Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2026 Update)
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151. “Bold of you to assume that the real me is my best hand.” That stupid, crooked half smile is back. “Foolish of you to think it isn’t.”

— Ali Hazelwood

152. “Science. Science is where it’s at.”

— Ali Hazelwood

153. “He’s a way better person than I’ll ever be.”

— Ali Hazelwood

154. “Adam could convince her to let him take care of her. He doesn’t want anything in return. She doesn’t need to fall for him, because he loves her enough for the both of them.”

— Ali Hazelwood

155. “I want to try them all. All the kisses Levi Ward is capable of, I want to sample them like fine wine.”

— Ali Hazelwood

156. “Grad school was a mistake, but now it’s too late to back out of it because my self-worth is unbreakably tied to my academic performance, and what would even be left of me if I decide to drop out?”

— Ali Hazelwood

157. “Have you considered that maybe you’re already the way I want you to be? That maybe there are no signals because nothing needs to be changed.”

— Ali Hazelwood

158. “Sadie, I know you like this guy a lot. I know that if he does decide that he doesn’t want you in his life it’s going to hurt, and that you’re tempted to preemptively pull back to protect yourself. But if you don’t at least give him a chance to choose you, you’ll lose him for sure.”

— Ali Hazelwood

159. “It’s not my fault if I’ve spent a sizable chunk of my formative years in Italy, where time is but a polite suggestion.”

— Ali Hazelwood

160. “Maybe I overestimated my flirting skills.”

— Ali Hazelwood

161. “Hypothesis: People who cross me will come to regret it.”

— Ali Hazelwood

162. “They’re young. Their frontal lobes are not fully developed yet.”

— Ali Hazelwood

163. “Is everything okay?” He said it looking into her eyes, in a low, intimate tone. Like they were alone. Like Anh was not there. He said it in a way that should have made Olive uncomfortable but didn’t. For some inexplicable reason his presence in the room soothed her, even though until a second ago she had been freaking out. Perhaps two different types of unease neutralized each other?”

— Ali Hazelwood

164. “I turn and – it’s Jack. Of course it’s Jack. The electron to my nucleus, constantly spinning around me in the most annoying of orbits.”

— Ali Hazelwood

165. “I’ve never been surer of anything. Except maybe cell theory.”

— Ali Hazelwood

166. “Caring what others think is a lot of work, and – with a handful of exceptions – I’m not a huge fan of work.”

— Ali Hazelwood

167. “Impossible. Improbable. Inconceivable. Just like everything else about Adam and Olive.”

— Ali Hazelwood

168. “There hasn’t been anyone else.” His jaw tenses and works. “Since the first moment I saw you. Since the first moment I talked to you and made an ass of myself, there hasn’t been anyone else.”

— Ali Hazelwood

169. “He studies my face for several moments, like he cannot stop on the cover or the first page, like he needs to read the whole book every time.”

— Ali Hazelwood

170. “We are our nervous systems, the complex combination of billions of neurons firing in distinctive patterns. What’s more exciting than spending my life figuring out what a little chunk of these neurons can accomplish?”

— Ali Hazelwood

171. “He’d clearly never seen a rom-com or read a romance novel in his life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

172. “Adam Carlsen was handsome. Adam Carlsen, with his long nose and wavy hair, with his full lips and angular face that shouldn’t have fit together but somehow did, was really, really, really handsome. Olive had no clue why it hadn’t registered before, or why what made her realize it was him putting on a plain black shirt.”

— Ali Hazelwood

173. “You’re not just anyone.”

— Ali Hazelwood

174. “I like you very much, Mara. I like talking to you. I like watching you do yoga. I like the way you always smell like sunscreen. I like how you manage to say pretty much whatever you want while still being unbelievably kind. I like being in this house with you, and everything we do in here.”

— Ali Hazelwood

175. “Her heart may be broken, but her brain was doing just fine.”

— Ali Hazelwood

176. “I need a nap. I need a seven-year nap.”

