Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2024 Update)
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401. “After mangling the Hab, I pulled the remaining canvas down to the flooring and resealed it. Ever set up a camping tent? From the inside? While wearing a suit of armor? It was a pain in the ass.”

— Andy Weir

402. “Hey, if you want to play life safe, don’t live on the moon.”

— Andy Weir

403. “I wish there were a way to spend more time on the surface. But oh well. 31 sols will have to do.”

— Andy Weir

404. “You guys know about climate change, right? How our CO2 emissions have caused a lot of problems in the environment?” “My dad says that’s not real,” said Tamora. “Well, it is,” I said. “Anyway.”

— Andy Weir

405. “I’m not talking about faith in God, I’m talking about faith in Mark Watney.”

— Andy Weir

406. “She looked to the ceiling. “Between their financial base and physical enforcers, they’ll own the city. Think Chicago in the 1920s, but a hundred times worse. I’ll be powerless.”

— Andy Weir

407. “Important note: Do not pee in a graywater-reuse shower.”

— Andy Weir

408. “The questions are many: How long can he last? How much food does he have? Can Ares 4 rescue him? How will we talk to him? The answers to these questions are not what we want to hear. “I can’t promise we’ll succeed in rescuing him, but I can promise this: The entire focus of NASA will be to bring Mark Watney home. This will be our overriding and singular obsession until he is either back on Earth or confirmed dead on Mars.”

— Andy Weir

409. “If Bruce can pull a rabbit out of a hat and get done sooner, Maurice can do some inspections.”

— Andy Weir

410. “But now there was nothing. I never realized how utterly silent Mars is.”

— Andy Weir

411. “At 13:30 my ruination occurred, though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

— Andy Weir

412. “If I ever return to Earth, I’m going to buy a nice little home in Western Australia. Because Western Australia is on the opposite side of Earth from Idaho.”

— Andy Weir

413. “Watney snorted in their direction. Then he closed his eyes and felt the sun on his face. It was a nice, boring afternoon.”

— Andy Weir

414. “There’s nothing better than knowing you’re going to outwit the reader.”

— Andy Weir

415. “When European mariners first came across Asian mariners, no one was surprised they both used sails.”

— Andy Weir

416. “After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission. That makes me a pirate! A space pirate!”

— Andy Weir

417. “Then came the digging. Oh God, the digging.”

— Andy Weir

418. “I had this bad habit of checking my bank account every day, as if compulsively looking at it would make it grow.”

— Andy Weir

419. “I’ll give you a million slugs.” “Deal.”

— Andy Weir

420. “Hell, if we learned anything from “The Phantom Menace” it’s this: Never start a sci-fi story with a description of complex macroeconomics.”

— Andy Weir

421. “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.”

— Andy Weir

422. “But I want a pic of his face ASAP.” “Can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

423. “Well,” he said. “It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa.” “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said. “Wow,” I said. “I know New Zealand is pretty cool but – ” “And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,” Redell said. “There it is.”

— Andy Weir

424. “This is one of those things I frequently have to explain to my students. Gravity doesn’t just “go away” when you’re in orbit. In fact, the gravity you experience in orbit is pretty much the same as you’d experience on the ground. The weightlessness that astronauts experience while in orbit comes from constantly falling. But the curvature of the Earth makes the ground go away at the same rate you fall. So you just fall forever.”

— Andy Weir

425. “And that’s exactly what had happened. Power traveled from the drill line’s positive lead, through the workbench, through the Mylar, through Pathfinder’s hull, through a bunch of extremely sensitive and irreplaceable electronics, and out the negative lead of Pathfinder’s power line.”

— Andy Weir

426. “When you get down to it, smell is just tasting at range.”

— Andy Weir

427. “Running to the spacecraft, he hugged Landing Strut B.”

— Andy Weir

428. “The human brain works hard to abstract that out.”

— Andy Weir

429. “The airlock door doesn’t reach the ceiling, so I’ll have to play “The Floor Is Lava” to get in.”

— Andy Weir

430. “If that stops working and I can’t fix it, I’m a dead man. No problems.”

— Andy Weir

431. “25 kph, the rover’s top speed.”

— Andy Weir

432. “You know what? “Kilowatt-hour per sol” is a pain in the ass to say. I’m gonna invent a new scientific unit name. One kilowatt-hour per sol is... it can be anything... um... I suck at this... I’ll call it a “pirate-ninja”.”

— Andy Weir

433. “Back on Earth, universities and governments are willing to pay millions to get their hands on Mars rocks. I’m using them as ballast.”

— Andy Weir

434. “I’ll give my dad credit; he never claimed it was to build character or teach me the value of hard work. “Snowblowers are expensive,” he used to say. “You’re free.”

— Andy Weir

435. “One big bonus: e-mail! Just like the days back on Hermes, I get data dumps. Of course, they relay e-mail from friends and family, but NASA also sends along choice messages from the public. I’ve gotten e-mail from rock stars, athletes, actors and actresses, and even the President. One of them was from my alma mater, the University of Chicago. They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially “colonized” it. So technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!”

— Andy Weir

436. “For some reason, a high concentration of O2 will kill most headaches. Don’t know why. Don’t care. The important thing is I don’t have to suffer.”

— Andy Weir

437. “Life is amazingly tenacious.”

— Andy Weir

438. “I would have done it today, but it got dark and I got lazy.”

— Andy Weir

439. “The moon is a nice place to pass out. You hit the ground very gently.”

— Andy Weir

440. “Hartnell’s was for drinking. And you could get any drink you wanted, as long as it was beer.”

— Andy Weir

441. “Don’t worry about it.” I climbed out of the basin and dropped four meters to the ground. I pulled a chair toward me, spun it around, and straddled it. I rested my chin on my palm and got lost in thought. Trond sidled over. “So?” “Thinking,” I said. “Do women know how sexy they look when they sit like that?” “Of course.” “I knew it!” “Trying to concentrate.” “Sorry.”

— Andy Weir

442. “He hadn’t expected a woman to recommend hookers. Earthers tend to be uptight on that topic, and I’ve never understood why. It’s a service performed for a payment. What’s the big deal?”

— Andy Weir

443. “First off, Dad, it’s not petty vandalism. It’s extreme vandalism.”

— Andy Weir

444. “Three days off the painkillers and I’m a lot smarter than I was. At least he understands that much – I wasn’t just some stupid human. I was a human with enhanced stupidity.”

— Andy Weir

445. “I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

446. “The walls were lined with thick plastic sheets, all held together with some kind of special tape.”

— Andy Weir

447. “La gente ha estado usando detritos humanos como fertilizante durante siglos.”

— Andy Weir

448. “So lab-coated geeks got together and decided Mars’s elevation zero is wherever the air pressure is 610.5 pascals.”

— Andy Weir

449. “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said.”

— Andy Weir

450. “So what do we do, then? He’s not going to decompose. He’ll be there forever.” “Not forever,” Teddy said. “Within a year, he’ll be covered in sand from normal weather activity.”

— Andy Weir