Top 500 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2026 Update)
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351. “What you have now, it will have to be enough.”

— Ali Hazelwood

352. “He kisses, Olive thought, like a man starved.”

— Ali Hazelwood

353. “I know Levi is supposed to be my point of contact, but he’s currently sitting on three unanswered emails. I’m not sure how to get him to reply. Use Comic Sans? Write in primary colors?”

— Ali Hazelwood

354. “I marvel that I was given credit for my idea. Goes to show how low the bar is for cis dudes in STEM, doesn’t it?”

— Ali Hazelwood

355. “Bee has a useless parasympathetic nervous system, which is an endless source of entertainment,” Levi explains to Penny. “Excuse me.” I scowl. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of stable blood pressure.”

— Ali Hazelwood

356. “I’m afraid of the unpredictability of existing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

357. “I step out with a small wave and notice two things: he’s staring hard at his feet, and his left hand is a tight fist at his side.”

— Ali Hazelwood

358. “Could he be one of those people who are hyperconfident in professional settings and the total opposite in their social lives? Nah. Unlikely.”

— Ali Hazelwood

359. “You just had to go and make me fall for you, she thought, blinking against his skin. You absolute ass.”

— Ali Hazelwood

360. “It’s okay, Olive. Breathe.”

— Ali Hazelwood

361. “It sounds sketchy. Like he’s trying to lure me to a secondary location.”

— Ali Hazelwood

362. “I laugh again, exhausted and drowsy and over the moon, and I cannot help but wonder how different this morning would be if Erik hadn’t been the one to buy Faye’s croissant. I cannot help but wonder if this is the first day of the rest of my life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

363. “Academia was nothing but a bunch of busy people running around busily.”

— Ali Hazelwood

364. “Other people’s approval is a powerful drug. Lucky me, I never got the chance to develop an addiction.”

— Ali Hazelwood

365. “Oh, Levi, Levi. I can be fearless. I can be as fearless and honest as you are. If you will teach me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

366. “Come closer,” he orders. Lukas stopped a step behind me. I turn and frown up at him. “Why?” “Because I just asked you to, Scarlett.”

— Ali Hazelwood

367. “I don’t know if this is a date,” he says, serious, “but if it isn’t, will you go on one with me?” I smile so wide, my cheeks nearly hurt.”

— Ali Hazelwood

368. “I’m sorry about the socks, by the way.” She winced. “I know it’s a controversial topic.”

— Ali Hazelwood

369. “Apparently, weeping silently was her new baseline state.”

— Ali Hazelwood

370. “My voice breaks on the last word, and now I’m crying. Not full-on bawling like when I watch The Lion King or the first ten minutes of Up, but quiet, sparse, implacable tears that I have no hope of stopping.”

— Ali Hazelwood

371. “Somewhere along the way your wires got crossed. Your brain decided that you’re not worth people’s time and effort, and that if you ask for anything, they won’t just say no, they’ll also leave you.” He says it matter-of-fact, like he’s Archimedes of Syracuse repeating his findings about upward buoyant forces to the acropolis for the tenth time. “That’s not how love works, Elsie. But don’t worry for now. I’ll show you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

372. “I’m not being needlessly dramatic when I say that it was a whole thing. On Facebook. On the news, including 60 Minutes. Even Oprah talked about it – the Jonathan Smith-Turner Affair, the Theoretical Hoax, the Physics Scandal. Einstein rolled in his grave. Newton puked up his apple. Feynman quietly stepped in a tank of liquid helium.”

— Ali Hazelwood

373. “Sometimes somethings are so pretty, they make everything else a little less impressive...”

— Ali Hazelwood

374. “And as far as crevasses go, it’s a good one to get stuck in.”

— Ali Hazelwood

375. “When you were three, I had to drive you to the ER because you stuck a purple crayon up your butthole. That should be your biggest regret.”

— Ali Hazelwood

376. “Zoom into 1906, and that’s where you’ll find the real moral of this tale: trusting people to stick around is a bad idea. One way or another they’ll end up gone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

377. “Dr. Deol about his son’s third-grade teacher, who still thinks Pluto is a planet; nod as Dr. Sader sips on a Capri Sun while rambling about dark matter being not a clump but a smoothly distributed wavy superfluid. It’s going well, I tell myself.”

— Ali Hazelwood

378. “Way to make me feel excluded, bitches.” “Darcy,” we all say at once, all in the same disapproving tone. “What?” She shrugs from the door. “I thought we now just sprinkled the word generously in conversation. For seasoning.”

— Ali Hazelwood

379. “I could tell when you didn’t know I existed, and I could tell when you became aware of me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

380. “She may have robbed him of his peace of mind, but he still wanted her to have hers. One more fault to add to the humbling business of falling in love, he supposed.”

— Ali Hazelwood

381. “All of these things you listed, a dog could do.”

— Ali Hazelwood

382. “As long as you don’t let anyone get to you before I do, Aethelthryth.” “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll always save myself for you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

383. “I love you, Rue. You are the only chance there is.”

— Ali Hazelwood

384. “He’d wash her car, read her a book, sit here outside her door and just make sure she was safe and protected.”

— Ali Hazelwood

385. “You just wanted her to understand the hurt she caused. Maybe get a nice apology.” “How did you know?” “I just know you. A disgustingly unpetty person.”

— Ali Hazelwood

386. “Mal, our histories are not made of ifs and buts.”

— Ali Hazelwood

387. “I’m not, though. I have a roommate I get along with. And lots of friends. And colleagues who – ” “I don’t doubt that. You can still be lonely.”

— Ali Hazelwood

388. “This is my life, after all: a flaming ball of scorching, untimely awkwardness.”

— Ali Hazelwood

389. “I want to be with you, on you, every second of every day. I think – I dream of crazy things. I want you to marry me tomorrow so you can go on my health insurance.”

— Ali Hazelwood

390. “One of the people visiting town is a biologist from Stanford. He’s as tall as Jack – an impossibility, I thought, especially within the nerd community.”

— Ali Hazelwood

391. “Galaxies pass through his black eyes, and I wonder whether this second could last a century. Whether the universe could be just me and him, understanding each other on a forever loop.”

— Ali Hazelwood

392. “Nolan stares like I’m the center of gravity of the room, like nothing else ever existed but me in all of space and time.”

— Ali Hazelwood

393. “So, you and Rue are taking care of it?” He gives me an appalled look. “I would never ask Rue to talk on the phone with someone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

394. “Vampires suck – no pun intended –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

395. “Are you anticipating curing me with your magic cock?” That was exactly what he’d been hoping, of course.”

— Ali Hazelwood

396. “If you eavesdrop, you shouldn’t half-ass it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

397. “Clearly he’s decided that I’m after the Smith trust funds, like some skank from the Dynasty reboot.”

— Ali Hazelwood

398. “Adam – stop,” she pleaded, and for a moment he just nuzzled his face against her folds like he had no intention of doing any such thing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

399. “I’m twenty-two.”

— Ali Hazelwood

400. “You could be my entire world. If you let me.”

— Ali Hazelwood