Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
Page 6 of 10

251. “Here’s a woman who had survived the centrifuge, the vomit comet, hard-landing drills and 10k runs. A woman who fixed a simulated MDV computer failure while being spun around upside-down. But she was afraid of a tattoo needle.”

— Andy Weir

252. “He was chosen for the mission in part because of his personality. An Ares crew has to spend thirteen months together. Social compatibility is key. Mark not only fits well in any social group, he’s a catalyst to make the group work better. It was a terrible blow to the crew when he ‘died.’” “And they.”

— Andy Weir

253. “Why does ‘Elrond’ mean ‘secret meeting’?” Annie asked. “Are we going to make a momentous decision?” Bruge Ng asked. “Exactly,” Venkat said. “How did you know that?” Annie asked, getting annoyed. “Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”

— Andy Weir

254. “My terrifying struggle to stay alive became somehow routine. Get up in the morning, eat breakfast, tend my crops, fix broken stuff, eat lunch, answer e-mail, watch TV, eat dinner, go to bed. The life of a modern farmer. Then I was a trucker, doing a long haul across the world. And finally, a construction worker, rebuilding a ship in ways no one ever considered before this.”

— Andy Weir

255. “At the microscopic level, the protein cubes were solid food particles suspended in thick vegetable oil. The food particles compressed to less than half their original size, but the oil was barely affected at all. This changed the volume ratio of solid to liquid dramatically, which in turn made the aggregate act as a liquid. Known as “liquefaction,” this process transformed the protein cubes from a steady solid into a flowing sludge.”

— Andy Weir

256. “Time for science!”

— Andy Weir

257. “What do you know? I’m in command. I wonder if this log will be recovered before the rest of the crew die of old age. I presume they got back to Earth all right. Guys, if you’re reading this: It wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to do. In your position I would have done the same thing. I don’t blame you, and I’m glad you survived.”

— Andy Weir

258. “I washed it down with some Martian coffee. That’s my name for “hot water with a caffeine pill dissolved in it.” I ran out of real coffee months ago.”

— Andy Weir

259. “I’ll drop the oxygen mixture to zero and breathe pure nitrogen until I suffocate. It wouldn’t feel bad. The lungs don’t have the ability to sense lack of oxygen. I’d just get tired, fall asleep, then die.”

— Andy Weir

260. “I’ve been thinking about laws on Mars. Yeah, I know, it’s a stupid thing to think about, but I have a lot of free time.”

— Andy Weir

261. “And have you ever heard of Skype?!”

— Andy Weir

262. “Technically it’s “Carl Sagan Memorial Station.” But with all due respect to Carl, I can call it whatever the hell I want. I’m the King of Mars.”

— Andy Weir

263. “If I make any mistakes, there’ll be nothing left but the “Mark Watney Memorial Crater” where the Hab once stood.”

— Andy Weir

264. “It seemed to work well. The seal looked strong and the resin was rock-hard. I did, however, glue my hand to the helmet.”

— Andy Weir

265. “After mangling the Hab, I pulled the remaining canvas down to the flooring and resealed it. Ever set up a camping tent? From the inside? While wearing a suit of armor? It was a pain in the ass.”

— Andy Weir

266. “I think I can work this out.”

— Andy Weir

267. “Normally a nanosyringe would be controlled by finely tuned equipment. But I just wanted some stabby time and didn’t care about the tool’s integrity.”

— Andy Weir

268. “You’d be amazed at how fast you can get going with a tiny acceleration over a long time.”

— Andy Weir

269. “I do have something flammable: my own hair. It’ll have to do. There’s a sharp knife in the tool kit. I’ll shave some arm hairs off into a little pile.”

— Andy Weir

270. “Twelve kids raise their claws.”

— Andy Weir

271. “If I were exposed to it, I’d get so much cancer, the cancer would have cancer.”

— Andy Weir

272. “Quality is quality,” Jin said. “Age is irrelevant. No one bitches about Shakespeare fans.”

— Andy Weir

273. “It’s a weird feeling, scientific breakthroughs. There’s no Eureka moment. Just a slow, steady progression toward a goal. But man, when you get to that goal it feels good.”

