Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2025 Update)
Page 10 of 10

451. “Jesus, what a complicated process,” Venkat said. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

452. “So they don’t know we can help them,” Guo Ming said. “If we decide not to help, no one will know we could have.”

— Andy Weir

453. “It just has to last long enough for me to get to safety. And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue.”

— Andy Weir

454. “If we do this,” Vogel said, “it would be over one thousand days of space. This is enough space for a life. I do not need to return.”

— Andy Weir

455. “But, you know, other than that edge case, there’s no reason.”

— Andy Weir

456. “Hurray for standardized valve systems!”

— Andy Weir

457. “It’s a good thing those numbers were right. If they hadn’t been, there would have been some serious scrambling when the orbital insertion went wrong. Maybe even some dying.”

— Andy Weir

458. “Nobody at NASA thought, “Hey, let’s allow a fatal lack of oxygen that will make everyone drop dead!”

— Andy Weir

459. “I was approximately as critical as toilet paper.”

— Andy Weir

460. “But I did wake up, and the main computer showed the slight rise in CO2 I had predicted. Looks like I’ll live another sol. Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

— Andy Weir

461. “They lay in silence, strapped to their couches and ready for launch. Beck looked at Watney’s empty couch and saw Vogel doing the same. Martinez ran a self-check on the nose cone OMS thrusters. They were no longer safe for use. He noted the malfunction in his log.”

— Andy Weir

462. “Well, I didn’t die.”

— Andy Weir

463. “I envy one thing about Earthers – they get much faster internet.”

— Andy Weir

464. “Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

465. “It’s the kids of today that’ll have to make the world of tomorrow work.”

— Andy Weir

466. “Vogel,” she radioed. “I need you to come back in and make a bomb.” “Um. Again, please, Commander?” Vogel replied. “A bomb,” Lewis confirmed. “You’re a chemist. Can you make a bomb out of stuff on board?”

— Andy Weir

467. “I mean, come on!” Morris said. “What are the odds?” Chuck turned to him. “One in three, based on empirical data. That’s pretty bad if you think about it.”

— Andy Weir

468. “I started the day with a potato. I washed it down with some Martian coffee. That’s my name for “hot water with a caffeine pill dissolved in it.”

— Andy Weir

469. “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

470. “Life is amazingly tenacious. They don’t want to die any more than I do.”

— Andy Weir

471. “Why does ‘Elrond’ mean ‘secret meeting’?” Annie asked. “Are we going to make a momentous decision?” Bruge Ng asked. “Exactly,” Venkat said. “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

— Andy Weir

472. “Everyone would die but me,” she said. “They’d all take pills and die. They’ll do it right away so they don’t use up any food. Commander Lewis picked me to be the survivor. She told me about it yesterday. I don’t think NASA knows about it.”

— Andy Weir

473. “It was great! Straight-A student. Hanging around nerdy guys too scared to try anything. No wild side at all. You were every father’s dream daughter.” “Thanks, Dad, I – ” “But then you got on a giant bomb that blasted you to Mars. And I mean that literally.”

— Andy Weir

474. “There’ll be a lot of H2O at the end, but I’ll be too dead to appreciate it.”

— Andy Weir

475. “We don’t have jails or fines. If you commit a serious crime, we exile you to Earth.”

— Andy Weir

476. “I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town.”

— Andy Weir

477. “At least it’s not the middle one that’s pointed up.”

— Andy Weir

478. “Will an alien math error doom my entire species?”

— Andy Weir

479. “Funny,” Venkat said. “Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you at your company. See how that works out.” “Oh no,” Mindy said. “I might lose my job as an interplanetary voyeur? I guess I’d have to use my master’s degree for something else.” “I remember when you were shy.” “I’m space paparazzi now. The attitude comes with the job.” “Yeah, yeah,” Venkat said. “Just send the e-mail.” “Already sent.”

— Andy Weir

480. “The computer’s not being unreasonable. If I can’t remember my own name, I probably shouldn’t be allowed into delicate areas of the ship.”

— Andy Weir

481. “I called it the “Bruce Banner Test.”

— Andy Weir

482. “Then again, my students all have eyes and they were still amazed when I told them “x-rays,” “microwaves,” “Wi-Fi,” and “purple” were all just wavelengths of light.”

— Andy Weir

483. “It’s the same one I used to power the drill that destroyed Pathfinder. I call it my “lucky cable.”

— Andy Weir

484. “Ready for depress?” Dale asked via the radio. “Pretty depressed, yeah,” I said. “Don’t joke around. Not with airlock procedures.” “Sheesh, you really suck the air out of the room, you know that?” “Jazz!”

— Andy Weir

485. “After setting up the solar panels today, I went for a little walk. I never left sight of the rover; the last thing I want to do is get lost on foot. But I couldn’t stomach crawling back into that cramped, smelly rat’s nest. Not right away. It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I’m the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years!”

— Andy Weir

486. “There’s one in each arm, one in each leg, one in my “gentlemen’s equipment,” and two that disappear under my thigh. I’m guessing one of them is up where the sun doesn’t shine.”

— Andy Weir

487. “I can’t blame it. Its whole purpose is to prevent the atmosphere from becoming lethal. Nobody at NASA thought, “Hey, let’s allow a fatal lack of oxygen that will make everyone drop dead!”

— Andy Weir

488. “That’s how justice works around here. We don’t have jails or fines. If you commit a serious crime, we exile you to Earth. For everything else, there’s Rudy.”

— Andy Weir

489. “During the trip I’ll need to breathe, eat, and drink.”

— Andy Weir

490. “Even a small static discharge would have led to my own private Hindenburg.”

— Andy Weir

491. “Why doesn’t Rosco just go to the Duke farm and arrest them when they’re not in the car?”

— Andy Weir

492. “I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”

— Andy Weir

493. “My cart is a pain in the ass to control, but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. I named him Trigger.”

— Andy Weir

494. “Evolution is extremely good at filling every nook in the ecosystem.”

— Andy Weir

495. “Why not? It should be pretty damned obvious why not! They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

496. “There is no “stationary” in a solar system. You’re always moving around something.”

— Andy Weir

497. “She knew right then no one’s mind would change. They were going back to Mars.”

— Andy Weir

498. “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

499. “The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.”

— Andy Weir

500. “Oh thank God. I can’t imagine explaining “sleep” to someone who had never heard of it. Hey, I’m going to fall unconscious and hallucinate for a while. By the way, I spend a third of my time doing this. And if I can’t do it for a while, I go insane and eventually die. No need for concern.”

— Andy Weir