Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2025 Update)
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251. “The problem with small pressure vessels is CO2 toxicity. You can have all the oxygen in the world, but once the CO2 gets above 1 percent, you’ll start to get drowsy. At 2 percent, it’s like being drunk. At 5 percent, it’s hard to stay conscious. Eight percent will eventually kill you. Staying alive isn’t about oxygen, it’s about getting rid of CO2.”

— Andy Weir

252. “Jesus, what a complicated process,” Venkat said. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said. After a moment of silence, Tim said, “You know he was telling a joke, right? That was supposed to be funny.” “Oh,” said Venkat. “I’m a physics guy, not a computer guy.” “He’s not funny to computer guys, either.” “You’re a very unpleasant man, Tim,” Jack said.”

— Andy Weir

253. “Mars keeps trying to kill me.”

— Andy Weir

254. “Come on! I thought you liked Mexican!”

— Andy Weir

255. “Venkat pulled out his cell phone. “We lost contact with Pathfinder in 1997. If he can get it online again, we can communicate. It might just need the solar cells cleaned. Even if it’s got a bigger problem, he’s an engineer!” Dialing, he added, “Fixing things is his job!”

— Andy Weir

256. “Venkat was silent for a moment. “Jack, I’m going to buy your whole team autographed Star Trek memorabilia.” “I prefer Star Wars,” he said, turning to leave. “The original trilogy only, of course.”

— Andy Weir

257. “I clench every part of me that I know how to clench. It gives me a feeling of control. I’m doing something by aggressively doing nothing.”

— Andy Weir

258. “That’s what smelting is, really. Removing oxygen to get pure metal. Most people don’t know it, but there’s a ridiculous amount of oxygen on the moon. You just need a shitload of energy to get it.”

— Andy Weir

259. “I’m in my space suit on Mars and I’m navigating with sixteenth-century tools. But hey, they work.”

— Andy Weir

260. “Even if it’s got a bigger problem, he’s an engineer!” Dialing, he added, “Fixing things is his job!”

— Andy Weir

261. “Yes. There’ll be wars. Fought for the same reason most wars in ancient times were fought for: food. They’d use religion or glory or whatever as an excuse, but it was always about food. Farmlands and people to work that land.”

— Andy Weir

262. “Sugar has 4000 food-calories per kilogram. One food-calorie is 4184 Joules. Sugar in zero-g will float and the grains will separate, maximizing surface area. In a pure-oxygen environment, 16.7 million joules will be released for every kilogram of sugar used, releasing the explosive force of eight sticks of dynamite. Such is the nature of combustion in pure oxygen.”

— Andy Weir

263. “I’m such a dumb-ass for not thinking of it! And my dumb-assery almost got me killed!”

— Andy Weir

264. “Half-ration for dinner. All I accomplished today was thinking up a plan that’ll kill me, and that doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

265. “There’s no way to be sure,” Irene said. “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

— Andy Weir

266. “I’ve discovered that raw potatoes are disgusting.”

— Andy Weir

267. “I’m so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that’s not the point.”

— Andy Weir

268. “I have to face facts. I’m done prepping the rover. I don’t “feel” like I’m done.”

— Andy Weir

269. “Before leaving the cockpit, I take one last look at the Telescope screen. I don’t know why – I guess I just like to keep track of what extraterrestrial ships in my vicinity are up to. The Blip-A spins in space. It rotates end-over-end, probably at the exact same rate as the Hail Mary. I guess they saw me spin up the centrifuge and figured it was another communication thing. Humanity’s first miscommunication with an intelligent alien race. Glad I could be a part of it.”

— Andy Weir

270. “No, no, no! You can’t just use ‘I’m saving the world’ as an excuse every time you’re a jerk.” She thought it over. “Yeah, okay. You may have a point.”

— Andy Weir

271. “Humanity isn’t alone in the universe. And I’ve just met our neighbors.”

— Andy Weir

272. “Rocky’s word for “one” is just two notes played at the same time.”

— Andy Weir

273. “Mars is not Earth. It doesn’t have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. It’s damn near a vacuum here.”

— Andy Weir

274. “It just feels nice to be an astronaut again. That’s all it is. Not a reluctant farmer, not an electrical engineer, not a long-haul trucker. An astronaut.”

— Andy Weir

275. “If I get back to Earth, I’m buying Bruce Ng a beer. Though I guess I should buy all the JPL guys a beer. Beers for everyone if I get back to Earth.”

— Andy Weir

276. “But more important, they’ll be cooked. When you cook food, the proteins break down, and the food becomes easier to digest. I’ll get more calories out of it, and I need every calorie I can get my hands on.”

— Andy Weir

277. “Thing is,” Chuck continued, “without the dish, a signal would have to be really strong – ” “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

278. “I’ve been so busy staying alive I never thought of what this must be like for my parents.”

— Andy Weir

279. “I learned about Sanford and Son from Lewis’s collection. Seriously, that woman needs to see someone about her seventies problem.”

— Andy Weir

280. “You may be wondering what else I do with my free time. I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But also do you, so don’t judge.”

— Andy Weir

281. “It’s all part of the life-cycle of an economy. First it’s lawless capitalism until that starts to impede growth. Next comes regulation, law enforcement, and taxes. After that: public benefits and entitlements. Then, finally, overexpenditure and collapse.”

— Andy Weir

282. “Redistribution of this e-book is permitted, so long as it is distributed for free.”

— Andy Weir

283. “After mangling the Hab, I pulled the remaining canvas down to the flooring and resealed it. Ever set up a camping tent? From the inside? While wearing a suit of armor? It was a pain in the ass.”

— Andy Weir

284. “Hey, if you want to play life safe, don’t live on the moon.”

— Andy Weir

285. “I’m not talking about faith in God, I’m talking about faith in Mark Watney.”

— Andy Weir

286. “The Hab is now a bomb.”

— Andy Weir

287. “At 13:30 my ruination occurred, though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

— Andy Weir

288. “You got me,” she said. “He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.”

— Andy Weir

289. “You could be less of an ass.” “I could,” I said. “But it’s not likely.”

— Andy Weir

290. “Mechanical suffocation, it’s called. It’s how boa constrictors kill their prey. What an odd thing to think as my last thought.”

— Andy Weir

291. “It was right where I left it, in a hole four kilometers away. Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.”

— Andy Weir

292. “Well,” he said. “It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa.” “Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?” I asked. “Because we’re nice,” Redell said. “Wow,” I said. “I know New Zealand is pretty cool but – ” “And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,” Redell said. “There it is.”

— Andy Weir

293. “This is one of those things I frequently have to explain to my students. Gravity doesn’t just “go away” when you’re in orbit. In fact, the gravity you experience in orbit is pretty much the same as you’d experience on the ground. The weightlessness that astronauts experience while in orbit comes from constantly falling. But the curvature of the Earth makes the ground go away at the same rate you fall. So you just fall forever.”

— Andy Weir

294. “Staying alive isn’t about oxygen, it’s about getting rid of CO2.”

— Andy Weir

295. “The airlock door doesn’t reach the ceiling, so I’ll have to play “The Floor Is Lava” to get in.”

— Andy Weir

296. “If that stops working and I can’t fix it, I’m a dead man. No problems.”

— Andy Weir

297. “If I were exposed to it, I’d get so much cancer, the cancer would have cancer.”

— Andy Weir

298. “I’ve gone from “sole-surviving space explorer” to “guy with wacky new roommate.”

— Andy Weir

299. “I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.”

— Andy Weir

300. “Life is amazingly tenacious.”

— Andy Weir