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Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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Andy Weir Quote: “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

151. “The biggest threat is giving up hope. If he decides there’s no chance to survive, he’ll stop trying.”

Andy Weir Quote: “To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

152. “To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Love of science is universal across all cultures.”

153. “Love of science is universal across all cultures.”

Andy Weir Quote: “It hurts like a motherfluffer!”

154. “It hurts like a motherfluffer!”

Andy Weir Quote: “So that’s the situation. I’m stranded on Mars. I have no way to communicate with Hermes or Earth. Everyone thinks I’m dead. I’m in a Hab designed to last thirty-one days. If the oxygenator breaks down, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I’ll die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, I’ll just kind of explode. If none of those things happen, I’ll eventually run out of food and starve to death.”

155. “So that’s the situation. I’m stranded on Mars. I have no way to communicate with Hermes or Earth. Everyone thinks I’m dead. I’m in a Hab designed to last thirty-one days. If the oxygenator breaks down, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I’ll die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, I’ll just kind of explode. If none of those things happen, I’ll eventually run out of food and starve to death.”

Andy Weir Quote: “There isn’t a lot of water here on Mars. There’s ice at the poles, but they’re too far away. If I want water, I’ll have to make it from scratch. Fortunately, I know the recipe: Take hydrogen. Add oxygen. Burn.”

156. “There isn’t a lot of water here on Mars. There’s ice at the poles, but they’re too far away. If I want water, I’ll have to make it from scratch. Fortunately, I know the recipe: Take hydrogen. Add oxygen. Burn.”

Andy Weir Quote: “The airlock’s on its side, and I can hear a steady hiss. So either it’s leaking or there are snakes in here. Either way, I’m in trouble.”

157. “The airlock’s on its side, and I can hear a steady hiss. So either it’s leaking or there are snakes in here. Either way, I’m in trouble.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Anyway, it means I can finally eat meat. Yes, that’s right, I’m eating human meat. But it’s my own meat, and I don’t feel bad about it. Spend a decade eating nothing but odd-tasting, vaguely sweet vitamin shakes and then see if you’ll turn down a burger. I love meburgers. I eat one every day.”

158. “Anyway, it means I can finally eat meat. Yes, that’s right, I’m eating human meat. But it’s my own meat, and I don’t feel bad about it. Spend a decade eating nothing but odd-tasting, vaguely sweet vitamin shakes and then see if you’ll turn down a burger. I love meburgers. I eat one every day.”

Andy Weir Quote: “The Ares Program. Mankind reaching out to Mars to send people to another planet for the very first time and expand the horizons of humanity blah, blah, blah.”

159. “The Ares Program. Mankind reaching out to Mars to send people to another planet for the very first time and expand the horizons of humanity blah, blah, blah.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Okay, I’ve had a good night’s sleep, and things don’t seem as hopeless as they did yesterday.”

160. “Okay, I’ve had a good night’s sleep, and things don’t seem as hopeless as they did yesterday.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Deimos is a little piece of crap that’s no good to anyone.”

161. “Deimos is a little piece of crap that’s no good to anyone.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Time to get to know my fellow patients. I don’t know who I am or why I’m here, but at least I’m not alone – aaaand they’re dead.”

162. “Time to get to know my fellow patients. I don’t know who I am or why I’m here, but at least I’m not alone – aaaand they’re dead.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I now risked dying from oxygen toxicity, as the excessively high amount of oxygen threatened to burn up my nervous system, lungs, and eyes. An ironic death for someone with a leaky space suit: too much oxygen.”

163. “I now risked dying from oxygen toxicity, as the excessively high amount of oxygen threatened to burn up my nervous system, lungs, and eyes. An ironic death for someone with a leaky space suit: too much oxygen.”

Andy Weir Quote: “All I had left was my oxygen tank. So it did the only thing it could do to keep me alive. It started backfilling with pure oxygen. I now risked dying of oxygen toxicity, as the excessively high amount of oxygen threatened to burn up my nervous system, lungs and eyes. An ironic death for someone with a leaky space suit: too much oxygen.”

164. “All I had left was my oxygen tank. So it did the only thing it could do to keep me alive. It started backfilling with pure oxygen. I now risked dying of oxygen toxicity, as the excessively high amount of oxygen threatened to burn up my nervous system, lungs and eyes. An ironic death for someone with a leaky space suit: too much oxygen.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Well my math was a damn liar!”

