Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Once again I’m struck by melancholy. I want to spend the rest of my life studying Eridian biology! But I have to save humanity first. Stupid humanity. Getting in the way of my hobbies.”

— Andy Weir

52. “It just goes to show,” Teddy said. “Love of science is universal across all cultures.”

— Andy Weir

53. “Light is a funny thing. Its wavelength defines what it can and can’t interact with. Anything smaller than the wavelength is functionally nonexistent to that photon. That’s why there’s a mesh over the window of a microwave. The holes in the mesh are too small for microwaves to pass through. But visible light, with a much shorter wavelength, can go through freely.”

— Andy Weir

54. “With no magnetic field, Mars has no defense against harsh solar radiation. If I were exposed to it, I’d get so much cancer, the cancer would have cancer.”

— Andy Weir

55. “If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.”

— Andy Weir

56. “That’s pretty much a rule in electronics: You never get diodes right on the first try.”

— Andy Weir

57. “Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.” He points to the breeder tanks. “Check tanks!”

— Andy Weir

58. “But the safety protocols turned out to be in ROMs.”

— Andy Weir

59. “I don’t want to come off as arrogant here, but I’m the best botanist on the planet.”

— Andy Weir

60. “There is an object blocking my view of the Petrova line. It’s right next to my ship. Maybe a few hundred meters away. It’s roughly triangle-shaped and it has gable-like protrusions along its hull.”

— Andy Weir

61. “He points to his ship. “I have twenty-two million kilograms of Taumoeba in fuel bays. How much you want, question?”

— Andy Weir

62. “He’s two meters tall and blond as a Hitler wet dream.”

— Andy Weir

63. “How dare you call me lazy? I’d come up with a scathing retort but, meh, I’m just not motivated.”

— Andy Weir

64. “Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”

— Andy Weir

65. “Well, you’re not alone anymore, buddy,” I say. “Neither of us are.”

— Andy Weir

66. “I’m going to be setting a fire. In the Hab. On purpose. If you asked every engineer at NASA what the worst scenario for the Hab was, they’d all answer “fire.” If you asked them what the result would be, they’d answer “death by fire.”

— Andy Weir

67. “Like I said, it’s a Mary flyby.”

— Andy Weir

68. “Math is not thinking. Math is procedure. Memory is not thinking. Memory is storage. Thinking is thinking. Problem, solution. You and me think same speed. Why, question?”

— Andy Weir

69. “I may as well yell toward Earth for all the good that damned thing will do me.”

— Andy Weir

70. “Fun fact: This is exactly how the Apollo 1 crew died. Wish me luck!”

— Andy Weir

71. “Million-mile-high club,” Martinez said. “Nice!”

— Andy Weir

72. “Like, melting-the-pigeons strong,” Morris supplied. “ – for him to get it,” Chuck finished.”

— Andy Weir

73. “I’ve looted that poor Hab for everything it could give me, and in return it’s kept me alive for a year and a half. It’s like the Giving Tree.”

— Andy Weir

74. “To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”

— Andy Weir

75. “We’re as smart as evolution made us. So we’re the minimum intelligence needed to ensure we can dominate our planets.”

— Andy Weir

76. “The airlock’s on its side, and I can hear a steady hiss. So either it’s leaking or there are snakes in here. Either way, I’m in trouble.”

— Andy Weir

77. “But I have to save humanity first. Stupid humanity. Getting in the way of my hobbies.”

— Andy Weir

78. “Q. Star Wars or Star Trek? A. Doctor Who.”

— Andy Weir

79. “Well my math was a damn liar!”

— Andy Weir

80. “I cut each potato into four pieces, making sure each piece had at least two eyes. The eyes are where they sprout from. I let them sit for a few hours to harden a bit, then planted them, well spaced apart, in the corner. Godspeed, little taters. My life depends on you.”

— Andy Weir

81. “How do I explain “impatience” to someone who lives seven hundred years?”

— Andy Weir

82. “We’re part of the ecology, Ms. Stratt. We’re not outside it. The plants we eat, the animals we ranch, the air we breathe – it’s all part of the tapestry. It’s all connected. As the biomes collapse, it’ll have a direct impact on humanity.”

— Andy Weir

83. “Well, okay. I know the answer to that. Part of it might be what I represent: progress, science, and the interplanetary future we’ve dreamed of for centuries. But really, they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. It might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true.”

— Andy Weir

84. “The Ares Program. Mankind reaching out to Mars to send people to another planet for the very first time and expand the horizons of humanity blah, blah, blah.”

— Andy Weir

85. “I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet.”

— Andy Weir

86. “Sheesh – you almost ruin a mission one time and all of a sudden you have an alien-enforced bedtime.”

— Andy Weir

87. “Tomorrow night, I’ll be in Giovanni Schiaparelli’s favorite hole!”

— Andy Weir

88. “In the game I played a cleric. One of the magic spells I could cast was “Create Water.” I always thought it was a really stupid spell, and I never used it. Boy, what I wouldn’t give to be able to do that in real life right now.”

— Andy Weir

89. “You and me science how to kill Astrophage together. Save Earth. Save Erid. This is good plan, question?”

— Andy Weir

90. “The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.”

— Andy Weir

91. “In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”

— Andy Weir

92. “In your face, Neil Armstrong!”

— Andy Weir

93. “Intelligence evolves to gives us an advantage over the other animals on our planet. But evolution is lazy. Once a problem is solved, the trait stops evolving.”

— Andy Weir

94. “Sorry for the delay,” Vogel said. “I was required to make a bomb.”

— Andy Weir

95. “I am happy. You no die. Let’s save planets!”

— Andy Weir

96. “It’s a simple idiot-proofing scheme that’s very effective. But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot.”

— Andy Weir

97. “There isn’t a lot of water here on Mars. There’s ice at the poles, but they’re too far away. If I want water, I’ll have to make it from scratch. Fortunately, I know the recipe: Take hydrogen. Add oxygen. Burn.”

— Andy Weir

98. “Voy a abandonar Marte hoy, de una forma o de otra. Ya era hora, joder.”

— Andy Weir

99. “And like all good plans, it required a crazy Ukrainian guy.”

— Andy Weir

100. “Nothing like a language barrier to make people leave you alone.”

— Andy Weir