Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2025 Update)
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351. “Something very hot and very explodey had happened, and I wasn’t sure what. Or how.”

— Andy Weir

352. “I headed to the waiting area next to the train airlock and joined a crowd of tourists. All the seats were taken and dozens more people stood around. Several families had obnoxious kids bouncing off the walls. In this case, “bouncing off the walls” is not just a figure of speech. The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”

— Andy Weir

353. “People have been using human waste as fertilizer for centuries. It’s even got a pleasant name: “night soil.”

— Andy Weir

354. “There’s plenty of heat, thanks to the RTG. I just needed to get it evenly spread out. For once, entropy was on my side.”

— Andy Weir

355. “I didn’t want to distract the people who were saving my life, so I muted my mic and screamed like a little girl. It’s true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”

— Andy Weir

356. “Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else. Good to know.”

— Andy Weir

357. “There was something weird about being on the moon and fighting for your life with a stick and some fire.”

— Andy Weir

358. “I washed it down with some Martian coffee. That’s my name for “hot water with a caffeine pill dissolved in it.” I ran out of real coffee months ago.”

— Andy Weir

359. “Ever transcribed 141 random bytes, one-half of a byte at a time?”

— Andy Weir

360. “The hardest part about working with aliens and saving humanity from extinction is constantly having to come up with names for stuff.”

— Andy Weir

361. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

362. “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

— Andy Weir

363. “It’s short for soft-landed grams. S-L-G. Slug. One slug gets one gram of cargo delivered from Earth to Artemis, courtesy of KSC.”

— Andy Weir

364. “The rover was not so lucky. It continued tumbling down the hill, bouncing the traveler around like clothes in a dryer. After twenty meters, the soft powder gave way to more solid sand and the rover shuddered to a halt. It had come to rest on its side. The valves leading to the now- missing hoses had detected the sudden pressure drop and closed. The pressure seal was not breached. The traveler was alive, for now.”

— Andy Weir

365. “Have you told anyone else?” “Who would I tell?” “I don’t know,” Venkat said. “Friends?” “I don’t have any of those.” “Okay, keep it under your hat.” “I don’t wear a hat.” “It’s just an expression.” “Really?” Rich said. “It’s a stupid expression.” “Rich, you’re being difficult.” “Ah. Thanks.”

— Andy Weir

366. “All I had left was my oxygen tank. So it did the only thing it could do to keep me alive. It started backfilling with pure oxygen. I now risked dying of oxygen toxicity, as the excessively high amount of oxygen threatened to burn up my nervous system, lungs and eyes. An ironic death for someone with a leaky space suit: too much oxygen.”

— Andy Weir

367. “Anything, Tim?” “Totally,” he replied. “But we’re staring at this black screen because it’s way more interesting than pictures from Mars.” “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

368. “You started my training by buying me a beer. For breakfast. Germans are awesome.”

— Andy Weir

369. “Humanity has been accidentally causing global warming for a century. Let’s see what we can do when we really set our minds to it.”

— Andy Weir

370. “That’s the ceremonial uniform,” I said. “I mean a duty uniform. Light shirt, dark pants with a yellow stripe?” “Oh, Han Solo pants. Yeah, he had those on.” “Okay, thanks.” Pfft. Han Solo’s pants have a red stripe. And it’s not even a stripe – it’s a bunch of dashes. Some people have no education.”

— Andy Weir

371. “You’d be amazed at how fast you can get going with a tiny acceleration over a long time.”

— Andy Weir

372. “Time to get to know my fellow patients. I don’t know who I am or why I’m here, but at least I’m not alone – aaaand they’re dead.”

— Andy Weir

373. “No. You no can die. You are friend.”

— Andy Weir

374. “Human brains are amazing things. We can get used to just about anything.”

— Andy Weir

375. “That’s really the limiting factor to life support. Not the amount of oxygen you bring with you, but the amount of CO2 you can remove.”

— Andy Weir

376. “Your ship has more science that my ship. Better science. I bring my things in to your ship. Release tunnel. You make your ship spin for science. You and me science how to kill Astrophage together. Save Earth. Save Erid. This is good plan, question?”

— Andy Weir

377. “Cool thing about pendulums: The time it takes for one to swing forward and backward – the period – won’t change, no matter how wide it swings. If it’s got a lot of energy, it’ll swing farther and faster, but the period will still be the same. This is what mechanical clocks take advantage of to keep time.”

— Andy Weir

378. “Human suffering is often an abstract concept to kids. But animal suffering is something else entirely.”

— Andy Weir

379. “Pity I’m going to tear it apart.”

— Andy Weir

380. “Instead, I spent the day taking drugs and playing with radiation.”

— Andy Weir

381. “God damn it! I yelled to him. Will you stop wining about your problems during my murder!”

— Andy Weir

382. “Now I’m in a rougher neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where you keep your rover doors locked and never come to a complete stop at intersections.”

— Andy Weir

383. “Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years!”

— Andy Weir

384. “So,” Martinez said, “we’re talking about going directly against NASA’s decision?”

— Andy Weir

385. “As soon as the rover toppled, I curled into a ball and cowered. That’s the kind of action hero I am.”

— Andy Weir

386. “All of Earth is watching but powerless to help.”

— Andy Weir

387. “It’s all good to go. No problems that I can see.”

— Andy Weir

388. “It wouldn’t be so bad if the MAV blew up. I wouldn’t know what hit me, but if I miss the intercept, I’ll just float around in space until I run out of air. I have a contingency plan for that. I’ll drop the oxygen mixture to zero and breathe pure nitrogen until I suffocate. It wouldn’t feel bad. The lungs don’t have the ability to sense lack of oxygen. I’d just get tired, fall asleep, then die.”

— Andy Weir

389. “But I would have gotten away with it.”

— Andy Weir

390. “I’m a well-honed machine in times of crisis.”

— Andy Weir

391. “They’ll probably say, “Thanks for gathering samples. But leave them behind. And one of your arms, too. Whichever one you like least.”

— Andy Weir

392. “Software engineers are sneaky bastards when it comes to data management.”

— Andy Weir

393. “I unraveled Martinez’s bed and took the string outside, then taped it to the trailer hull along the path I planned to cut. Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”

— Andy Weir

394. “I have a much bigger problem. The farm is dead.”

— Andy Weir

395. “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

396. “I thought I was far enough from the explosion but no, not even close. Chunks of twisted metal bashed my boulder while smaller bits of wreckage rained from above. “Oh, right,” I said. I’d forgotten to account for the other explosive in there: the hydrogen fuel-cell battery. All that hydrogen had met the oxygen at high temperature and they’d had a brief chat.”

— Andy Weir

397. “Carefully reaching to the side of my helmet, I got the.”

— Andy Weir

398. “If this were a movie, everyone would have been in the airlock, and there would have been high fives all around. But it didn’t pan out that way.”

— Andy Weir

399. “They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

400. “They were going back to Mars.”

— Andy Weir