Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2026 Update)
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101. “Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn’t, too.”

— Will Rogers

102. “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”

— Will Rogers

103. “This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.”

— Will Rogers

104. “You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.”

— Will Rogers

105. “People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.”

— Will Rogers

106. “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”

— Will Rogers

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107. “Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth.”

— Will Rogers

108. “Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.”

— Will Rogers

109. “The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President.”

— Will Rogers

110. “The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

— Will Rogers

111. “The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’”

— Will Rogers

Featured in: Country Quotes

112. “We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.”

— Will Rogers

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

113. “Don’t invite me if you don’t want me.”

— Will Rogers

114. “We are always yapping about the ‘Good Old Days’ and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn’t so hot.”

— Will Rogers

115. “We are the only nation in the world that waits till we get into a war before we start getting ready for it.”

— Will Rogers

116. “It’s no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up, but when stocks are selling for no more than they’re worth, I tell you, being a Republican – it’s a sacrifice.”

— Will Rogers

Featured in: Sacrifice Quotes

117. “People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.”

— Will Rogers

119. “Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.”

— Will Rogers

120. “We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.”

— Will Rogers

121. “Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.”

— Will Rogers

122. “The trouble with land is that they’re not making it anymore.”

— Will Rogers

123. “Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.”

— Will Rogers

124. “My forefathers didn’t come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.”

— Will Rogers

125. “We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.”

— Will Rogers

126. “There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.”

— Will Rogers

127. “I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.”

— Will Rogers

128. “You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally – did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?”

— Will Rogers

129. “Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”

— Will Rogers

130. “If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.”

— Will Rogers

131. “Don’t squat with your spurs on.”

— Will Rogers

132. “Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.”

— Will Rogers

133. “Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can’t figure out.”

— Will Rogers

134. “The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.”

— Will Rogers

135. “So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.”

— Will Rogers

136. “When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you’ve got to have been looking for it.”

— Will Rogers

137. “The only real diplomacy ever performed by a diplomat is in deceiving their own people after their dumbness has got them into a war.”

— Will Rogers

Featured in: Real Quotes

138. “No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.”

— Will Rogers

139. “A fool and his money are soon elected.”

— Will Rogers

140. “We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.”

— Will Rogers

141. “Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.”

— Will Rogers

142. “Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.”

— Will Rogers

143. “A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.”

— Will Rogers

144. “I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother.”

— Will Rogers

145. “We may elevate ourselves but we should never reach so high that we would every forget those who helped us get there.”

— Will Rogers

146. “When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that’s all there is to success is satisfaction.”

— Will Rogers

147. “I love words but I don’t like strange ones. You don’t understand them and they don’t understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know ’em the minute you see ’em.”

— Will Rogers

148. “A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.”

— Will Rogers

149. “There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don’t take much to see that something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again.”

— Will Rogers

150. “The French couldn’t hate us any more unless we helped ’em out in another war.”

— Will Rogers