Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2024 Update)
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301. “There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.”

— Will Rogers

302. “Horses raise what the farmer eats and eats what the farmer raises. You can’t plow the ground and get gasoline.”

— Will Rogers

303. “Wine had such ill effects on Noah’s health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.”

— Will Rogers

304. “George Washington was quite a farmer. He was a farmer, Civil Engineer and gentleman. He made enough at civil engineering to indulge in both the other luxuries.”

— Will Rogers

305. “The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.”

— Will Rogers

306. “It looks to me like any man that wants to be President in times like these lacks something.”

— Will Rogers

307. “Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”

— Will Rogers

308. “Where I come from, they won’t let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.”

— Will Rogers

309. “I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.”

— Will Rogers

310. “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.”

— Will Rogers

311. “No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.”

— Will Rogers

312. “People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.”

— Will Rogers

313. “There is only one redeeming thing about this whole election. It will be over at sundown, and let everybody pray that it’s not a tie, for we couldn’t go through with this thing again.”

— Will Rogers

314. “The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.”

— Will Rogers

315. “The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn’t sit in a Ford with all the doors locked.”

— Will Rogers

316. “The farmers can be thankful. Didn’t the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security.”

— Will Rogers

317. “Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.”

— Will Rogers

318. “Labor leaders don’t do much laboring after they are able to lead.”

— Will Rogers

319. “Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times.”

— Will Rogers

320. “I don’t care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to. When the big nations quit meddling then the world will have peace.”

— Will Rogers

321. “Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.”

— Will Rogers

322. “Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.”

— Will Rogers

323. “A president just can’t make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.”

— Will Rogers

324. “Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones?”

— Will Rogers

325. “One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.”

— Will Rogers

326. “It’s the greatest game I ever saw. You can’t lose. Everybody buys to sell and nobody buys to keep. What’s worrying me is who is going to be the last owner. It’s just like an auction; the only one stuck is the last one.”

— Will Rogers

327. “Every time somebody has thought of relief for the farmer it has been to make it so he could borrow more money. What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more.”

— Will Rogers

328. “I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn’t like.”

— Will Rogers

329. “About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.”

— Will Rogers

330. “I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn’t just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.”

— Will Rogers

331. “The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?”

— Will Rogers

332. “Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate committee appointed to look into it.”

— Will Rogers

333. “Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature.”

— Will Rogers

334. “One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.”

— Will Rogers

335. “Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.”

— Will Rogers

336. “There’s only one thing that can kill the movies, and that’s education.”

— Will Rogers

337. “Don’t be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.”

— Will Rogers

338. “Work to make a living; serve to make a life.”

— Will Rogers

339. “I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, “Put it in land, and you can always walk on it.” We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us.”

— Will Rogers

340. “Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I’ll bet he can’t invent a good meal out of one.”

— Will Rogers

341. “Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.”

— Will Rogers

342. “I’ll bet you the time ain’t far off when a woman won’t know any more than a man.”

— Will Rogers

343. “Will somebody please tell me what they do with all the Vice-Presidents a bank has? Why the United States is the biggest business institution in the world, and they got only one Vice-President and nobody has ever found anything for him to do.”

— Will Rogers

344. “This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.”

— Will Rogers

345. “Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles’s religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?”

— Will Rogers

346. “Just read the farm relief bill. It’s just a political version of Einstein’s last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he certainly would know more than to farm. He would be a professor at Harvard.”

— Will Rogers

347. “I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.”

— Will Rogers

348. “Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.”

— Will Rogers

349. “You could be the World’s greatest orator and if you don’t say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while.”

— Will Rogers

350. “She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.”

— Will Rogers