Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 9 of 10

401. “So instead, I went to good old “Spare Parts” Rover 1 and stole its environment heater. I’ve gutted that poor rover so much, it looks like I parked it in a bad part of town. I.”

— Andy Weir

402. “When flint strikes steel, it knocks microscopic flecks of metal into the air. The metal burns because of some complicated crap related to surface area and oxidization rates. Basically, it rusts so fast that the reaction heat makes fire.”

— Andy Weir

403. “Have you ever taken the wrong freeway entrance? You just need to drive to the next exit to turn around, but you hate every inch of travel because you’re going away from your goal.”

— Andy Weir

404. “I tried to send a message, but Pathfinder isn’t responding. That’s not a big surprise. It’s powered directly from the Hab, and the Hab is offline. During my brief, panicked scramble outside, I saw that Pathfinder was right where I left it, and the debris didn’t reach that far out. It should be fine, once I get it some power.”

— Andy Weir

405. “I figure if there’s a God, He won’t mind, considering the situation I’m in.”

— Andy Weir

406. “I work out my location when I’m parked, and account for it in the next day’s travel. It’s kind of a successive approximation thing. So far, I think it’s been working. But who knows? I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

— Andy Weir

407. “With both of the trailer’s airlock doors open I was able to get the first battery in. After playing real-life Tetris for a while I found a way to get the first battery out of the way enough to let the second battery in.”

— Andy Weir

408. “It didn’t budge. Of course it didn’t. The rover was at lower pressure.”

— Andy Weir

409. “Folks,” he said, “this is going to be the most ‘ghetto’ spacecraft ever built. There.”

— Andy Weir

410. “Interesting that the ship didn’t automatically eject them as they became empty. I dismiss the window and return to the main ship map.”

— Andy Weir

411. “I can create the O2 easily enough. It takes twenty hours for the MAV fuel plant to fill its 10-liter tank with CO2. The oxygenator can turn it into O2, then the atmospheric regulator will see the O2 content in the Hab is high, and pull it out of the air, storing it in the main O2 tanks. They’ll fill up, so I’ll have to transfer O2 over to the rovers’ tanks and even the space suit tanks as necessary.”

— Andy Weir

412. “As the ship soared, the open OMS ports took their toll. The crew rocked in their couches as the craft shook violently. Martinez.”

— Andy Weir

413. “They’re mammals! Makes no sense.”

— Andy Weir

414. “The Russian spoke for the first time. “Actually, my friend, we do.”

— Andy Weir

415. “Still, their well-maintained air shelter and regular fire drills had saved a lot of lives. Factories can be rebuilt. People can’t. It was a win.”

— Andy Weir

416. “I’m getting pretty good at this. Maybe when all this is over I could be a product tester for Mars rovers.”

— Andy Weir

417. “It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I’m the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars. The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars. The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first!”

— Andy Weir

418. “How long will the patch take?” Venkat asked. “Should be pretty much instant,” Jack answered. “Watney entered the hack earlier today, and we confirmed it worked. We updated Pathfinder’s OS without any problems. We sent the rover patch, which Pathfinder rebroadcast. Once Watney executes the patch and reboots the rover, we should get a connection.” “Jesus, what a complicated process,” Venkat said. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

419. “So far, I think it’s been working. But who knows? I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

— Andy Weir

420. “NASA doesn’t have total faith in my kludged-together rover.”

— Andy Weir

421. “Social discomfort,” he says. “No talk.”

— Andy Weir

422. “Goddamn, it’s annoying to commit crimes in a small town.”

— Andy Weir

423. “The rover was not so lucky. It continued tumbling down the hill, bouncing the traveler around like clothes in a dryer. After twenty meters, the soft powder gave way to more solid sand and the rover shuddered to a halt. It had come to rest on its side. The valves leading to the now- missing hoses had detected the sudden pressure drop and closed. The pressure seal was not breached. The traveler was alive, for now.”

— Andy Weir

424. “Despite what you see in action movies and comics, bigger really is better. A six-foot man just has too much of an edge over two slim women.”

— Andy Weir

425. “And the American people may be sentimental, but their government is not. The US State Department won’t trade anything major for one man’s life.”

— Andy Weir

426. “Human waste has pathogens in it that, you guessed it, infect humans.”

— Andy Weir

427. “Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney.”

— Andy Weir

428. “What the fudge is going on?! Fudge? Seriously? Maybe I have young kids. Or I’m deeply religious.”

— Andy Weir

429. “Martinez was first out of his bunk. An air force man, he could match Lewis’s navy schedule with ease.”

— Andy Weir

430. “A clumsy, awkward success is still a success.”

— Andy Weir

431. “It’s awesome to have a bunch of dipshits on Earth telling me, a botanist, how to grow plants.”

— Andy Weir

432. “Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney PS: Their sisters, too.”

— Andy Weir

433. “My lungs, now full of carbon dioxide, panic. But the adrenaline rush doesn’t give me the strength I need to escape. It just keeps me awake so I can experience death in more detail. Thanks, adrenal glands.”

— Andy Weir

434. “I panted in my suit and suppressed the urge to puke. That was way the hell more exertion than I’m built for. An oxygen-deprivation headache took root. It’d be with me for a few hours, at least. I’d managed to get altitude sickness on the moon.”

— Andy Weir

435. “Snowblowers are expensive,” he used to say. “You’re free.”

— Andy Weir

436. “Also, I’ll lose half a liter of water per day to breathing until the humidity in the Hab reaches its maximum and water starts condensing on every surface. Then I’ll be licking the walls. Yay.”

— Andy Weir

437. “I opened and closed my hands a few times. The bandages were off, but both hands were littered with red blisters. I looked like a leper. Or a hooker who gave handjobs exclusively to lepers.”

— Andy Weir

438. “Also, I need to make an outdoor shed for the potatoes. I can’t just pile them up outside. The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.”

— Andy Weir

439. “Very good. Most would not know that.” “I teach junior high school science,” I said. “These things come up.”

— Andy Weir

440. “I’m Canadian, by the way. But don’t worry! I’m not one of those anti-American Canadians. I think you guys are alright.”

— Andy Weir

441. “It’s a weird feeling, scientific breakthroughs. There’s no Eureka moment. Just a slow, steady progression toward a goal. But man, when you get to that goal it feels good.”

— Andy Weir

442. “Yeah, I definitely pulled something in my back. I woke up in agony. So I took a break from rover planning. Instead, I spent the day taking drugs and playing with radiation.”

— Andy Weir

443. “Well, that concept is critical to the “Mark Watney doesn’t die” project.”

— Andy Weir

444. “Got to love computers. They do all the thinking for you so you don’t have to.”

— Andy Weir

445. “The computer finishes its boot process and brings up a screen I’ve never seen before. I can tell it means trouble, because the word “TROUBLE” is in large type across the top.”

— Andy Weir

446. “Then he knelt on one knee and fist-pumped repeatedly.”

— Andy Weir

447. “Were you followed?” “Of course,” I said. “And I led them straight to you. Turns out I’m not very bright.” “Smartass.” “Dumbass.”

— Andy Weir

448. “There are probably a thousand things that led to them being sapient and stuff.”

— Andy Weir

449. “A frumpy Midwestern woman giggled at her window and turned to me. “Isn’t it amazing?! We’re on the moon!”

— Andy Weir

450. “I suppose I’ll think of something. Or die.”

— Andy Weir