— Andy Weir

274. “Modifying an alien life-form. What could possibly go wrong?”

— Andy Weir

275. “Really bad ideas, but they’re ideas. Today.”

— Andy Weir

276. “But there’s something more important we need to discuss: What is it with you and disco? I can understand the ’70s TV because everyone loves hairy people with huge collars. But disco? Disco!?”

— Andy Weir

277. “I ask for a picture, and I get the Fonz.”

— Andy Weir

278. “You’re sending him to space under a tarp.” “Pretty much, yeah.” “Like a hastily loaded pickup truck.” “Yeah. Can I go on?” “Sure, can’t wait.”

— Andy Weir

279. “Humanity’s first miscommunication with an intelligent alien race. Glad I could be a part of it.”

— Andy Weir

280. “It’s a desert so old it’s literally rusting.”

— Andy Weir

281. “Ever set up a camping tent? From the inside? While wearing a suit of armor? It was a pain in the ass.”

— Andy Weir

282. “I’m going to finish off the last of Three’s Company tonight. Frankly, I like Mr. Furley more than the Ropers.”

— Andy Weir

283. “If I get back to Earth, I’m buying Bruce Ng a beer. Though I guess I should buy all the JPL guys a beer. Beers for everyone if I get back to Earth.”

— Andy Weir

284. “He curls the claws of one hand into a ball and presses it against the xenonite. “Fist me!” I push my knuckles against the xenonite. “It’s ‘fist-bump,’ but yeah.”

— Andy Weir

285. “If this becomes a negotiation by diplomats, it will never be resolved. We need to keep this among scientists. Space.”

— Andy Weir

286. “It just feels nice to be an astronaut again. That’s all it is. Not a reluctant farmer, not an electrical engineer, not a long-haul trucker. An astronaut.”

— Andy Weir

287. “I can’t see you having any control if you did that,” Lewis said. “You’d be eyeballing the intercept and using a thrust vector you can barely control.” “I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.”

— Andy Weir

288. “The only way to get all twenty-eight on the roof was to make stacks so high they’d fall off the first time I turned. If I lashed them together, they’d fall off as a unit. If I found a way to attach them perfectly to the rover, the rover would tip. I didn’t even bother to test. It was obvious by looking, and I didn’t want to break anything.”

— Andy Weir

289. “It’s not like we can do anything about it if he falls behind. This is a pointless task.” “How long have you worked for the government?” Venkat sighed.”

— Andy Weir

290. “I’ve discovered that raw potatoes are disgusting.”

— Andy Weir

291. “First thing I did was put on the inner lining of my EVA suit. Not the bulky suit itself, just the inner clothing I wear under it, including the gloves and booties. Then I got an oxygen mask from the medical supplies and some lab goggles from Vogel’s chem kit. Almost all of my body was protected and I was breathing canned air.”

— Andy Weir

292. “But after a morning potato and Vicodin, I was feeling much better.”

— Andy Weir

293. “My life depended on some math I’d done earlier. If I dropped a sign or added two numbers wrong, I might never wake up.”

— Andy Weir

294. “My lungs, now full of carbon dioxide, panic. But the adrenaline rush doesn’t give me the strength I need to escape. It just keeps me awake so I can experience death in more detail. Thanks, adrenal glands.”

— Andy Weir

295. “At 13:30 my ruination occurred, though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

— Andy Weir

296. “Half-ration for dinner. All I accomplished today was thinking up a plan that’ll kill me, and that doesn’t take much energy.”

— Andy Weir

297. “I was left without references and relied on Phobos to guide me. There’s probably symbolism there. Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign.”

— Andy Weir

298. “If Bruce can pull a rabbit out of a hat and get done sooner, Maurice can do some inspections.”

— Andy Weir

299. “The airlock door doesn’t reach the ceiling, so I’ll have to play “The Floor Is Lava” to get in.”

— Andy Weir

300. “I’ve gone from “sole-surviving space explorer” to “guy with wacky new roommate.”

— Andy Weir