Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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351. “Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

— Andy Weir

352. “It’s a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.”

— Andy Weir

353. “The Hab is now a bomb.”

— Andy Weir

354. “But now there was nothing. I never realized how utterly silent Mars is.”

— Andy Weir

355. “So that’s the situation. I’m stranded on Mars.”

— Andy Weir

356. “I’m not talking about faith in God, I’m talking about faith in Mark Watney.”

— Andy Weir

357. “I can’t blame it. Its whole purpose is to prevent the atmosphere from becoming lethal. Nobody at NASA thought, “Hey, let’s allow a fatal lack of oxygen that will make everyone drop dead!”

— Andy Weir

358. “If that stops working and I can’t fix it, I’m a dead man. No problems.”

— Andy Weir

359. “I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.”

— Andy Weir

360. “I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

— Andy Weir

361. “Ever transcribed 141 random bytes, one-half of a byte at a time?”

— Andy Weir

362. “NASA doesn’t have total faith in my kludged-together rover.”

— Andy Weir

363. “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.”

— Andy Weir

364. “I have to face facts. I’m done prepping the rover. I don’t “feel” like I’m done.”

— Andy Weir

365. “Before leaving the cockpit, I take one last look at the Telescope screen. I don’t know why – I guess I just like to keep track of what extraterrestrial ships in my vicinity are up to. The Blip-A spins in space. It rotates end-over-end, probably at the exact same rate as the Hail Mary. I guess they saw me spin up the centrifuge and figured it was another communication thing. Humanity’s first miscommunication with an intelligent alien race. Glad I could be a part of it.”

— Andy Weir

366. “Anything, Tim?” “Totally,” he replied. “But we’re staring at this black screen because it’s way more interesting than pictures from Mars.” “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

367. “I did, however, glue my hand to the helmet. Stop laughing.”

— Andy Weir

368. “I’m so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that’s not the point.”

— Andy Weir

369. “The oldest words in a language are usually the shortest.”

— Andy Weir

370. “I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

371. “If this were a movie, everyone would have been in the airlock, and there would have been high fives all around. But it didn’t pan out that way.”

— Andy Weir

372. “How did I end up in this situation? I’m the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?”

— Andy Weir

373. “It just didn’t occur to me. But it should have. If your lungs grabbed up all the oxygen, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation wouldn’t work. I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

— Andy Weir

374. “One of my favorite experiments with the kids is to have them look at a drop of water. A drop of water, preferably one from a puddle outside, will be swarming with life. It always goes over well, except for the occasional kid who then refuses to drink water for a while.”

— Andy Weir

375. “Thing is,” Chuck continued, “without the dish, a signal would have to be really strong – ” “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

376. “I called it the “Bruce Banner Test.”

— Andy Weir

377. “Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else. Good to know.”

— Andy Weir

378. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

379. “That’s the ceremonial uniform,” I said. “I mean a duty uniform. Light shirt, dark pants with a yellow stripe?” “Oh, Han Solo pants. Yeah, he had those on.” “Okay, thanks.” Pfft. Han Solo’s pants have a red stripe. And it’s not even a stripe – it’s a bunch of dashes. Some people have no education.”

— Andy Weir

380. “We do not have time to develop a complicated neural network. This is a strictly procedural algorithm. Very complex, but not AI at all. We have to be able to test it in thousands of ways and know exactly how it responds and why. We can’t do that with a neural network.”

— Andy Weir

381. “Instead, I spent the day taking drugs and playing with radiation.”

— Andy Weir

382. “That’s really the limiting factor to life support. Not the amount of oxygen you bring with you, but the amount of CO2 you can remove.”

— Andy Weir

383. “It’ll keep you from puking all over our nice, clean cockpit.”

— Andy Weir

384. “My cart is a pain in the ass to control, but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. I named him Trigger.”

— Andy Weir

385. “Social discomfort,” he says. “No talk.”

— Andy Weir

386. “Call me crazy, but I didn’t want the drill explosively launched at my face.”

— Andy Weir

387. “Well,” he said. “It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa.” “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said. “Wow,” I said. “I know New Zealand is pretty cool but – ” “And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,” Redell said. “There it is.”

— Andy Weir

388. “Staying alive isn’t about oxygen, it’s about getting rid of CO2.”

— Andy Weir

389. “I’m going to finish off the last of Three’s Company tonight. Frankly, I like Mr. Furley more than the Ropers.”

— Andy Weir

390. “All that hydrogen had met the oxygen at high temperature and they’d had a brief chat.”

— Andy Weir

391. “There’s plenty of heat, thanks to the RTG. I just needed to get it evenly spread out. For once, entropy was on my side.”

— Andy Weir

392. “No. You no can die. You are friend.”

— Andy Weir

393. “I headed to the waiting area next to the train airlock and joined a crowd of tourists. All the seats were taken and dozens more people stood around. Several families had obnoxious kids bouncing off the walls. In this case, “bouncing off the walls” is not just a figure of speech. The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”

— Andy Weir

394. “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed! I’m really going to have to be more careful.”

— Andy Weir

395. “You got me,” she said. “He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.”

— Andy Weir

396. “Venkat, tell the investigation committee they’ll have to do their witch hunt without me. And when they inevitably blame Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney PS: Their sisters, too.”

— Andy Weir

397. “Cool thing about pendulums: The time it takes for one to swing forward and backward – the period – won’t change, no matter how wide it swings. If it’s got a lot of energy, it’ll swing farther and faster, but the period will still be the same. This is what mechanical clocks take advantage of to keep time.”

— Andy Weir

398. “I suppose I’ll think of something. Or die.”

— Andy Weir

399. “So far, the rover and my ghetto life support are working admirably. At.”

— Andy Weir

400. “I’m sure I’ll have to adjust the course when I’m actually driving it. No plan survives first contact with the enemy.”

— Andy Weir