165. “Well my math was a damn liar!”

Andy Weir Quote: “Option 1: Go home a hero and save all of humanity. Option 2: Go to Erid, save an alien species, and starve to death shortly after.”

166. “Option 1: Go home a hero and save all of humanity. Option 2: Go to Erid, save an alien species, and starve to death shortly after.”

Andy Weir Quote: “This all sounds like a great idea with no chance of catastrophic failure.”

167. “This all sounds like a great idea with no chance of catastrophic failure.”

Andy Weir Quote: “But in the end, if everything goes to plan, I’ll have 92 square meters of crop-able soil. Hell yeah I’m a botanist! Fear my botany powers!”

168. “But in the end, if everything goes to plan, I’ll have 92 square meters of crop-able soil. Hell yeah I’m a botanist! Fear my botany powers!”

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.”

169. “It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Yuri Gagarin had a much more reliable and safe ship than I do. And Soviet ships were death traps.”

170. “Yuri Gagarin had a much more reliable and safe ship than I do. And Soviet ships were death traps.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But so do you, so don’t judge.”

171. “I spend a lot of it sitting around on my lazy ass watching TV. But so do you, so don’t judge.”

Andy Weir Quote: “The hardest part about working with aliens and saving humanity from extinction is constantly having to come up with names for stuff.”

172. “The hardest part about working with aliens and saving humanity from extinction is constantly having to come up with names for stuff.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Oh thank God. I can’t imagine explaining “sleep” to someone who had never heard of it. Hey, I’m going to fall unconscious and hallucinate for a while. By the way, I spend a third of my time doing this. And if I can’t do it for a while, I go insane and eventually die. No need for concern.”

173. “Oh thank God. I can’t imagine explaining “sleep” to someone who had never heard of it. Hey, I’m going to fall unconscious and hallucinate for a while. By the way, I spend a third of my time doing this. And if I can’t do it for a while, I go insane and eventually die. No need for concern.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet.”

174. “I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Nothing like a language barrier to make people leave you alone.”

175. “Nothing like a language barrier to make people leave you alone.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Disco. God damn it, Lewis.”

176. “Disco. God damn it, Lewis.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Yeah? Well, hell’s coming back to you, Stratt. In the form of me. I’m hell.”

177. “Yeah? Well, hell’s coming back to you, Stratt. In the form of me. I’m hell.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Seems odd that a species could invent interstellar travel before inventing the transistor, but hey, Earth invented nuclear power, television, and even did several space launches before the transistor.”

178. “Seems odd that a species could invent interstellar travel before inventing the transistor, but hey, Earth invented nuclear power, television, and even did several space launches before the transistor.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

179. “I can see it now: me holding a map, scratching my head, trying to figure out how I ended up on Venus.”

Andy Weir Quote: “What would you call an organism that exists on a diet of stars?”

180. “What would you call an organism that exists on a diet of stars?”

Andy Weir Quote: “Voy a abandonar Marte hoy, de una forma o de otra. Ya era hora, joder.”

181. “Voy a abandonar Marte hoy, de una forma o de otra. Ya era hora, joder.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Martinez and Johanssen floated down the hall toward Docking Port A. “So,” he said, “who would you have eaten first?” She glared at him. “’Cause I think I’d be tastiest,” he continued, flexing his arm. “Look at that. Good solid muscle there.” “You’re not funny.” “I’m free-range, you know. Corn-fed.” She shook her head and accelerated down the hall. “Come on! I thought you liked Mexican!” “Not listening,” she called back.”

182. “Martinez and Johanssen floated down the hall toward Docking Port A. “So,” he said, “who would you have eaten first?” She glared at him. “’Cause I think I’d be tastiest,” he continued, flexing his arm. “Look at that. Good solid muscle there.” “You’re not funny.” “I’m free-range, you know. Corn-fed.” She shook her head and accelerated down the hall. “Come on! I thought you liked Mexican!” “Not listening,” she called back.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I’m not good with people. Sometimes I’m difficult. I wish people would just tell me.”

183. “I’m not good with people. Sometimes I’m difficult. I wish people would just tell me.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I don’t want a job. When I grow up I want to be rich.”

184. “I don’t want a job. When I grow up I want to be rich.”

Andy Weir Quote: “One of them was from my alma mater, the University of Chicago. They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially “colonized” it. So technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!”

185. “One of them was from my alma mater, the University of Chicago. They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially “colonized” it. So technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!”

