Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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451. “The rover was not so lucky. It continued tumbling down the hill, bouncing the traveler around like clothes in a dryer. After twenty meters, the soft powder gave way to more solid sand and the rover shuddered to a halt. It had come to rest on its side. The valves leading to the now- missing hoses had detected the sudden pressure drop and closed. The pressure seal was not breached. The traveler was alive, for now.”

— Andy Weir

452. “Despite what you see in action movies and comics, bigger really is better. A six-foot man just has too much of an edge over two slim women.”

— Andy Weir

453. “Human waste has pathogens in it that, you guessed it, infect humans.”

— Andy Weir

454. “It’s all part of the life-cycle of an economy. First it’s lawless capitalism until that starts to impede growth. Next comes regulation, law enforcement, and taxes. After that: public benefits and entitlements. Then, finally, overexpenditure and collapse.”

— Andy Weir

455. “The walls were lined with thick plastic sheets, all held together with some kind of special tape.”

— Andy Weir

456. “Got to love computers. They do all the thinking for you so you don’t have to.”

— Andy Weir

457. “The questions are many: How long can he last? How much food does he have? Can Ares 4 rescue him? How will we talk to him? The answers to these questions are not what we want to hear. “I can’t promise we’ll succeed in rescuing him, but I can promise this: The entire focus of NASA will be to bring Mark Watney home. This will be our overriding and singular obsession until he is either back on Earth or confirmed dead on Mars.”

— Andy Weir

458. “I can create the O2 easily enough. It takes twenty hours for the MAV fuel plant to fill its 10-liter tank with CO2. The oxygenator can turn it into O2, then the atmospheric regulator will see the O2 content in the Hab is high, and pull it out of the air, storing it in the main O2 tanks. They’ll fill up, so I’ll have to transfer O2 over to the rovers’ tanks and even the space suit tanks as necessary.”

— Andy Weir

459. “The Russian spoke for the first time. “Actually, my friend, we do.”

— Andy Weir

460. “I envy one thing about Earthers – they get much faster internet.”

— Andy Weir

461. “That’s how justice works around here. We don’t have jails or fines. If you commit a serious crime, we exile you to Earth. For everything else, there’s Rudy.”

— Andy Weir

462. “It’s all good to go. No problems that I can see.”

— Andy Weir

463. “The battery was a lithium thionyl chloride non-rechargeable. I figured that out from some subtle clues: the shape of the connection points, the thickness of the insulation, and the fact that it had “LiSOCl2 NON-RCHRG” written on it.”

— Andy Weir

464. “Now on to my next task: sitting around with nothing to do for twelve hours. I better get started!”

— Andy Weir

465. “It’s important to vary your profanities. If you use the same one too often it loses strength.”

— Andy Weir

466. “After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission. That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”

— Andy Weir

467. “Then again, my students all have eyes and they were still amazed when I told them “x-rays,” “microwaves,” “Wi-Fi,” and “purple” were all just wavelengths of light.”

— Andy Weir

468. “There’s nothing better than knowing you’re going to outwit the reader.”

— Andy Weir

469. “There are probably a thousand things that led to them being sapient and stuff.”

— Andy Weir

470. “It just has to last long enough for me to get to safety. And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue.”

— Andy Weir

471. “Point is, the process worked!”

— Andy Weir

472. “Three comm systems, actually. I guess they aren’t taking any chances, what with my habit of being nearby when radios break.”

— Andy Weir

473. “I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”

— Andy Weir

474. “With both of the trailer’s airlock doors open I was able to get the first battery in. After playing real-life Tetris for a while I found a way to get the first battery out of the way enough to let the second battery in.”

— Andy Weir

475. “I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’. I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

— Andy Weir

476. “The area around the MAV looks like the set of Sanford and Son. I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

477. “It’s a good thing those numbers were right. If they hadn’t been, there would have been some serious scrambling when the orbital insertion went wrong. Maybe even some dying.”

— Andy Weir

478. “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

479. “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

— Andy Weir

480. “Martinez was first out of his bunk. An air force man, he could match Lewis’s navy schedule with ease.”

— Andy Weir

481. “Life is amazingly tenacious. They don’t want to die any more than I do.”

— Andy Weir

482. “There is no “stationary” in a solar system. You’re always moving around something.”

— Andy Weir

483. “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

— Andy Weir

484. “Got to get that sweet, sweet energy if you’re going to be a life-form.”

— Andy Weir

485. “There’s no more powerful tool for safety than communication.”

— Andy Weir

486. “What’s next on your reading list? Discover your next great read! Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author. Sign up now.”

— Andy Weir

487. “Mitch poked the table with his finger. “They deserve to know. You think Commander Lewis can’t handle the truth?”

— Andy Weir

488. “Now I’m in a rougher neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where you keep your rover doors locked and never come to a complete stop at intersections.”

— Andy Weir

489. “Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

490. “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

— Andy Weir

491. “I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town.”

— Andy Weir

492. “Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.”

— Andy Weir

493. “So far, I think it’s been working. But who knows? I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

— Andy Weir

494. “Ready for depress?” Dale asked via the radio. “Pretty depressed, yeah,” I said. “Don’t joke around. Not with airlock procedures.” “Sheesh, you really suck the air out of the room, you know that?” “Jazz!”

— Andy Weir

495. “It wouldn’t be so bad if the MAV blew up. I wouldn’t know what hit me, but if I miss the intercept, I’ll just float around in space until I run out of air. I have a contingency plan for that. I’ll drop the oxygen mixture to zero and breathe pure nitrogen until I suffocate. It wouldn’t feel bad. The lungs don’t have the ability to sense lack of oxygen. I’d just get tired, fall asleep, then die.”

— Andy Weir

496. “She knew right then no one’s mind would change. They were going back to Mars.”

— Andy Weir

497. “The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.”

— Andy Weir

498. “Why not? It should be pretty damned obvious why not! They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

499. “They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

500. “I don’t have time for this. I have an alien thingy to catch.”

— Andy Weir