

— Ali Hazelwood

48. “Easy peasy, photons squeezy.”

— Ali Hazelwood

49. “I am going to take care of this,” he told her. There was something determined, earnest in his eyes. Olive had never felt safer, or more loved. “And then I’ll come find you, and I’ll take care of you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

50. “You were always in my head. And I could never get you out.”

— Ali Hazelwood