Top 450 Ali Hazelwood Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “He gives me a confused, curious look. Like he knows that I’m complicated, but he doesn’t mind. Like he’d rather spend the rest of his life studying an inch of me than discovering the mysteries behind the universe.”

— Ali Hazelwood

302. “Who would I even be without my burning need to correct people who say that humans use only 10 percent of their brain?”

— Ali Hazelwood

303. “You seemed busy, Didn’t want to interfere.” I was replying to an urgent email.” I doubt it. I think he was writing the next great American novel.”

— Ali Hazelwood

304. “Somewhere along the way your wires got crossed. Your brain decided that you are not worth people’ time and effort and if you ask for anything, they won’t just say no, they’ll also leave you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

305. “His cheek curved. “You are such a smart-ass.”

— Ali Hazelwood

306. “I wanted to stop feeling as though I were rotting in my own aimlessness, and I wanted my head to stop spinning all the time.”

— Ali Hazelwood

307. “Yeah, but there are other computational modelers in the department. And I’d like to eventually graduate, ideally without sobbing in a bathroom stall after each committee meeting.” He glared at her. Olive shrugged. “No offense. I’m a simple girl, with simple needs.”

— Ali Hazelwood

308. “I’ve long learned that engagin with basement-dwelling stemlords who come online looking for a fight is never a good idea – the last thing I want is to provide free entertainment for their fragile egos. If they want to blow off some steam, they can buy a gym membership or play third-person-shooter games. Like normal people.”

— Ali Hazelwood

309. “A pause. “You are a brilliant engineer who knows the Premier League stats of the past three decades off the top of your head. Physically, you are the uncanny combination of every single feature I’ve ever found attractive – no, I will not expand on that. And you saved me on your phone as Corporate Thor, even after I gave you my full name.”

— Ali Hazelwood

310. “I leave with a promise to meet her for drinks next week when her friend Bee’s in town.”

— Ali Hazelwood

311. “I had a vision of your future in academia.” Olive wrapped her arms around Anh. “What vision?” “You were a high-powered researcher, surrounded by students who hung on your every word. And you were answering a multiparagraph email with an uncapitalized no.” “Nice. Was I happy?” “Of course not.” Anh snorted. “It’s academia.”

— Ali Hazelwood

312. “What you have now, it will have to be enough.”

— Ali Hazelwood

313. “I know Levi is supposed to be my point of contact, but he’s currently sitting on three unanswered emails. I’m not sure how to get him to reply. Use Comic Sans? Write in primary colors?”

— Ali Hazelwood

314. “Bee has a useless parasympathetic nervous system, which is an endless source of entertainment,” Levi explains to Penny. “Excuse me.” I scowl. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of stable blood pressure.”

— Ali Hazelwood

315. “I step out with a small wave and notice two things: he’s staring hard at his feet, and his left hand is a tight fist at his side.”

— Ali Hazelwood

316. “For real though, Amber says, Glenn and I can see everything going on in this hallway. I thought I’d intervene before you got pregnant.”

— Ali Hazelwood

317. “It’s okay, Olive. Breathe.”

— Ali Hazelwood

318. “It sounds sketchy. Like he’s trying to lure me to a secondary location.”

— Ali Hazelwood

319. “I laugh again, exhausted and drowsy and over the moon, and I cannot help but wonder how different this morning would be if Erik hadn’t been the one to buy Faye’s croissant. I cannot help but wonder if this is the first day of the rest of my life.”

— Ali Hazelwood

320. “Academia was nothing but a bunch of busy people running around busily.”

— Ali Hazelwood

321. “You just had to go and make me fall for you, she thought, blinking against his skin. You absolute ass.”

— Ali Hazelwood

322. “You know what your condition is? It’s called – ” “Not a condition, we’ve been over – ” “ – avoidant attachment. You’re pathologically independent and don’t let others come close out of fear that they’ll eventually leave you. You have erected a fence around you – the Bee-fence – and are terrified of anything resembling emotional –.”

— Ali Hazelwood

323. “Oh, Levi, Levi. I can be fearless. I can be as fearless and honest as you are. If you will teach me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

324. “I’m sorry about the socks, by the way.” She winced. “I know it’s a controversial topic.”

