Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2026 Update)
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51. “I never realized how utterly silent Mars is. It’s a desert world with practically no atmosphere to convey sound. I could hear my own heartbeat.”

— Andy Weir

52. “You and me science how to kill Astrophage together. Save Earth. Save Erid. This is good plan, question?”

— Andy Weir

53. “For tonight, I have to get back to Three’s Company. I stopped last night in the middle of the episode where Mr. Roper saw something and took it out of context.”

— Andy Weir

54. “That’s pretty much a rule in electronics: You never get diodes right on the first try.”

— Andy Weir

55. “Mars is a barren wasteland and I am completely alone here. I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

56. “Jesus Christ, I’d give anything for a five-minute conversation with anyone. Anyone, anywhere. About anything. I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet. Okay, enough moping. I am having a conversation with someone: whoever reads this log. It’s a bit one-sided but it’ll have to do. I might die, but damn it, someone will know what I had to say.”

— Andy Weir

57. “Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign.”

— Andy Weir

58. “Light is a funny thing. Its wavelength defines what it can and can’t interact with. Anything smaller than the wavelength is functionally nonexistent to that photon. That’s why there’s a mesh over the window of a microwave. The holes in the mesh are too small for microwaves to pass through. But visible light, with a much shorter wavelength, can go through freely.”

— Andy Weir

59. “If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.”

— Andy Weir

60. “It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go I’m the first. Step outside the Rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet!”

— Andy Weir

61. “He points to his ship. “I have twenty-two million kilograms of Taumoeba in fuel bays. How much you want, question?”

— Andy Weir

62. “Math is not thinking. Math is procedure. Memory is not thinking. Memory is storage. Thinking is thinking. Problem, solution. You and me think same speed. Why, question?”

— Andy Weir

63. “Mars is not Earth. It doesn’t have a thick atmosphere to bend light and carry particles that reflect light around corners. It’s damn near a vacuum here. Once the sun isn’t visible, I’m in the dark. Phobos gives me some moonlight, but not enough to work with. Deimos is a little piece of crap that’s no good to anyone.”

— Andy Weir

64. “Sometimes, the stuff we all hate ends up being the only way to do things.”

— Andy Weir

65. “Like I said, it’s a Mary flyby.”

— Andy Weir

66. “I don’t want to come off as arrogant here, but I’m the best botanist on the planet.”

— Andy Weir

67. “Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.” He points to the breeder tanks. “Check tanks!”

— Andy Weir

68. “Well, you’re not alone anymore, buddy,” I say. “Neither of us are.”

— Andy Weir

69. “It just goes to show,” Teddy said. “Love of science is universal across all cultures.”

— Andy Weir

70. “In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”

— Andy Weir

71. “But the safety protocols turned out to be in ROMs.”

— Andy Weir

72. “Fun fact: This is exactly how the Apollo 1 crew died. Wish me luck!”

— Andy Weir

73. “In the game I played a cleric. One of the magic spells I could cast was “Create Water.” I always thought it was a really stupid spell, and I never used it. Boy, what I wouldn’t give to be able to do that in real life right now.”

— Andy Weir

74. “I’m going to be setting a fire. In the Hab. On purpose. If you asked every engineer at NASA what the worst scenario for the Hab was, they’d all answer “fire.” If you asked them what the result would be, they’d answer “death by fire.”

— Andy Weir

75. “Million-mile-high club,” Martinez said. “Nice!”

— Andy Weir

76. “Well, okay. I know the answer to that. Part of it might be what I represent: progress, science, and the interplanetary future we’ve dreamed of for centuries. But really, they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. It might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true.”

— Andy Weir

77. “We’re part of the ecology, Ms. Stratt. We’re not outside it. The plants we eat, the animals we ranch, the air we breathe – it’s all part of the tapestry. It’s all connected. As the biomes collapse, it’ll have a direct impact on humanity.”

— Andy Weir

78. “How dare you call me lazy? I’d come up with a scathing retort but, meh, I’m just not motivated.”

— Andy Weir

79. “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

80. “I am sad also. But we not be sad for long. You are scientist. I am engineer. Together we solve.”

— Andy Weir

81. “We’re as smart as evolution made us. So we’re the minimum intelligence needed to ensure we can dominate our planets.”

— Andy Weir

82. “Another day, another staff meeting. Who would have thought saving the world could be so boring?”

— Andy Weir

83. “I’ve looted that poor Hab for everything it could give me, and in return it’s kept me alive for a year and a half. It’s like the Giving Tree.”

— Andy Weir

84. “I start to hyperventilate. “We’re dead in space. We’re stuck here forever.” “Not forever,” Rocky says. I perk up. “No?” “No. Orbit decay soon. Then we die.”

— Andy Weir

85. “It’s a simple idea, but also stupid. Thing is, when stupid ideas work, they become genius ideas.”

— Andy Weir

86. “I may as well yell toward Earth for all the good that damned thing will do me.”

— Andy Weir

87. “All the Ares missions use Hermes to get to and from Mars. It’s really big and cost a lot so NASA only built one.”

— Andy Weir

88. “It’s a simple idiot-proofing scheme that’s very effective. But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot.”

— Andy Weir

89. “How do I explain “impatience” to someone who lives seven hundred years?”

— Andy Weir

90. “Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

91. “Intelligence evolves to gives us an advantage over the other animals on our planet. But evolution is lazy. Once a problem is solved, the trait stops evolving.”

— Andy Weir

92. “I’m on a suicide mission. John, Paul, George, and Ringo get to go home, but my long and winding road ends here.”

— Andy Weir

93. “I’m smart enough now to know I’m stupid. That’s progress.”

— Andy Weir

94. “You have to stay hydrated if you want to save the world.”

— Andy Weir

95. “Son las cosas sencillas de la vida las que importan.”

— Andy Weir

96. “The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”

— Andy Weir

97. “Sorry for the delay,” Vogel said. “I was required to make a bomb.”

— Andy Weir

98. “Option 1: Go home a hero and save all of humanity. Option 2: Go to Erid, save an alien species, and starve to death shortly after.”

— Andy Weir

99. “But oxygen’s easier to find on Mars than you might think. The atmosphere is 95 percent CO2. And I happen to have a machine whose sole purpose is liberating oxygen from CO2. Yay, oxygenator!”

— Andy Weir

100. “I cut each potato into four pieces, making sure each piece had at least two eyes. The eyes are where they sprout from. I let them sit for a few hours to harden a bit, then planted them, well spaced apart, in the corner. Godspeed, little taters. My life depends on you.”

— Andy Weir