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Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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Andy Weir Quote: “I spent three months as the loneliest man in history and it’s finally over.”

351. “I spent three months as the loneliest man in history and it’s finally over.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You could be less of an ass.” “I could,” I said. “But it’s not likely.”

352. “You could be less of an ass.” “I could,” I said. “But it’s not likely.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “For some reason, a high concentration of O2 will kill most headaches. Don’t know why. Don’t care. The important thing is I don’t have to suffer.”

353. “For some reason, a high concentration of O2 will kill most headaches. Don’t know why. Don’t care. The important thing is I don’t have to suffer.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Something very hot and very explodey had happened, and I wasn’t sure what. Or how.”

354. “Something very hot and very explodey had happened, and I wasn’t sure what. Or how.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

355. “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m sure it’ll turn out to be a little hole somewhere, then NASA will have four hours of meetings before telling me to cover it with duct tape.”

356. “I’m sure it’ll turn out to be a little hole somewhere, then NASA will have four hours of meetings before telling me to cover it with duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Rocky’s word for “one” is just two notes played at the same time.”

357. “Rocky’s word for “one” is just two notes played at the same time.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Mars is not Earth. It doesn’t have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. It’s damn near a vacuum here.”

358. “Mars is not Earth. It doesn’t have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. It’s damn near a vacuum here.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

359. “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I didn’t want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.”

360. “I didn’t want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There’s no way to be sure,” Irene said. “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

361. “There’s no way to be sure,” Irene said. “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Mars keeps trying to kill me.”

362. “Mars keeps trying to kill me.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

363. “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue. Anyway, one problem at a time. Right now I’m fixing the EVA suit. AUDIO.”

364. “And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue. Anyway, one problem at a time. Right now I’m fixing the EVA suit. AUDIO.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.”

365. “It’s a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “They see the water reclaimer as a critical survival element. There’s no backup, and they think I’ll die instantly without it. To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

366. “They see the water reclaimer as a critical survival element. There’s no backup, and they think I’ll die instantly without it. To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Or maybe they’ll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.”

367. “Or maybe they’ll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

368. “Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Important note: Do not pee in a graywater-reuse shower.”

369. “Important note: Do not pee in a graywater-reuse shower.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Interesting that the ship didn’t automatically eject them as they became empty. I dismiss the window and return to the main ship map.”

370. “Interesting that the ship didn’t automatically eject them as they became empty. I dismiss the window and return to the main ship map.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Not because of the perfect landing, but because he left so much fuel behind. Hundreds of liters of unused hydrazine. Each molecule of hydrazine has four hydrogen atoms in it.”

371. “Not because of the perfect landing, but because he left so much fuel behind. Hundreds of liters of unused hydrazine. Each molecule of hydrazine has four hydrogen atoms in it.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Anything, Tim?” “Totally,” he replied. “But we’re staring at this black screen because it’s way more interesting than pictures from Mars.” “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

372. “Anything, Tim?” “Totally,” he replied. “But we’re staring at this black screen because it’s way more interesting than pictures from Mars.” “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I did, however, glue my hand to the helmet. Stop laughing.”

373. “I did, however, glue my hand to the helmet. Stop laughing.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Ever transcribed 141 random bytes, one-half of a byte at a time?”

374. “Ever transcribed 141 random bytes, one-half of a byte at a time?”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “NASA doesn’t have total faith in my kludged-together rover.”

375. “NASA doesn’t have total faith in my kludged-together rover.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.”

376. “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I have to face facts. I’m done prepping the rover. I don’t “feel” like I’m done.”

377. “I have to face facts. I’m done prepping the rover. I don’t “feel” like I’m done.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

378. “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It just didn’t occur to me. But it should have. If your lungs grabbed up all the oxygen, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation wouldn’t work. I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

379. “It just didn’t occur to me. But it should have. If your lungs grabbed up all the oxygen, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation wouldn’t work. I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that’s not the point.”

380. “I’m so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that’s not the point.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The oldest words in a language are usually the shortest.”

381. “The oldest words in a language are usually the shortest.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

382. “I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If this were a movie, everyone would have been in the airlock, and there would have been high fives all around. But it didn’t pan out that way.”

383. “If this were a movie, everyone would have been in the airlock, and there would have been high fives all around. But it didn’t pan out that way.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else. Good to know.”

384. “Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else. Good to know.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

385. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Thing is,” Chuck continued, “without the dish, a signal would have to be really strong – ” “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

386. “Thing is,” Chuck continued, “without the dish, a signal would have to be really strong – ” “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “My cart is a pain in the ass to control, but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. I named him Trigger.”

387. “My cart is a pain in the ass to control, but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. I named him Trigger.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “That’s really the limiting factor to life support. Not the amount of oxygen you bring with you, but the amount of CO2 you can remove.”

388. “That’s really the limiting factor to life support. Not the amount of oxygen you bring with you, but the amount of CO2 you can remove.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’ll keep you from puking all over our nice, clean cockpit.”

389. “It’ll keep you from puking all over our nice, clean cockpit.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Call me crazy, but I didn’t want the drill explosively launched at my face.”

390. “Call me crazy, but I didn’t want the drill explosively launched at my face.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Well,” he said. “It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa.” “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said. “Wow,” I said. “I know New Zealand is pretty cool but – ” “And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,” Redell said. “There it is.”

391. “Well,” he said. “It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa.” “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said. “Wow,” I said. “I know New Zealand is pretty cool but – ” “And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,” Redell said. “There it is.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I could see the Soyuz through the window. Old technology, to be sure, but easily the most reliable launch system ever made.”

392. “I could see the Soyuz through the window. Old technology, to be sure, but easily the most reliable launch system ever made.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “No. You no can die. You are friend.”

393. “No. You no can die. You are friend.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “All that hydrogen had met the oxygen at high temperature and they’d had a brief chat.”

394. “All that hydrogen had met the oxygen at high temperature and they’d had a brief chat.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There’s plenty of heat, thanks to the RTG. I just needed to get it evenly spread out. For once, entropy was on my side.”

395. “There’s plenty of heat, thanks to the RTG. I just needed to get it evenly spread out. For once, entropy was on my side.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Venkat, tell the investigation committee they’ll have to do their witch hunt without me. And when they inevitably blame Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney PS: Their sisters, too.”

396. “Venkat, tell the investigation committee they’ll have to do their witch hunt without me. And when they inevitably blame Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney PS: Their sisters, too.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I headed to the waiting area next to the train airlock and joined a crowd of tourists. All the seats were taken and dozens more people stood around. Several families had obnoxious kids bouncing off the walls. In this case, “bouncing off the walls” is not just a figure of speech. The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”

397. “I headed to the waiting area next to the train airlock and joined a crowd of tourists. All the seats were taken and dozens more people stood around. Several families had obnoxious kids bouncing off the walls. In this case, “bouncing off the walls” is not just a figure of speech. The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed! I’m really going to have to be more careful.”

398. “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed! I’m really going to have to be more careful.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You got me,” she said. “He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.”

399. “You got me,” she said. “He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If I ever return to Earth, I’m going to buy a nice little home in Western Australia. Because Western Australia is on the opposite side of Earth from Idaho.”

400. “If I ever return to Earth, I’m going to buy a nice little home in Western Australia. Because Western Australia is on the opposite side of Earth from Idaho.”

— Andy Weir

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