Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2025 Update)
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101. “Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.”

— Will Rogers

102. “The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

— Will Rogers

103. “The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President.”

— Will Rogers

104. “If you want to be successful, love what you are doing.”

— Will Rogers

105. “The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’”

— Will Rogers

106. “It’s great to be great, but its greater to be human.”

— Will Rogers

107. “We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.”

— Will Rogers

108. “Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment.”

— Will Rogers

109. “Don’t invite me if you don’t want me.”

— Will Rogers

110. “We are always yapping about the ‘Good Old Days’ and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn’t so hot.”

— Will Rogers

111. “It’s no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up, but when stocks are selling for no more than they’re worth, I tell you, being a Republican – it’s a sacrifice.”

— Will Rogers

112. “When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.”

— Will Rogers

113. “We are the only nation in the world that waits till we get into a war before we start getting ready for it.”

— Will Rogers

114. “People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.”

— Will Rogers

115. “Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.”

— Will Rogers

116. “We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.”

— Will Rogers

117. “Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.”

— Will Rogers

118. “The trouble with land is that they’re not making it anymore.”

— Will Rogers

119. “Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.”

— Will Rogers

120. “My forefathers didn’t come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.”

— Will Rogers

121. “There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.”

— Will Rogers

122. “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”

— Will Rogers

123. “I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.”

— Will Rogers

124. “You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally – did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?”

— Will Rogers

125. “Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”

— Will Rogers

126. “This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.”

— Will Rogers

127. “Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.”

— Will Rogers

128. “Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can’t figure out.”

— Will Rogers

129. “Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn’t, too.”

— Will Rogers

130. “The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.”

— Will Rogers

131. “So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.”

— Will Rogers

132. “When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you’ve got to have been looking for it.”

— Will Rogers

133. “No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.”

— Will Rogers

134. “Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.”

— Will Rogers

135. “We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.”

— Will Rogers

136. “Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.”

— Will Rogers

137. “A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.”

— Will Rogers

138. “When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that’s all there is to success is satisfaction.”

— Will Rogers

139. “We may elevate ourselves but we should never reach so high that we would every forget those who helped us get there.”

— Will Rogers

140. “I love words but I don’t like strange ones. You don’t understand them and they don’t understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know ’em the minute you see ’em.”

— Will Rogers

141. “A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.”

— Will Rogers

142. “Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.”

— Will Rogers

143. “The French couldn’t hate us any more unless we helped ’em out in another war.”

— Will Rogers

144. “There is no income tax in Russia. But there’s no income.”

— Will Rogers

145. “Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it’s not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”

— Will Rogers

146. “Plans get you into things, but you got to work your way out.”

— Will Rogers

147. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.”

— Will Rogers

148. “It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”

— Will Rogers

149. “The business of government is to keep the government out of business – that is, unless business needs government aid.”

— Will Rogers

150. “It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.”

— Will Rogers