Andy Weir Quote: “Water boils at 61 degrees Celsius here, so that’s as hot as tea or coffee can be. Apparently it’s disgustingly cold to people who aren’t used to it.”

186. “Water boils at 61 degrees Celsius here, so that’s as hot as tea or coffee can be. Apparently it’s disgustingly cold to people who aren’t used to it.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Technically it’s “Carl Sagan Memorial Station.” But with all due respect to Carl, I can call it whatever the hell I want. I’m the King of Mars.”

187. “Technically it’s “Carl Sagan Memorial Station.” But with all due respect to Carl, I can call it whatever the hell I want. I’m the King of Mars.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I clench every part of me that I know how to clench. It gives me a feeling of control. I’m doing something by aggressively doing nothing.”

188. “I clench every part of me that I know how to clench. It gives me a feeling of control. I’m doing something by aggressively doing nothing.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Naturally,” Teddy said. “Astronauts are inherently insane. And really noble. What’s the idea?”

189. “Naturally,” Teddy said. “Astronauts are inherently insane. And really noble. What’s the idea?”

Andy Weir Quote: “Intelligence evolves to gives us an advantage over the other animals on our planet. But evolution is lazy. Once a problem is solved, the trait stops evolving. So you and me, we’re both just intelligent enough to be smarter than our planet’s other animals.”

190. “Intelligence evolves to gives us an advantage over the other animals on our planet. But evolution is lazy. Once a problem is solved, the trait stops evolving. So you and me, we’re both just intelligent enough to be smarter than our planet’s other animals.”

Andy Weir Quote: “You’d be amazed at how fast you can get going with a tiny acceleration over a long time.”

191. “You’d be amazed at how fast you can get going with a tiny acceleration over a long time.”

Andy Weir Quote: “And yeah, its hands look like Rocky’s hands, broadly speaking. Three fingers. About the same size as Rocky’s hands. Probably controlled with a Nintendo Power Glove kind of thing inside the ship. Man, I’m old.”

192. “And yeah, its hands look like Rocky’s hands, broadly speaking. Three fingers. About the same size as Rocky’s hands. Probably controlled with a Nintendo Power Glove kind of thing inside the ship. Man, I’m old.”

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s a weird feeling, scientific breakthroughs. There’s no Eureka moment. Just a slow, steady progression toward a goal. But man, when you get to that goal it feels good.”

193. “It’s a weird feeling, scientific breakthroughs. There’s no Eureka moment. Just a slow, steady progression toward a goal. But man, when you get to that goal it feels good.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Any concerns or reservations?” Venkat asked. “Yeah. I’m concerned about what I ate last night. I think it had an eyeball in it.” “I’m sure there wasn’t an eyeball.” “The engineers here made it for me special,” Mitch said. “There may have been an eyeball,” Venkat said. “They hate you.”

194. “Any concerns or reservations?” Venkat asked. “Yeah. I’m concerned about what I ate last night. I think it had an eyeball in it.” “I’m sure there wasn’t an eyeball.” “The engineers here made it for me special,” Mitch said. “There may have been an eyeball,” Venkat said. “They hate you.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Jesus, what a complicated process,” Venkat said. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said. After a moment of silence, Tim said, “You know he was telling a joke, right? That was supposed to be funny.”

195. “Jesus, what a complicated process,” Venkat said. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said. After a moment of silence, Tim said, “You know he was telling a joke, right? That was supposed to be funny.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Really bad ideas, but they’re ideas. Today.”

196. “Really bad ideas, but they’re ideas. Today.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Adding it to water and active bacteria would quickly get it inundated, replacing any population killed by the Toilet of Doom.”

197. “Adding it to water and active bacteria would quickly get it inundated, replacing any population killed by the Toilet of Doom.”

Andy Weir Quote: “It’s short for soft-landed grams. S-L-G. Slug. One slug gets one gram of cargo delivered from Earth to Artemis, courtesy of KSC.”

198. “It’s short for soft-landed grams. S-L-G. Slug. One slug gets one gram of cargo delivered from Earth to Artemis, courtesy of KSC.”

Andy Weir Quote: “Resistors heat up. It’s what they do.”

199. “Resistors heat up. It’s what they do.”

Andy Weir Quote: “I wish Rocky were here. I always wish Rocky were here.”

200. “I wish Rocky were here. I always wish Rocky were here.”

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