— Ali Hazelwood

325. “Apparently, weeping silently was her new baseline state.”

— Ali Hazelwood

326. “My voice breaks on the last word, and now I’m crying. Not full-on bawling like when I watch The Lion King or the first ten minutes of Up, but quiet, sparse, implacable tears that I have no hope of stopping.”

— Ali Hazelwood

327. “Somewhere along the way your wires got crossed. Your brain decided that you’re not worth people’s time and effort, and that if you ask for anything, they won’t just say no, they’ll also leave you.” He says it matter-of-fact, like he’s Archimedes of Syracuse repeating his findings about upward buoyant forces to the acropolis for the tenth time. “That’s not how love works, Elsie. But don’t worry for now. I’ll show you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

328. “I don’t know if this is a date,” he says, serious, “but if it isn’t, will you go on one with me?” I smile so wide, my cheeks nearly hurt.”

— Ali Hazelwood

329. “It seemed like a lose-lose, and then lose again, and then lose some more, type of situation. It seemed insane.”

— Ali Hazelwood

330. “What will I do with all this knowledge I have of his likes and dislikes? This knowledge of him? Where will it go once he’s not in my life anymore?”

— Ali Hazelwood

331. “For the life of me, I can’t remember a better activity than staying at home in my pj’s and hanging out with my roommate.”

— Ali Hazelwood

332. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Or makes you resent your pathological inability to set boundaries, one or the two.”

— Ali Hazelwood

333. “Adam – stop,” she pleaded, and for a moment he just nuzzled his face against her folds like he had no intention of doing any such thing.”

— Ali Hazelwood

334. “I’m twenty-two.”

— Ali Hazelwood

335. “The oldies radio station plays pop songs that I remember from the early 2000s, and I stare at the yellow glow of the streetlights, wondering if I, too, am an oldie.”

— Ali Hazelwood

336. “You could be my entire world. If you let me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

337. “It looks good. As in, really good. You were probably one of the most handsome men I’d ever talked to last week, but now you look even better. Not that I care about these things. I don’t care at all. I rarely notice guys, and I’m not sure why I’m noticing you, or your hair, or your clothes, or how tall and broad you are. I really don’t get it. I never care. Usually. Ugh.”

— Ali Hazelwood

338. “The shape oh his lips under hers was like an old song, familiar and easy.”

— Ali Hazelwood

339. “His hair is messy, and bright, and beautiful. Not nearly as disgustingly hat-squished as mine, an inexplicable phenomenon that should be the object of several research studies.”

— Ali Hazelwood

340. “I lean my forehead against the chilly glass of the window, feeling an odd sense of isolation, as though I’m disconnected from the entire world, swaddled in a muffled white cocoon.”

— Ali Hazelwood

341. “No. I don’t want to fake–break up.”

— Ali Hazelwood

342. “But you could room with me.”

— Ali Hazelwood

343. “You just had to go and make me fall for you.”

— Ali Hazelwood

344. “Since I’ve met you exactly five times so far, and during two of those you suffered from some diabetes-related complication that required my help.” “Eight more and I get a free sub?” He snorts a laugh. “With this level of self-sabotaging, you don’t need outside help.”

— Ali Hazelwood

345. “I love Wookiees so much. Best aliens ever.”

— Ali Hazelwood

346. “Dude, dates are amazing.” “No, they’re not.” “Yes. Try wrapping them in bacon.”

— Ali Hazelwood

347. “I’ve got a spare,” Jack says, finishing in twenty seconds a parallel parking job that would have taken me twenty minutes and my whole dignity.”

— Ali Hazelwood

348. “Please don’t build an atomic bomb.” “Don’t tell me what to do.” He sighs. “I’ll make room for the plutonium in the cheese drawer.”

— Ali Hazelwood

349. “Maybe my brain is broken.” -Olive.”

— Ali Hazelwood

350. “And yet it was as if the space she was in, the whole campus, the entire city was transformed by knowing that he was back.”

— Ali Hazelwood