Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “He was holding his key card and typing something in his phone, but stopped as soon as he looked up and noticed Olive. His mouth opened, and – That was it. It just stayed open.”

— Ali Hazelwood

202. “Talking on the phone is the hardest, most stressful thing in the world, and I can’t do it with the nice lady who schedules my dental cleanings, let alone with Adam Carlsen.”

— Ali Hazelwood

203. “I’ve become like my parents,” he mused. “Exclusively committed to my job.”

— Ali Hazelwood

204. “You see this scrawny, stunted, unmuscled body? It’s built to live in parasitic symbiosis with a couch. It resists training with the force of many million ohms.”

— Ali Hazelwood

205. “An empty canvas to paint on. A mirror, reflecting only what others care to project. A bolt of fabric that can be custom tailored to.”

— Ali Hazelwood

206. “Children’s librarian seemed like a great fake profession. It’s been fun scouring online forums in search of charming anecdotes. “Today I found three Goldfish crackers in our best copy of Matilda,” I say with a smile. Or at least, Reddit user iluvbigbooks did.”

— Ali Hazelwood

207. “He’d clearly never seen a rom-com or read a romance novel in his life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

208. “You’re so big.” He groaned into her neck. His entire body was vibrating with tension. “You can take it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

209. “That’s the thing with science. We’re drilled to believe that false positives are bad, but false negatives are just as terrifying.”

— Ali Hazelwood

210. “He smiles, and the thought that I could have died – I could have died – without being smiled sat like this, by this man, has my lips trembling.”

— Ali Hazelwood

211. “Dr. Carlsen, this is not something you should joke – ” “You really need to start calling me Adam. Since we’ve reportedly been dating for a while.”

— Ali Hazelwood

212. “She was going to have to bring her laptop to the toilet and write while she peed. “No problem at all,” she added, leaning even harder into her lie.”

— Ali Hazelwood

213. “My eyes sting. I bite my lip to keep the tears at bay, but my stupid body betrays me once again and I’m crying, I’m crying in front of him, and I hate him. I’m not mad at him – I hate him. For the way he’s treated me. For having the solid career I don’t. For concealing the politics of this damn septic tank of a project. I hate him, hate him, hate him, with a passion.”

— Ali Hazelwood

214. “The internet is a sea full of creepy, cybercriminal fish, and if Mark Zuckerberg can cover his laptop webcam with a piece of tape, I reserve the right to keep things painfully anonymous.”

— Ali Hazelwood

215. “I want to buy her flowers, food, books.”

— Ali Hazelwood

216. “This is the equivalent to someone buying their own ‘World’s Best Boss’ mug. Congratulations, you’re officially NASA’s Micheal Scott.”

— Ali Hazelwood

217. “I had a vision of your future in academia.” Olive wrapped her arms around Anh. “What vision?” “You were a high-powered researcher, surrounded by students who hung on your every word. And you were answering a multiparagraph email with an uncapitalized no.” “Nice. Was I happy?” “Of course not.” Anh snorted. “It’s academia.”

— Ali Hazelwood

218. “What you have now, it will have to be enough.”

— Ali Hazelwood

219. “You want to belong. You want someone who won’t let go. I’m it. I didn’t let go of you for years, and I didn’t even have you. But you need to let me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

220. “I know Levi is supposed to be my point of contact, but he’s currently sitting on three unanswered emails. I’m not sure how to get him to reply. Use Comic Sans? Write in primary colors?”

— Ali Hazelwood

221. “I’ve been to tons of these back at Northeastern, and all they manage to show is that we academics are awkward, resentful nerds unable to interact with our colleagues without litres of ethanolic lubricant.”

— Ali Hazelwood

222. “She would have loved to run to the edge of campus and scream into the void until modern civilization collapsed, but that wasn’t exactly a pressing matter.”

— Ali Hazelwood

223. “She’s wearing a purple jumpsuit and heart-shaped sunglasses,, and her hair is pulled over her shoulder into a fishtail braid that reaches her ribcage. Her purse is shaped like a watermelon, and her necklace is a pink flower with the letter K in its middle. I want to be her.”

— Ali Hazelwood

224. “Adam: Think I can smuggle this on the plane? She didn’t need to be told that she was grinning at her phone like an idiot. Olive: Well, TSA is notoriously incompetent. Olive: Though maybe not that incompetent? Adam: Too bad. Adam: Wish you were here, then.”

— Ali Hazelwood

225. “He is just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to do twice as much work as he ever did in order to prove that she’s worthy of becoming a scientist.”

