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Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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Andy Weir Quote: “I can’t see you having any control if you did that,” Lewis said. “You’d be eyeballing the intercept and using a thrust vector you can barely control.” “I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.”

301. “I can’t see you having any control if you did that,” Lewis said. “You’d be eyeballing the intercept and using a thrust vector you can barely control.” “I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It just feels nice to be an astronaut again. That’s all it is. Not a reluctant farmer, not an electrical engineer, not a long-haul trucker. An astronaut.”

302. “It just feels nice to be an astronaut again. That’s all it is. Not a reluctant farmer, not an electrical engineer, not a long-haul trucker. An astronaut.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s not like we can do anything about it if he falls behind. This is a pointless task.” “How long have you worked for the government?” Venkat sighed.”

303. “It’s not like we can do anything about it if he falls behind. This is a pointless task.” “How long have you worked for the government?” Venkat sighed.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The only way to get all twenty-eight on the roof was to make stacks so high they’d fall off the first time I turned. If I lashed them together, they’d fall off as a unit. If I found a way to attach them perfectly to the rover, the rover would tip. I didn’t even bother to test. It was obvious by looking, and I didn’t want to break anything.”

304. “The only way to get all twenty-eight on the roof was to make stacks so high they’d fall off the first time I turned. If I lashed them together, they’d fall off as a unit. If I found a way to attach them perfectly to the rover, the rover would tip. I didn’t even bother to test. It was obvious by looking, and I didn’t want to break anything.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’ve discovered that raw potatoes are disgusting.”

305. “I’ve discovered that raw potatoes are disgusting.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “But after a morning potato and Vicodin, I was feeling much better.”

306. “But after a morning potato and Vicodin, I was feeling much better.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “My life depended on some math I’d done earlier. If I dropped a sign or added two numbers wrong, I might never wake up.”

307. “My life depended on some math I’d done earlier. If I dropped a sign or added two numbers wrong, I might never wake up.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “My lungs, now full of carbon dioxide, panic. But the adrenaline rush doesn’t give me the strength I need to escape. It just keeps me awake so I can experience death in more detail. Thanks, adrenal glands.”

308. “My lungs, now full of carbon dioxide, panic. But the adrenaline rush doesn’t give me the strength I need to escape. It just keeps me awake so I can experience death in more detail. Thanks, adrenal glands.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “First thing I did was put on the inner lining of my EVA suit. Not the bulky suit itself, just the inner clothing I wear under it, including the gloves and booties. Then I got an oxygen mask from the medical supplies and some lab goggles from Vogel’s chem kit. Almost all of my body was protected and I was breathing canned air.”

309. “First thing I did was put on the inner lining of my EVA suit. Not the bulky suit itself, just the inner clothing I wear under it, including the gloves and booties. Then I got an oxygen mask from the medical supplies and some lab goggles from Vogel’s chem kit. Almost all of my body was protected and I was breathing canned air.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Half-ration for dinner. All I accomplished today was thinking up a plan that’ll kill me, and that doesn’t take much energy.”

310. “Half-ration for dinner. All I accomplished today was thinking up a plan that’ll kill me, and that doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I was left without references and relied on Phobos to guide me. There’s probably symbolism there. Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign.”

311. “I was left without references and relied on Phobos to guide me. There’s probably symbolism there. Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If Bruce can pull a rabbit out of a hat and get done sooner, Maurice can do some inspections.”

312. “If Bruce can pull a rabbit out of a hat and get done sooner, Maurice can do some inspections.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “At 13:30 my ruination occurred, though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

313. “At 13:30 my ruination occurred, though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You guys know about climate change, right? How our CO2 emissions have caused a lot of problems in the environment?” “My dad says that’s not real,” said Tamora. “Well, it is,” I said. “Anyway.”

314. “You guys know about climate change, right? How our CO2 emissions have caused a lot of problems in the environment?” “My dad says that’s not real,” said Tamora. “Well, it is,” I said. “Anyway.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I tried to send a message, but Pathfinder isn’t responding. That’s not a big surprise. It’s powered directly from the Hab, and the Hab is offline. During my brief, panicked scramble outside, I saw that Pathfinder was right where I left it, and the debris didn’t reach that far out. It should be fine, once I get it some power.”

315. “I tried to send a message, but Pathfinder isn’t responding. That’s not a big surprise. It’s powered directly from the Hab, and the Hab is offline. During my brief, panicked scramble outside, I saw that Pathfinder was right where I left it, and the debris didn’t reach that far out. It should be fine, once I get it some power.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The airlock door doesn’t reach the ceiling, so I’ll have to play “The Floor Is Lava” to get in.”

316. “The airlock door doesn’t reach the ceiling, so I’ll have to play “The Floor Is Lava” to get in.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’ve gone from “sole-surviving space explorer” to “guy with wacky new roommate.”

317. “I’ve gone from “sole-surviving space explorer” to “guy with wacky new roommate.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You started my training by buying me a beer. For breakfast. Germans are awesome.”

318. “You started my training by buying me a beer. For breakfast. Germans are awesome.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If you commit a serious crime, Artemis deports you to the victim’s country. Let their nation exact revenge on you for it.”