— Ali Hazelwood

177. “He’s so tall, I have to consciously lift up my chin to meet his eyes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

178. “Just checking in. Making sure you’ve eaten enough.” I roll my eyes. “I did. Thanks, Daddy.”

— Ali Hazelwood

179. “The battery was almost dead, probably because she had forgotten to turn off the recording after her talk.”

— Ali Hazelwood

180. “Oh my God, are you trying to get citizenship? Are they deporting you back to Canada because we’ve been sharing Malcolm’s Netflix password? Tell them we didn’t know it was a federal crime. No, wait, don’t tell them anything until we get you a lawyer. And, Ol, I will marry you. I’ll get you a green card and you won’t have to –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

181. “He says it–you–like I am a remarkable and important thing. The most precious data point; his favorite town; the loveliest, starkest Martian landscape. Even though I pushed him away, over and over, he still came in a rocking boat in the middle of the coldest ocean on planet Earth, just to keep me warm.”

— Ali Hazelwood

182. “He kisses like he’s already inside me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

183. “He’d been going on and on about this amazing girl for years.”

— Ali Hazelwood

184. “Because you have been secretly pining for years?” He meets my eyes squarely. “I don’t know that there was anything secret about that.”

— Ali Hazelwood

185. “But the end does happen. Unavoidably. All relationships between living beings end somewhere, somehow. That’s just the way it is. One party dies, or is called away by other biological needs. Emotions are transient by nature. They’re temporary states brought on by neurophysiological changes that aren’t meant to be long-lasting. The nervous system must revert back to homeostasis. All relationships associated with affective events are destined to end.”

— Ali Hazelwood

186. “And I’ve been scared, scared like never before, that I’d hurt you.” He lifts his hand. Curves it around my cheek. “That I’d left you in some – any kind of pain. That I couldn’t make amends. Which, let me tell you, is no fun when you know in your lizard brain that you’re about five minutes from falling in love with someone.” He closes his eyes. “Maybe past. Can’t really tell.”

— Ali Hazelwood

187. “Adam: Think I can smuggle this on the plane? She didn’t need to be told that she was grinning at her phone like an idiot. Olive: Well, TSA is notoriously incompetent. Olive: Though maybe not that incompetent? Adam: Too bad. Adam: Wish you were here, then.”

— Ali Hazelwood

188. “Science, I tell myself in my inner Jeff Goldblum voice, finds a way.”

— Ali Hazelwood

189. “The electron to my nucleus, constantly spinning around me in the most annoying of orbits. He’s.”

— Ali Hazelwood

190. “I want to buy her flowers, food, books.”

— Ali Hazelwood

191. “Everyone likes tall, broody, sullen hunks with genius IQs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

192. “My favourite colour must be green, after all.”

— Ali Hazelwood

193. “More material for my Title IX complaint.”

— Ali Hazelwood

194. “I need to be certain that you don’t feel like you have to be some... fantasy lay whose only focus is my pleasure. That you’re in a place where you’re able to acknowledge and articulate your needs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

195. “Children’s librarian seemed like a great fake profession. It’s been fun scouring online forums in search of charming anecdotes. “Today I found three Goldfish crackers in our best copy of Matilda,” I say with a smile. Or at least, Reddit user iluvbigbooks did.”

— Ali Hazelwood

196. “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.’ ” Holden popped a bit of fortune cookie in his mouth, blinking at the message inside. “Is that shade?” He looked around, indignant. “Did this fortune cookie just throw shade at me?”

— Ali Hazelwood

197. “I call them the Quasimotoes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

198. “Fun fact about me: I am a fairly mellow person, but I happen to have a very violent fantasy life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

199. “A bit theatrical, not really my thing, but I wasn’t going to complain, not when it meant someone wanted to stand by me for good. So I looked him in the eyes, choked back the tears, and said yes.”

— Ali Hazelwood

200. “The bar’s so low, you could pick it up and beat him with it.”

— Ali Hazelwood