Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2025 Update)
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351. “A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.”

— Will Rogers

352. “I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.”

— Will Rogers

353. “Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.”

— Will Rogers

354. “You could be the World’s greatest orator and if you don’t say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while.”

— Will Rogers

355. “She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.”

— Will Rogers

356. “Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it.”

— Will Rogers

357. “Say, did you read what this writer just dug up in George Washington’s diary? I was so ashamed I sat up all night reading it.”

— Will Rogers

358. “Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.”

— Will Rogers

359. “Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else’s life.”

— Will Rogers

360. “I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they’ll get me someday.”

— Will Rogers

361. “A holding company is the people you give your money to while you’re being searched.”

— Will Rogers

362. “The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.”

— Will Rogers

363. “Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off.”

— Will Rogers

364. “Farmers have about given up hope of getting farm relief and have decided to fertilize instead.”

— Will Rogers

365. “There isn’t any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.”

— Will Rogers

366. “In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.”

— Will Rogers

367. “Every man gets an opportunity once in a lifetime.”

— Will Rogers

368. “If I studied all my life, I couldn’t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.”

— Will Rogers

369. “It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.”

— Will Rogers

370. “Farmers have more Associations, and Bureaus, and Clubs, than they have pitchforks.”

— Will Rogers

371. “After seeing kids play polo against big guys, it only shows that horses are the greatest equalizer in the world. No matter what you weigh, the little fellow is your equal on a horse.”

— Will Rogers

372. “If a thousand shares of stocks or bonds make nothing, you pay nothing. But on a thousand acres of land you pay enough to support half the community who own no land and pay no taxes.”

— Will Rogers

373. “Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they’re doing. Amen.”

— Will Rogers

374. “We cuss Congress, and we joke about ’em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn’t in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.”

— Will Rogers

375. “Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.”

— Will Rogers

376. “The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.”

— Will Rogers

377. “What’s the matter with the world? Why, there ain’t nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that’s selfishness.”

— Will Rogers

378. “In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.”

— Will Rogers

379. “I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him ‘father.’”

— Will Rogers

380. “That’s the trouble with our charities; we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain’t eating.”

— Will Rogers

381. “Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out.”

— Will Rogers

382. “The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.”

— Will Rogers

383. “You never know how much a man can’t remember until he is called as a witness.”

— Will Rogers

384. “I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain’t.”

— Will Rogers

385. “There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is.”

— Will Rogers

386. “Any person that don’t read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.”

— Will Rogers

387. “Every guy looks in his pocket and then votes.”

— Will Rogers

388. “Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.”

— Will Rogers

389. “They are having quite an argument over Treasury Secretary Mellon’s Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon wants to cut the surtax on the rich, and leave it as is on the poor, as there is more poor than rich. I suppose the majority will win.”

— Will Rogers

390. “It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.”

— Will Rogers

391. “People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth.”

— Will Rogers

392. “I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.”

— Will Rogers

393. “There will never be a time when the old horse is not superior to any auto ever made.”

— Will Rogers

394. “We all joke about Congress but we can’t improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?”

— Will Rogers

395. “Every time we have an election, we get in worse men and the country keeps right on going. Times have proven only one thing and that is you can’t ruin this country even with politics.”

— Will Rogers

396. “If you don’t have malice in our heart, it doesn’t come across harsh.”

— Will Rogers

397. “President Coolidge said, ‘I don’t want the Government to go into business.’ Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn’t worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.”

— Will Rogers

398. “I have always claimed Americans didn’t want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one.”

— Will Rogers

399. “It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don’t divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”

— Will Rogers

400. “I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.”

— Will Rogers