319. “If you commit a serious crime, Artemis deports you to the victim’s country. Let their nation exact revenge on you for it.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Beers for everyone if I get back to Earth.”

320. “Beers for everyone if I get back to Earth.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Every city needs an underbelly. It’s best to let the petty criminals do their thing and focus on bigger issues.”

321. “Every city needs an underbelly. It’s best to let the petty criminals do their thing and focus on bigger issues.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

322. “Because if he takes off his helmet, he’ll die.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m in my space suit on Mars and I’m navigating with sixteenth-century tools. But hey, they work.”

323. “I’m in my space suit on Mars and I’m navigating with sixteenth-century tools. But hey, they work.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I opened and closed my hands a few times. The bandages were off, but both hands were littered with red blisters. I looked like a leper. Or a hooker who gave handjobs exclusively to lepers.”

324. “I opened and closed my hands a few times. The bandages were off, but both hands were littered with red blisters. I looked like a leper. Or a hooker who gave handjobs exclusively to lepers.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You have been a bad alien cylinder,” I say to it. “You need a time-out.”

325. “You have been a bad alien cylinder,” I say to it. “You need a time-out.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “If we do this,” Vogel said, “it would be over one thousand days of space. This is enough space for a life. I do not need to return.”

326. “If we do this,” Vogel said, “it would be over one thousand days of space. This is enough space for a life. I do not need to return.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Software engineers are sneaky bastards when it comes to data management.”

327. “Software engineers are sneaky bastards when it comes to data management.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s almost time for the second harvest. Ayup. I wish I had a straw hat and some suspenders.”

328. “It’s almost time for the second harvest. Ayup. I wish I had a straw hat and some suspenders.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I need some encouragement. I need to ask myself, “What would an Apollo astronaut do?”

329. “I need some encouragement. I need to ask myself, “What would an Apollo astronaut do?”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “The problem with small pressure vessels is CO2 toxicity. You can have all the oxygen in the world, but once the CO2 gets above 1 percent, you’ll start to get drowsy. At 2 percent, it’s like being drunk. At 5 percent, it’s hard to stay conscious. Eight percent will eventually kill you. Staying alive isn’t about oxygen, it’s about getting rid of CO2.”

330. “The problem with small pressure vessels is CO2 toxicity. You can have all the oxygen in the world, but once the CO2 gets above 1 percent, you’ll start to get drowsy. At 2 percent, it’s like being drunk. At 5 percent, it’s hard to stay conscious. Eight percent will eventually kill you. Staying alive isn’t about oxygen, it’s about getting rid of CO2.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Three days off the painkillers and I’m a lot smarter than I was. At least he understands that much – I wasn’t just some stupid human. I was a human with enhanced stupidity.”

331. “Three days off the painkillers and I’m a lot smarter than I was. At least he understands that much – I wasn’t just some stupid human. I was a human with enhanced stupidity.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’ve been so busy staying alive I never thought of what this must be like for my parents.”

332. “I’ve been so busy staying alive I never thought of what this must be like for my parents.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I spent three months as the loneliest man in history and it’s finally over.”

333. “I spent three months as the loneliest man in history and it’s finally over.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “You could be less of an ass.” “I could,” I said. “But it’s not likely.”

334. “You could be less of an ass.” “I could,” I said. “But it’s not likely.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “For some reason, a high concentration of O2 will kill most headaches. Don’t know why. Don’t care. The important thing is I don’t have to suffer.”

335. “For some reason, a high concentration of O2 will kill most headaches. Don’t know why. Don’t care. The important thing is I don’t have to suffer.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Something very hot and very explodey had happened, and I wasn’t sure what. Or how.”

336. “Something very hot and very explodey had happened, and I wasn’t sure what. Or how.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

337. “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m sure it’ll turn out to be a little hole somewhere, then NASA will have four hours of meetings before telling me to cover it with duct tape.”

338. “I’m sure it’ll turn out to be a little hole somewhere, then NASA will have four hours of meetings before telling me to cover it with duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Rocky’s word for “one” is just two notes played at the same time.”

339. “Rocky’s word for “one” is just two notes played at the same time.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Mars is not Earth. It doesn’t have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. It’s damn near a vacuum here.”

340. “Mars is not Earth. It doesn’t have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. It’s damn near a vacuum here.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

341. “It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “I didn’t want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.”

342. “I didn’t want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “There’s no way to be sure,” Irene said. “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

343. “There’s no way to be sure,” Irene said. “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Mars keeps trying to kill me.”

344. “Mars keeps trying to kill me.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

345. “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue. Anyway, one problem at a time. Right now I’m fixing the EVA suit. AUDIO.”

346. “And where will that “safety” be? Not a damn clue. Anyway, one problem at a time. Right now I’m fixing the EVA suit. AUDIO.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

347. “Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.”

348. “It’s a terrible thing to have my life depend on my half-assed handiwork.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “They see the water reclaimer as a critical survival element. There’s no backup, and they think I’ll die instantly without it. To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

349. “They see the water reclaimer as a critical survival element. There’s no backup, and they think I’ll die instantly without it. To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quote: “Or maybe they’ll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.”

350. “Or maybe they’ll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.”

— Andy Weir

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