Top 500 Andy Weir Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”

— Andy Weir

2. “The planet’s famous red color is from iron oxide coating everything. So it’s not just a desert. It’s a desert so old it’s literally rusting.”

— Andy Weir

Featured in: Quotes About Mars

3. “At some point, everything’s gonna go south on you... everything’s going to go south and you’re going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home.”

— Andy Weir

4. “If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I’ll have to risk it.”

— Andy Weir

5. “This is the happiest day of my life.”

— Andy Weir

6. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

— Andy Weir

7. “I guess you could call it a “failure”, but I prefer the term “learning experience”.”

— Andy Weir

8. “It’s the simple things in life that matter.”

— Andy Weir

9. “Godspeed, little taters.”

— Andy Weir

10. “Do you believe in God? I know it’s a personal question. I do. And I think He was pretty awesome to make relativity a thing, don’t you? The faster you go, the less time you experience. It’s like He’s inviting us to explore the universe, you know?”

— Andy Weir

11. “Usually you not stupid. Why stupid, question?”

— Andy Weir

12. “Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question?”

— Andy Weir

13. “Space is dangerous. It’s what we do here. If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.”

— Andy Weir

14. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine.”

— Andy Weir

15. “We’ll keep you posted.”

— Andy Weir

16. “I laugh as I float into the lab where Rocky is waiting. “On Earth, we have a scary, deadly creature called a spider. You look like one of those. Just so you know.” “Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.” He points to the breeder tanks. “Check tanks!”

— Andy Weir

17. “Sirius 1 is complete! More accurately, Sirius 1 was aborted after one hour. I guess you could call it a “failure,” but I prefer the term “learning experience.”

— Andy Weir

18. “An Essay from Andy Weir: How Science Made Me a Writer I’m a nerd. Okay, a lot of people say that these days. But I really am. I was hired as a computer programmer for a national laboratory at age fifteen.”

— Andy Weir

19. “That’s the thing about crying yourself to sleep. When you wake up, the problems are still there.”

— Andy Weir

20. “Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.”

— Andy Weir

21. “I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe.” “You poked it with a stick?” “No!” I said. “Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.”

— Andy Weir

22. “The industrial revolution mechanized agriculture. Since then, we’ve been able to focus our energies on other things. But that’s only been the last two hundred years. Before that, most people spent most of their lives directly dealing with food production.”

— Andy Weir

23. “When stupid ideas work, they become genius ideas.”

— Andy Weir

24. “Godspeed, little taters. My life depends on you.”

— Andy Weir

25. “Mars is a barren wasteland and I am completely alone here. I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it. All around me there was nothing but dust, rocks, and endless empty desert in all directions. The planet’s famous red color is from iron oxide coating everything. So it’s not just a desert. It’s a desert so old it’s literally rusting.”

— Andy Weir

26. “I never realized how utterly silent Mars is. It’s a desert world with practically no atmosphere to convey sound. I could hear my own heartbeat.”

— Andy Weir

27. “Anyway. That’s a problem for tomorrow.”

— Andy Weir

28. “Phobos gives me some moonlight, but not enough to work with. Deimos is a little piece of crap that’s no good to anyone.”

— Andy Weir

29. “On a scale from one to ‘invade Russia in winter,’ how stupid is this plan?”

— Andy Weir

30. “Things didn’t go exactly as planned, but I’m not dead, so it’s a win.”

— Andy Weir

31. “Hell yeah I’m a botanist! Fear my botany powers!”

— Andy Weir

32. “Human beings have a remarkable ability to accept the abnormal and make it normal.”

— Andy Weir

33. “I spend a lot of time un-suiciding this suicide mission.”

— Andy Weir

34. “Deadline-induced quality issues: a problem all over the galaxy.”

— Andy Weir

35. “It’s Hydrogenville in the Hab.”

— Andy Weir

36. “Light is a funny thing. Its wavelength defines what it can and can’t interact with. Anything smaller than the wavelength is functionally nonexistent to that photon. That’s why there’s a mesh over the window of a microwave. The holes in the mesh are too small for microwaves to pass through. But visible light, with a much shorter wavelength, can go through freely.”

— Andy Weir

37. “Jesus Christ, I’d give anything for a five-minute conversation with anyone. Anyone, anywhere. About anything. I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet. Okay, enough moping. I am having a conversation with someone: whoever reads this log. It’s a bit one-sided but it’ll have to do. I might die, but damn it, someone will know what I had to say.”

— Andy Weir

38. “Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign.”

— Andy Weir

39. “It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go I’m the first. Step outside the Rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet!”

— Andy Weir

40. “That’s pretty much a rule in electronics: You never get diodes right on the first try.”

— Andy Weir

41. “For tonight, I have to get back to Three’s Company. I stopped last night in the middle of the episode where Mr. Roper saw something and took it out of context.”

— Andy Weir

42. “Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.” He points to the breeder tanks. “Check tanks!”

— Andy Weir

43. “He’s two meters tall and blond as a Hitler wet dream.”

— Andy Weir

44. “Mars is a barren wasteland and I am completely alone here. I already knew that, of course. But there’s a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it.”

— Andy Weir

45. “Once again I’m struck by melancholy. I want to spend the rest of my life studying Eridian biology! But I have to save humanity first. Stupid humanity. Getting in the way of my hobbies.”

— Andy Weir

46. “With no magnetic field, Mars has no defense against harsh solar radiation. If I were exposed to it, I’d get so much cancer, the cancer would have cancer.”

— Andy Weir

47. “I’m going to be setting a fire. In the Hab. On purpose. If you asked every engineer at NASA what the worst scenario for the Hab was, they’d all answer “fire.” If you asked them what the result would be, they’d answer “death by fire.”

— Andy Weir

48. “Like I said, it’s a Mary flyby.”

— Andy Weir

49. “I cut each potato into four pieces, making sure each piece had at least two eyes. The eyes are where they sprout from. I let them sit for a few hours to harden a bit, then planted them, well spaced apart, in the corner. Godspeed, little taters. My life depends on you.”

— Andy Weir

50. “Well, okay. I know the answer to that. Part of it might be what I represent: progress, science, and the interplanetary future we’ve dreamed of for centuries. But really, they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. It might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true.”

— Andy Weir