Top 100

Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2023 Update)
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Will Rogers Quote: “Rail-splitting produced an immortal president in Lincoln, but golf hasn’t produced even a good Congressman.”
Will Rogers Quote: “When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that’s Memoirs.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Labor Day, I suppose set by an Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about Labor is beyond us.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.”
Will Rogers Quote: “A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn’t know history. He don’t know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read.”
Will Rogers Quote: “I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made ’em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.”
Will Rogers Quote: “And if you call one a real estate agent and he won’t sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It’s the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn’t have to advertise it.”
Will Rogers Quote: “The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children’s playgrounds.”
Will Rogers Quote: “We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?”
Will Rogers Quote: “Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.”
Will Rogers Quote: “I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.”
Will Rogers Quote: “I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what’s going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?”
Will Rogers Quote: “There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Hundreds and hundreds of beautiful horses in the parade and a man without a silver saddle is a vagrant.”
Will Rogers Quote: “This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler.”
Will Rogers Quote: “More words ain’t good for anything in the world only to bring on more argument.”
Will Rogers Quote: “If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.”
Will Rogers Quote: “What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?”
Will Rogers Quote: “There’s the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.”
Will Rogers Quote: “The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
Will Rogers Quote: “The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.”
Will Rogers Quote: “A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.”
Will Rogers Quote: “We Americans think we are pretty good! We want to build a house, we cut down some trees. We want to build a fire, we dig a little coal. But when we run out of all these things, then we will find out just how good we really are.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down.”
Will Rogers Quote: “The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can’t even agree among our own judges?”
Will Rogers Quote: “This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
Will Rogers Quote: “We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Foreign relations is an open book – generally a checkbook.”
Will Rogers Quote: “I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there’s no accounting for anyone’s taste.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Coolidge has the best idea on this farm relief. He said, ‘Farmers, you are in a hole. I can’t help you, but I will get in with you.’ He did. That made it fine so the farmers were satisfied as long as Coolidge was going to get in with them.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Elections are a good deal like marriages. There’s no accounting for anyone’s taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it’s the same with public officials.”
Will Rogers Quote: “That’s what a Congressman or a Senator is for – to see that too much money don’t accumulate in the national Treasury.”
Will Rogers Quote: “A politician is just like a pickpocket; it’s almost impossible to get him to reform.”
Will Rogers Quote: “All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.”
Will Rogers Quote: “There ain’t nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.”
Will Rogers Quote: “All one has to do to get one’s stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the ‘Applause’ and ‘Laughter’ parts yourself.”
Will Rogers Quote: “If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.”
Will Rogers Quote: “It looks to me like any man that wants to be President in times like these lacks something.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.”
Will Rogers Quote: “There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Wine had such ill effects on Noah’s health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.”
Will Rogers Quote: “I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.”
Will Rogers Quote: “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.”
Will Rogers Quote: “We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.”
Will Rogers Quote: “Horses raise what the farmer eats and eats what the farmer raises. You can’t plow the ground and get gasoline.”
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