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Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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Andy Weir Quote: “All of Earth is watching but powerless to help.”

451. “All of Earth is watching but powerless to help.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Have you told anyone else?” “Who would I tell?” “I don’t know,” Venkat said. “Friends?” “I don’t have any of those.” “Okay, keep it under your hat.” “I don’t wear a hat.” “It’s just an expression.” “Really?” Rich said. “It’s a stupid expression.” “Rich, you’re being difficult.” “Ah. Thanks.”

452. “Have you told anyone else?” “Who would I tell?” “I don’t know,” Venkat said. “Friends?” “I don’t have any of those.” “Okay, keep it under your hat.” “I don’t wear a hat.” “It’s just an expression.” “Really?” Rich said. “It’s a stupid expression.” “Rich, you’re being difficult.” “Ah. Thanks.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You may be wondering what else I do with my free time. I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But also do you, so don’t judge.”

453. “You may be wondering what else I do with my free time. I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But also do you, so don’t judge.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “One thing I have in abundance here are bags. They’re not much different than kitchen trash bags, though I’m sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.”

454. “One thing I have in abundance here are bags. They’re not much different than kitchen trash bags, though I’m sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years!”

455. “Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

456. “I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “When European mariners first came across Asian mariners, no one was surprised they both used sails.”

457. “When European mariners first came across Asian mariners, no one was surprised they both used sails.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If the RTG ever broke open, it would kill me to death.”

458. “If the RTG ever broke open, it would kill me to death.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The Hab is now a bomb.”

459. “The Hab is now a bomb.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “But now there was nothing. I never realized how utterly silent Mars is.”

460. “But now there was nothing. I never realized how utterly silent Mars is.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

461. “I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “So that’s the situation. I’m stranded on Mars.”

462. “So that’s the situation. I’m stranded on Mars.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m not talking about faith in God, I’m talking about faith in Mark Watney.”

463. “I’m not talking about faith in God, I’m talking about faith in Mark Watney.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If that stops working and I can’t fix it, I’m a dead man. No problems.”

464. “If that stops working and I can’t fix it, I’m a dead man. No problems.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.”

465. “I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.”

466. “Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “So far, I think it’s been working. But who knows? I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

467. “So far, I think it’s been working. But who knows? I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Ready for depress?” Dale asked via the radio. “Pretty depressed, yeah,” I said. “Don’t joke around. Not with airlock procedures.” “Sheesh, you really suck the air out of the room, you know that?” “Jazz!”

468. “Ready for depress?” Dale asked via the radio. “Pretty depressed, yeah,” I said. “Don’t joke around. Not with airlock procedures.” “Sheesh, you really suck the air out of the room, you know that?” “Jazz!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It wouldn’t be so bad if the MAV blew up. I wouldn’t know what hit me, but if I miss the intercept, I’ll just float around in space until I run out of air. I have a contingency plan for that. I’ll drop the oxygen mixture to zero and breathe pure nitrogen until I suffocate. It wouldn’t feel bad. The lungs don’t have the ability to sense lack of oxygen. I’d just get tired, fall asleep, then die.”

469. “It wouldn’t be so bad if the MAV blew up. I wouldn’t know what hit me, but if I miss the intercept, I’ll just float around in space until I run out of air. I have a contingency plan for that. I’ll drop the oxygen mixture to zero and breathe pure nitrogen until I suffocate. It wouldn’t feel bad. The lungs don’t have the ability to sense lack of oxygen. I’d just get tired, fall asleep, then die.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “She knew right then no one’s mind would change. They were going back to Mars.”

470. “She knew right then no one’s mind would change. They were going back to Mars.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.”

471. “The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Why not? It should be pretty damned obvious why not! They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

472. “Why not? It should be pretty damned obvious why not! They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

473. “They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I don’t have time for this. I have an alien thingy to catch.”

474. “I don’t have time for this. I have an alien thingy to catch.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s important to vary your profanities. If you use the same one too often it loses strength.”

475. “It’s important to vary your profanities. If you use the same one too often it loses strength.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission. That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”

476. “After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission. That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Then again, my students all have eyes and they were still amazed when I told them “x-rays,” “microwaves,” “Wi-Fi,” and “purple” were all just wavelengths of light.”

477. “Then again, my students all have eyes and they were still amazed when I told them “x-rays,” “microwaves,” “Wi-Fi,” and “purple” were all just wavelengths of light.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There’s nothing better than knowing you’re going to outwit the reader.”

478. “There’s nothing better than knowing you’re going to outwit the reader.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There are probably a thousand things that led to them being sapient and stuff.”

479. “There are probably a thousand things that led to them being sapient and stuff.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It just has to last long enough for me to get to safety. And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue.”

480. “It just has to last long enough for me to get to safety. And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Point is, the process worked!”

481. “Point is, the process worked!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Three comm systems, actually. I guess they aren’t taking any chances, what with my habit of being nearby when radios break.”

482. “Three comm systems, actually. I guess they aren’t taking any chances, what with my habit of being nearby when radios break.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”

483. “I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “With both of the trailer’s airlock doors open I was able to get the first battery in. After playing real-life Tetris for a while I found a way to get the first battery out of the way enough to let the second battery in.”

484. “With both of the trailer’s airlock doors open I was able to get the first battery in. After playing real-life Tetris for a while I found a way to get the first battery out of the way enough to let the second battery in.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The area around the MAV looks like the set of Sanford and Son. I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

485. “The area around the MAV looks like the set of Sanford and Son. I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s a good thing those numbers were right. If they hadn’t been, there would have been some serious scrambling when the orbital insertion went wrong. Maybe even some dying.”

486. “It’s a good thing those numbers were right. If they hadn’t been, there would have been some serious scrambling when the orbital insertion went wrong. Maybe even some dying.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

487. “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

488. “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Martinez was first out of his bunk. An air force man, he could match Lewis’s navy schedule with ease.”

489. “Martinez was first out of his bunk. An air force man, he could match Lewis’s navy schedule with ease.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Life is amazingly tenacious. They don’t want to die any more than I do.”

490. “Life is amazingly tenacious. They don’t want to die any more than I do.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There is no “stationary” in a solar system. You’re always moving around something.”

491. “There is no “stationary” in a solar system. You’re always moving around something.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

492. “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Got to get that sweet, sweet energy if you’re going to be a life-form.”

493. “Got to get that sweet, sweet energy if you’re going to be a life-form.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There’s no more powerful tool for safety than communication.”

494. “There’s no more powerful tool for safety than communication.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “What’s next on your reading list? Discover your next great read! Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author. Sign up now.”

495. “What’s next on your reading list? Discover your next great read! Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author. Sign up now.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Mitch poked the table with his finger. “They deserve to know. You think Commander Lewis can’t handle the truth?”

496. “Mitch poked the table with his finger. “They deserve to know. You think Commander Lewis can’t handle the truth?”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Now I’m in a rougher neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where you keep your rover doors locked and never come to a complete stop at intersections.”

497. “Now I’m in a rougher neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where you keep your rover doors locked and never come to a complete stop at intersections.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

498. “Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

499. “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town.”

500. “I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town.”

— Andy Weir

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