Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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451. “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

452. “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

— Andy Weir

453. “Martinez was first out of his bunk. An air force man, he could match Lewis’s navy schedule with ease.”

— Andy Weir

454. “I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’. I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

— Andy Weir

455. “The area around the MAV looks like the set of Sanford and Son. I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

456. “But by the end of it I had a plan. And like all good plans, it required a crazy Ukrainian guy.”

— Andy Weir

457. “There is no “stationary” in a solar system. You’re always moving around something.”

— Andy Weir

458. “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

— Andy Weir

459. “Got to get that sweet, sweet energy if you’re going to be a life-form.”

— Andy Weir

460. “Life is amazingly tenacious. They don’t want to die any more than I do.”

— Andy Weir

461. “Three days off the painkillers and I’m a lot smarter than I was. At least he understands that much – I wasn’t just some stupid human. I was a human with enhanced stupidity.”

— Andy Weir

462. “What’s next on your reading list? Discover your next great read! Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author. Sign up now.”

— Andy Weir

463. “Mitch poked the table with his finger. “They deserve to know. You think Commander Lewis can’t handle the truth?”

— Andy Weir

464. “There’s no more powerful tool for safety than communication.”

— Andy Weir

465. “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

— Andy Weir

466. “I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town.”

— Andy Weir

467. “All religions are right in their own way.”

— Andy Weir

468. “Now I’m in a rougher neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where you keep your rover doors locked and never come to a complete stop at intersections.”

— Andy Weir

469. “Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

470. “She looked to the ceiling. “Between their financial base and physical enforcers, they’ll own the city. Think Chicago in the 1920s, but a hundred times worse. I’ll be powerless.”

— Andy Weir

471. “A frumpy Midwestern woman giggled at her window and turned to me. “Isn’t it amazing?! We’re on the moon!”

— Andy Weir

472. “During the trip I’ll need to breathe, eat, and drink.”

— Andy Weir

473. “Why doesn’t Rosco just go to the Duke farm and arrest them when they’re not in the car?”

— Andy Weir

474. “I have to assume friendly intent at this point. I mean, they’re going out of their way to say hi and be accommodating. Besides, if there is hostile intent, what would I do about it? Die. That’s what I’d do. I’m a scientist, not Buck Rogers.”

— Andy Weir

475. “You’re stranded on Mars and you can only take one book with you. What is it? A. It’s always hard to pick one “favorite book.” Growing up, I loved early Robert Heinlein books most of all. So if I had to pick one, I’d go with Tunnel in the Sky. I do love a good survival story.”

— Andy Weir

476. “I was approximately as critical as toilet paper.”

— Andy Weir

477. “Back on Earth, universities and governments are willing to pay millions to get their hands on Mars rocks. I’m using them as ballast.”

— Andy Weir

478. “It was great! Straight-A student. Hanging around nerdy guys too scared to try anything. No wild side at all. You were every father’s dream daughter.” “Thanks, Dad, I – ” “But then you got on a giant bomb that blasted you to Mars. And I mean that literally.”

— Andy Weir

479. “Hell, if we learned anything from “The Phantom Menace” it’s this: Never start a sci-fi story with a description of complex macroeconomics.”

— Andy Weir

480. “Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney.”

— Andy Weir

481. “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

482. “Broadly speaking, the human brain is a collection of software hacks compiled into a single, somehow-functional unit. Each “feature” was added as a random mutation that solved some specific problem to increase our odds of survival. In short, the human brain is a mess.”

— Andy Weir

483. “Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years!”

— Andy Weir

484. “I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

485. “So lab-coated geeks got together and decided Mars’s elevation zero is wherever the air pressure is 610.5 pascals.”

— Andy Weir

486. “One thing I have in abundance here are bags. They’re not much different than kitchen trash bags, though I’m sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.”

— Andy Weir

487. “It occurs to me: Now that I might live, I have to be more careful about logging embarrassing moments. How do I delete log entries?”

— Andy Weir

488. “Don’t worry about it.” I climbed out of the basin and dropped four meters to the ground. I pulled a chair toward me, spun it around, and straddled it. I rested my chin on my palm and got lost in thought. Trond sidled over. “So?” “Thinking,” I said. “Do women know how sexy they look when they sit like that?” “Of course.” “I knew it!” “Trying to concentrate.” “Sorry.”

— Andy Weir

489. “First off, Dad, it’s not petty vandalism. It’s extreme vandalism.”

— Andy Weir

490. “I panted in my suit and suppressed the urge to puke. That was way the hell more exertion than I’m built for. An oxygen-deprivation headache took root. It’d be with me for a few hours, at least. I’d managed to get altitude sickness on the moon.”

— Andy Weir

491. “You may wonder why I’m not in the Hab right now. Because I fled in terror, that’s why! And I’m not sure what the hell to do next.”

— Andy Weir

492. “Twelve kids raise their claws.”

— Andy Weir

493. “When European mariners first came across Asian mariners, no one was surprised they both used sails.”

— Andy Weir

494. “The computer finishes its boot process and brings up a screen I’ve never seen before. I can tell it means trouble, because the word “TROUBLE” is in large type across the top.”

— Andy Weir

495. “Were you followed?” “Of course,” I said. “And I led them straight to you. Turns out I’m not very bright.” “Smartass.” “Dumbass.”

— Andy Weir

496. “YOU believe in God, Venkat?” Mitch asked. “Sure, lots of ’em,” Venkat said. “I’m Hindu.”

— Andy Weir

497. “So they don’t know we can help them,” Guo Ming said. “If we decide not to help, no one will know we could have.”

— Andy Weir

498. “Important note: Do not pee in a graywater-reuse shower.”

— Andy Weir

499. “As the ship soared, the open OMS ports took their toll. The crew rocked in their couches as the craft shook violently. Martinez.”

— Andy Weir

500. “Still, their well-maintained air shelter and regular fire drills had saved a lot of lives. Factories can be rebuilt. People can’t. It was a win.”

— Andy Weir