— Ali Hazelwood

226. “Maybe that’s what he majored in at Dartmouth: Snow Shoveling. Nicely complemented by a minor in Muscles. His honors thesis was titled The Importance of Armceps in Ergonomic Excavating. Then he moved to graduate school to study How-to-Make-a-Mundane-Winter-Task-Look-Attractive Law.”

— Ali Hazelwood

227. “I love you, I think, and you are my home.”

— Ali Hazelwood

228. “But before I can say anything, he cups my cheek and leans down to kiss me once more. This time it’s sweet, slow, savoring. Patient. This time it’s lingering and gentle – everything our other kiss wasn’t. I want to try them all. All the kisses Levi Ward is capable of, I want to sample them like fine wine.”

— Ali Hazelwood

229. “His cheek curved. “You are such a smart-ass.”

— Ali Hazelwood

230. “I wanted to stop feeling as though I were rotting in my own aimlessness, and I wanted my head to stop spinning all the time.”

— Ali Hazelwood

231. “Yeah, but there are other computational modelers in the department. And I’d like to eventually graduate, ideally without sobbing in a bathroom stall after each committee meeting.” He glared at her. Olive shrugged. “No offense. I’m a simple girl, with simple needs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

232. “Not to kill anyone’s buzz, but I’m starting to suspect that life might not always turn out the way you want.”

— Ali Hazelwood

233. “I’ve long learned that engagin with basement-dwelling stemlords who come online looking for a fight is never a good idea – the last thing I want is to provide free entertainment for their fragile egos. If they want to blow off some steam, they can buy a gym membership or play third-person-shooter games. Like normal people.”

— Ali Hazelwood

234. “Oh, Levi, Levi. I can be fearless. I can be as fearless and honest as you are. If you will teach me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

235. “Pumpkin spice is Satan’s dandruff, harbinger of the apocalypse, and it tastes like ass – not in the good way.”

— Ali Hazelwood

236. “It would be lots of work in little time, but who needed sleep? Or bathroom breaks?”

— Ali Hazelwood

237. “Maybe you just pull out the best in me?”

— Ali Hazelwood

238. “Is this another one of your green card marriage interview questions?”

— Ali Hazelwood

239. “He kisses like he’s already inside me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

240. “Can I ask you a question?”

— Ali Hazelwood

241. “You know what your condition is? It’s called – ” “Not a condition, we’ve been over – ” “ – avoidant attachment. You’re pathologically independent and don’t let others come close out of fear that they’ll eventually leave you. You have erected a fence around you – the Bee-fence – and are terrified of anything resembling emotional –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

242. “Is everything okay?” He said it looking into her eyes, in a low, intimate tone. Like they were alone. Like Anh was not there. He said it in a way that should have made Olive uncomfortable but didn’t. For some inexplicable reason his presence in the room soothed her, even though until a second ago she had been freaking out. Perhaps two different types of unease neutralized each other?”

— Ali Hazelwood

243. “Likely. Actually, scratch that, you probably don’t like ice cream anyway, because you don’t enjoy anything that’s good in life.” She kept on walking, pensively chewing on her lower lip. “Maybe the cafeteria has some raw broccoli?” “I don’t deserve this verbal abuse on top of the flu shot.” She beamed. “You’re such a trooper. Even though the big bad needle is out to get you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

244. “I think I have found a set of biomarkers. Not from tissue biopsy – blood biomarkers. Noninvasive, easy to obtain. Cheap. In mice they can detect pancreatic cancer as early as stage one.”

— Ali Hazelwood

245. “LILY SULLIVAN IS warm, personable, and sweet in a delicious Southern way.”

— Ali Hazelwood

246. “He gives me a confused, curious look. Like he knows that I’m complicated, but he doesn’t mind. Like he’d rather spend the rest of his life studying an inch of me than discovering the mysteries behind the universe.”

— Ali Hazelwood

247. “I’m not a very secretive person, mostly out of laziness: I refuse to take on the cognitive labor of tracking lies and omissions.”

— Ali Hazelwood

248. “I like to see you. When you’re not trying to be someone else.”

— Ali Hazelwood

249. “Loneliness is not abstract and intangible – metaphors about desert islands and mismatched shoes, Edward Hopper’s characters staring at windows, Fiona Apple’s entire discography. Loneliness is here. It molds our souls, but also our bodies.”

— Ali Hazelwood

250. “It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when she was sitting on her bed staring at the Boston skyline and chewing on her lunch, that Olive realized that the protein bar Adam had given her was covered in chocolate.”

— Ali Hazelwood