Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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401. “This is one of those things I frequently have to explain to my students. Gravity doesn’t just “go away” when you’re in orbit. In fact, the gravity you experience in orbit is pretty much the same as you’d experience on the ground. The weightlessness that astronauts experience while in orbit comes from constantly falling. But the curvature of the Earth makes the ground go away at the same rate you fall. So you just fall forever.”

— Andy Weir

402. “But by the end of it I had a plan. And like all good plans, it required a crazy Ukrainian guy.”

— Andy Weir

403. “Goddamn, it’s annoying to commit crimes in a small town.”

— Andy Weir

404. “I’ll need to trick out a rover. Basically it’ll have to be a mobile Hab. I’ll pick Rover 2 as my target. We have a certain bond, after I spent two days in it during the Great Hydrogen Scare of Sol 37.”

— Andy Weir

405. “I would have done it today, but it got dark and I got lazy.”

— Andy Weir

406. “But more important, they’ll be cooked. When you cook food, the proteins break down, and the food becomes easier to digest. I’ll get more calories out of it, and I need every calorie I can get my hands on.”

— Andy Weir

407. “Will an alien math error doom my entire species?”

— Andy Weir

408. “Why doesn’t Rosco just go to the Duke farm and arrest them when they’re not in the car?”

— Andy Weir

409. “Something very hot and very explodey had happened, and I wasn’t sure what. Or how.”

— Andy Weir

410. “They lay in silence, strapped to their couches and ready for launch. Beck looked at Watney’s empty couch and saw Vogel doing the same. Martinez ran a self-check on the nose cone OMS thrusters. They were no longer safe for use. He noted the malfunction in his log.”

— Andy Weir

411. “I’m a well-honed machine in times of crisis.”

— Andy Weir

412. “Human brains are amazing things. We can get used to just about anything.”

— Andy Weir

413. “But I did wake up, and the main computer showed the slight rise in CO2 I had predicted. Looks like I’ll live another sol. Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

— Andy Weir

414. “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

415. “Hell, if we learned anything from “The Phantom Menace” it’s this: Never start a sci-fi story with a description of complex macroeconomics.”

— Andy Weir

416. “All of Earth is watching but powerless to help.”

— Andy Weir

417. “Have you told anyone else?” “Who would I tell?” “I don’t know,” Venkat said. “Friends?” “I don’t have any of those.” “Okay, keep it under your hat.” “I don’t wear a hat.” “It’s just an expression.” “Really?” Rich said. “It’s a stupid expression.” “Rich, you’re being difficult.” “Ah. Thanks.”

— Andy Weir

418. “You may be wondering what else I do with my free time. I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But also do you, so don’t judge.”

— Andy Weir

419. “Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years!”

— Andy Weir

420. “I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

421. “If the RTG ever broke open, it would kill me to death.”

— Andy Weir

422. “Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

— Andy Weir

423. “It’s a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.”

— Andy Weir

424. “When European mariners first came across Asian mariners, no one was surprised they both used sails.”

— Andy Weir

425. “Or maybe they’ll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.”

— Andy Weir

426. “But now there was nothing. I never realized how utterly silent Mars is.”

— Andy Weir

427. “Important note: Do not pee in a graywater-reuse shower.”

— Andy Weir

428. “The Hab is now a bomb.”

— Andy Weir

429. “If that stops working and I can’t fix it, I’m a dead man. No problems.”

— Andy Weir

430. “I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.”

— Andy Weir

431. “I experimented with potato skin tea a few weeks ago. The less said about that the better.”

— Andy Weir

432. “So that’s the situation. I’m stranded on Mars.”

— Andy Weir

433. “I’m not talking about faith in God, I’m talking about faith in Mark Watney.”

— Andy Weir

434. “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

435. “Anything, Tim?” “Totally,” he replied. “But we’re staring at this black screen because it’s way more interesting than pictures from Mars.” “You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.”

— Andy Weir

436. “I did, however, glue my hand to the helmet. Stop laughing.”

— Andy Weir

437. “Ever transcribed 141 random bytes, one-half of a byte at a time?”

— Andy Weir

438. “NASA doesn’t have total faith in my kludged-together rover.”

— Andy Weir

439. “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.”

— Andy Weir

440. “I have to face facts. I’m done prepping the rover. I don’t “feel” like I’m done.”

— Andy Weir

441. “Before leaving the cockpit, I take one last look at the Telescope screen. I don’t know why – I guess I just like to keep track of what extraterrestrial ships in my vicinity are up to. The Blip-A spins in space. It rotates end-over-end, probably at the exact same rate as the Hail Mary. I guess they saw me spin up the centrifuge and figured it was another communication thing. Humanity’s first miscommunication with an intelligent alien race. Glad I could be a part of it.”

— Andy Weir

442. “The oldest words in a language are usually the shortest.”

— Andy Weir

443. “I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

444. “If this were a movie, everyone would have been in the airlock, and there would have been high fives all around. But it didn’t pan out that way.”

— Andy Weir

445. “It just didn’t occur to me. But it should have. If your lungs grabbed up all the oxygen, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation wouldn’t work. I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

— Andy Weir

446. “I’m so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that’s not the point.”

— Andy Weir

447. “Very few people get a chance to quantify how much their father loves them. But I did. The job should have taken forty-five minutes, but Dad spent three and a half hours on it. My father loves me 366 percent more than he loves anything else. Good to know.”

— Andy Weir

448. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

449. “Thing is,” Chuck continued, “without the dish, a signal would have to be really strong – ” “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

450. “Instead, I spent the day taking drugs and playing with radiation.”

— Andy Weir