“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
— Will Rogers
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”
“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.”
“Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.”
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.”
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
“A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.”
“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”
“If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”
“Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they’re not making any more.”
“Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.”
“A successful outcome shows what hard work, perseverance and taking advantage of your opportunities will do for you.”
“The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If it’s not going to go up, don’t buy it!”
“Lead your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. ”
“If you are trying to get out of the hole, stop digging.”
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity’s door if you ardently wish to enter.”
“It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.”
“Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.”
“Don’t wait to buy land, buy land and wait.”
“I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.”
“Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.”
“America is a land of opportunity and don’t ever forget it.”
“People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.”
“If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it’ll change.”
“There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”
“Don’t wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.”
“Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”
“The best way out of a difficulty is through it.”
“Just because it’s common sense, doesn’t mean it’s common practice.”
“We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.”
“What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.”
“Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”
“A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.”
“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”
“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.”
“Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.”
“The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.”
“We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.”
“The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.”
“With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.”
“When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.”
“You know you’ve got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.”
“Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up.”
“Always drink upstream from the herd.”
“When you’re through learning, you’re through.”
“An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.”
“There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.”
“Everyone is a self-made man. Only the successful admit it.”
“I never met a man that I didn’t like.”
“It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it’s the return of my investment.”
“Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.”
“What’s considered enough money? Just a little bit more.”
“A king can stand people’s fighting but he can’t last long if people start thinking.”
“Never miss a chance to shut up.”
“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”
“I am always going to do my best, no matter where I am.”
“Lord, let me live until I die.”
“Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.”
“If you want to be successful, love what you are doing.”
“I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.”
“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’”
“I’m not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.”
“It’s no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up, but when stocks are selling for no more than they’re worth, I tell you, being a Republican – it’s a sacrifice.”
“You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.”
“The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.”
“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”
“There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.”
“We have the best Congress that money can buy.”
“All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.”
“Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.”
“Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.”
“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”
“Things will get better – despite our efforts to improve them.”
“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
“This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.”
“The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.”
“We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.”
“There is not a man in the country that can’t make a living for himself and family. But he can’t make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.”
“The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
“People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.”
“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
“Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.”
“The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.”
“We are all ignorant. We are just ignorant about different things.”
“There is no income tax in Russia. But there’s no income.”
“I love words but I don’t like strange ones. You don’t understand them and they don’t understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know ’em the minute you see ’em.”
“Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment.”
“You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally – did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?”
“Common sense ain’t common.”
“When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.”
“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”
“People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.”
“Common sense is not an issue in politics – it’s an affliction.”
“Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.”
“There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.”
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