Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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451. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

452. “Thing is,” Chuck continued, “without the dish, a signal would have to be really strong – ” “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

453. “My cart is a pain in the ass to control, but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. I named him Trigger.”

— Andy Weir

454. “That’s really the limiting factor to life support. Not the amount of oxygen you bring with you, but the amount of CO2 you can remove.”

— Andy Weir

455. “It’ll keep you from puking all over our nice, clean cockpit.”

— Andy Weir

456. “I might have been on the run for my life, but I wasn’t willing to go without e-mail.”

— Andy Weir

457. “Social discomfort,” he says. “No talk.”

— Andy Weir

458. “Call me crazy, but I didn’t want the drill explosively launched at my face.”

— Andy Weir

459. “Well,” he said. “It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa.” “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said. “Wow,” I said. “I know New Zealand is pretty cool but – ” “And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,” Redell said. “There it is.”

— Andy Weir

460. “I could see the Soyuz through the window. Old technology, to be sure, but easily the most reliable launch system ever made.”

— Andy Weir

461. “No. You no can die. You are friend.”

— Andy Weir

462. “All that hydrogen had met the oxygen at high temperature and they’d had a brief chat.”

— Andy Weir

463. “There’s plenty of heat, thanks to the RTG. I just needed to get it evenly spread out. For once, entropy was on my side.”

— Andy Weir

464. “Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.”

— Andy Weir

465. “So far, I think it’s been working. But who knows? I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

— Andy Weir

466. “Ready for depress?” Dale asked via the radio. “Pretty depressed, yeah,” I said. “Don’t joke around. Not with airlock procedures.” “Sheesh, you really suck the air out of the room, you know that?” “Jazz!”

— Andy Weir

467. “It wouldn’t be so bad if the MAV blew up. I wouldn’t know what hit me, but if I miss the intercept, I’ll just float around in space until I run out of air. I have a contingency plan for that. I’ll drop the oxygen mixture to zero and breathe pure nitrogen until I suffocate. It wouldn’t feel bad. The lungs don’t have the ability to sense lack of oxygen. I’d just get tired, fall asleep, then die.”

— Andy Weir

468. “She knew right then no one’s mind would change. They were going back to Mars.”

— Andy Weir

469. “The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.”

— Andy Weir

470. “Why not? It should be pretty damned obvious why not! They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

471. “They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

472. “I don’t have time for this. I have an alien thingy to catch.”

— Andy Weir

473. “It’s important to vary your profanities. If you use the same one too often it loses strength.”

— Andy Weir

474. “After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission. That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”

— Andy Weir

475. “Then again, my students all have eyes and they were still amazed when I told them “x-rays,” “microwaves,” “Wi-Fi,” and “purple” were all just wavelengths of light.”

— Andy Weir

476. “There’s nothing better than knowing you’re going to outwit the reader.”

— Andy Weir

477. “There are probably a thousand things that led to them being sapient and stuff.”

— Andy Weir

478. “It just has to last long enough for me to get to safety. And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue.”

— Andy Weir

479. “Point is, the process worked!”

— Andy Weir

480. “Three comm systems, actually. I guess they aren’t taking any chances, what with my habit of being nearby when radios break.”

— Andy Weir

481. “I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”

— Andy Weir

482. “With both of the trailer’s airlock doors open I was able to get the first battery in. After playing real-life Tetris for a while I found a way to get the first battery out of the way enough to let the second battery in.”

— Andy Weir

483. “What? Would I do a ridiculous amount of relativistic math to calculate our relative velocity at any given moment as perceived by my inertial reference frame and then do Lorentz transformations to figure out when the light from his engines will drop out of the Petrovascope’s perception range? Just so I know how much longer I can see my friend in the distance? Wouldn’t that be kind of pathetic? Yeah.”

— Andy Weir

484. “I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’. I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

— Andy Weir

485. “The area around the MAV looks like the set of Sanford and Son. I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

486. “It’s a good thing those numbers were right. If they hadn’t been, there would have been some serious scrambling when the orbital insertion went wrong. Maybe even some dying.”

— Andy Weir

487. “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

488. “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

— Andy Weir

489. “Martinez was first out of his bunk. An air force man, he could match Lewis’s navy schedule with ease.”

— Andy Weir

490. “Life is amazingly tenacious. They don’t want to die any more than I do.”

— Andy Weir

491. “There is no “stationary” in a solar system. You’re always moving around something.”

— Andy Weir

492. “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

— Andy Weir

493. “Got to get that sweet, sweet energy if you’re going to be a life-form.”

— Andy Weir

494. “There’s no more powerful tool for safety than communication.”

— Andy Weir

495. “What’s next on your reading list? Discover your next great read! Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author. Sign up now.”

— Andy Weir

496. “Mitch poked the table with his finger. “They deserve to know. You think Commander Lewis can’t handle the truth?”

— Andy Weir

497. “Now I’m in a rougher neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where you keep your rover doors locked and never come to a complete stop at intersections.”

— Andy Weir

498. “Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

499. “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

— Andy Weir

500. “I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town.”

— Andy Weir