Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2025 Update)
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401. “Blissfull unconsiousness became foggy awareness which transitioned into painful reality.”

— Andy Weir

402. “One thing I have in abundance here are bags. They’re not much different than kitchen trash bags, though I’m sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.”

— Andy Weir

403. “Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.”

— Andy Weir

404. “I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface. But oh well. 31 sols will have to do.”

— Andy Weir

405. “You guys know about climate change, right? How our CO2 emissions have caused a lot of problems in the environment?” “My dad says that’s not real,” said Tamora. “Well, it is,” I said. “Anyway.”

— Andy Weir

406. “She looked to the ceiling. “Between their financial base and physical enforcers, they’ll own the city. Think Chicago in the 1920s, but a hundred times worse. I’ll be powerless.”

— Andy Weir

407. “Important note: Do not pee in a graywater-reuse shower.”

— Andy Weir

408. “The questions are many: How long can he last? How much food does he have? Can Ares 4 rescue him? How will we talk to him? The answers to these questions are not what we want to hear. “I can’t promise we’ll succeed in rescuing him, but I can promise this: The entire focus of NASA will be to bring Mark Watney home. This will be our overriding and singular obsession until he is either back on Earth or confirmed dead on Mars.”

— Andy Weir

409. “If Bruce can pull a rabbit out of a hat and get done sooner, Maurice can do some inspections.”

— Andy Weir

410. “But now there was nothing. I never realized how utterly silent Mars is.”

— Andy Weir

411. “If I ever return to Earth, I’m going to buy a nice little home in Western Australia. Because Western Australia is on the opposite side of Earth from Idaho.”

— Andy Weir

412. “Watney snorted in their direction. Then he closed his eyes and felt the sun on his face. It was a nice, boring afternoon.”

— Andy Weir

413. “There’s nothing better than knowing you’re going to outwit the reader.”

— Andy Weir

414. “When European mariners first came across Asian mariners, no one was surprised they both used sails.”

— Andy Weir

415. “After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission. That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”

— Andy Weir

416. “Then came the digging. Oh God, the digging.”

— Andy Weir

417. “I had this bad habit of checking my bank account every day, as if compulsively looking at it would make it grow.”

— Andy Weir

418. “I’ll give you a million slugs.” “Deal.”

— Andy Weir

419. “Hell, if we learned anything from “The Phantom Menace” it’s this: Never start a sci-fi story with a description of complex macroeconomics.”

— Andy Weir

420. “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.”

— Andy Weir

421. “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

422. “And that’s exactly what had happened. Power traveled from the drill line’s positive lead, through the workbench, through the Mylar, through Pathfinder’s hull, through a bunch of extremely sensitive and irreplaceable electronics, and out the negative lead of Pathfinder’s power line.”

— Andy Weir

423. “When you get down to it, smell is just tasting at range.”

— Andy Weir

424. “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

— Andy Weir

425. “The human brain works hard to abstract that out.”

— Andy Weir

426. “25 kph, the rover’s top speed.”

— Andy Weir

427. “You know what? “Kilowatt-hour per sol” is a pain in the ass to say. I’m gonna invent a new scientific unit name. One kilowatt-hour per sol is... it can be anything... um... I suck at this... I’ll call it a “pirate-ninja”.”

— Andy Weir

428. “Back on Earth, universities and governments are willing to pay millions to get their hands on Mars rocks. I’m using them as ballast.”

— Andy Weir

429. “I’ll give my dad credit; he never claimed it was to build character or teach me the value of hard work. “Snowblowers are expensive,” he used to say. “You’re free.”

— Andy Weir

430. “For some reason, a high concentration of O2 will kill most headaches. Don’t know why. Don’t care. The important thing is I don’t have to suffer.”

— Andy Weir

431. “I would have done it today, but it got dark and I got lazy.”

— Andy Weir

432. “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

— Andy Weir

433. “Hartnell’s was for drinking. And you could get any drink you wanted, as long as it was beer.”

— Andy Weir

434. “Don’t worry about it.” I climbed out of the basin and dropped four meters to the ground. I pulled a chair toward me, spun it around, and straddled it. I rested my chin on my palm and got lost in thought. Trond sidled over. “So?” “Thinking,” I said. “Do women know how sexy they look when they sit like that?” “Of course.” “I knew it!” “Trying to concentrate.” “Sorry.”

— Andy Weir

435. “He hadn’t expected a woman to recommend hookers. Earthers tend to be uptight on that topic, and I’ve never understood why. It’s a service performed for a payment. What’s the big deal?”

— Andy Weir

436. “First off, Dad, it’s not petty vandalism. It’s extreme vandalism.”

— Andy Weir

437. “Three days off the painkillers and I’m a lot smarter than I was. At least he understands that much – I wasn’t just some stupid human. I was a human with enhanced stupidity.”

— Andy Weir

438. “I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

439. “The walls were lined with thick plastic sheets, all held together with some kind of special tape.”

— Andy Weir

440. “La gente ha estado usando detritos humanos como fertilizante durante siglos.”

— Andy Weir

441. “So lab-coated geeks got together and decided Mars’s elevation zero is wherever the air pressure is 610.5 pascals.”

— Andy Weir

442. “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said.”

— Andy Weir

443. “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

— Andy Weir

444. “But they never used large RTGs on manned missions until the Ares Program. Why not? It should be pretty damned obvious why not! They didn’t want to put astronauts next to a glowing hot ball of radioactive death!”

— Andy Weir

445. “Well, it is a photo taken from orbit,” Mindy said. “The NSA enhanced the image with the best software they have.” “Wait, what?” Venkat stammered. “The NSA?” “Yeah, they called and offered to help out.”

— Andy Weir

446. “The battery was a lithium thionyl chloride non-rechargeable. I figured that out from some subtle clues: the shape of the connection points, the thickness of the insulation, and the fact that it had “LiSOCl2 NON-RCHRG” written on it.”

— Andy Weir

447. “The area around the MAV looks like the set of Sanford and Son. I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

448. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a woman. Just sayin.”

— Andy Weir

449. “Armstrong Bubble sits in the middle, surrounded by Aldrin, Conrad, Bean, and Shepard.”

— Andy Weir

450. “YOU believe in God, Venkat?” Mitch asked. “Sure, lots of ’em,” Venkat said. “I’m Hindu.”

— Andy Weir