Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2025 Update)
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301. “All one has to do to get one’s stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the ‘Applause’ and ‘Laughter’ parts yourself.”

— Will Rogers

302. “Coolidge has the best idea on this farm relief. He said, ‘Farmers, you are in a hole. I can’t help you, but I will get in with you.’ He did. That made it fine so the farmers were satisfied as long as Coolidge was going to get in with them.”

— Will Rogers

303. “That’s what a Congressman or a Senator is for – to see that too much money don’t accumulate in the national Treasury.”

— Will Rogers

304. “Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there’s no accounting for anyone’s taste.”

— Will Rogers

305. “There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.”

— Will Rogers

306. “We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.”

— Will Rogers

307. “There is only one redeeming thing about this whole election. It will be over at sundown, and let everybody pray that it’s not a tie, for we couldn’t go through with this thing again.”

— Will Rogers

308. “The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.”

— Will Rogers

309. “The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity.”

— Will Rogers

310. “Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times.”

— Will Rogers

311. “Horses raise what the farmer eats and eats what the farmer raises. You can’t plow the ground and get gasoline.”

— Will Rogers

312. “Wine had such ill effects on Noah’s health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.”

— Will Rogers

313. “People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.”

— Will Rogers

314. “George Washington was quite a farmer. He was a farmer, Civil Engineer and gentleman. He made enough at civil engineering to indulge in both the other luxuries.”

— Will Rogers

315. “Don’t be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.”

— Will Rogers

316. “It looks to me like any man that wants to be President in times like these lacks something.”

— Will Rogers

317. “I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.”

— Will Rogers

318. “I don’t care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to. When the big nations quit meddling then the world will have peace.”

— Will Rogers

319. “Where I come from, they won’t let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.”

— Will Rogers

320. “Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.”

— Will Rogers

321. “The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn’t sit in a Ford with all the doors locked.”

— Will Rogers

322. “Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones?”

— Will Rogers

323. “Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature.”

— Will Rogers

324. “Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.”

— Will Rogers

325. “The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.”

— Will Rogers

326. “The farmers can be thankful. Didn’t the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security.”

— Will Rogers

327. “Labor leaders don’t do much laboring after they are able to lead.”

— Will Rogers

328. “One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.”

— Will Rogers

329. “Every time somebody has thought of relief for the farmer it has been to make it so he could borrow more money. What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more.”

— Will Rogers

330. “Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.”

— Will Rogers

331. “Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.”

— Will Rogers

332. “It’s the greatest game I ever saw. You can’t lose. Everybody buys to sell and nobody buys to keep. What’s worrying me is who is going to be the last owner. It’s just like an auction; the only one stuck is the last one.”

— Will Rogers

333. “I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn’t like.”

— Will Rogers

334. “One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.”

— Will Rogers

335. “There’s only one thing that can kill the movies, and that’s education.”

— Will Rogers

336. “This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.”

— Will Rogers

337. “I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn’t just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.”

— Will Rogers

338. “I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, “Put it in land, and you can always walk on it.” We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us.”

— Will Rogers

339. “Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate committee appointed to look into it.”

— Will Rogers

340. “My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can’t remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.”

— Will Rogers

341. “Just read the farm relief bill. It’s just a political version of Einstein’s last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he certainly would know more than to farm. He would be a professor at Harvard.”

— Will Rogers

342. “Work to make a living; serve to make a life.”

— Will Rogers

343. “Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I’ll bet he can’t invent a good meal out of one.”

— Will Rogers

344. “Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.”

— Will Rogers

345. “The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?”

— Will Rogers

346. “I’ll bet you the time ain’t far off when a woman won’t know any more than a man.”

— Will Rogers

347. “Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.”

— Will Rogers

348. “A holding company is the people you give your money to while you’re being searched.”

— Will Rogers

349. “Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles’s religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?”

— Will Rogers

350. “You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can’t see the funny side of the other fellow.”

— Will Rogers