Top 500 Will Rogers Quotes (2025 Update)
Page 9 of 10

401. “You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand.”

— Will Rogers

402. “President Coolidge said, ‘I don’t want the Government to go into business.’ Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn’t worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.”

— Will Rogers

403. “I have always claimed Americans didn’t want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one.”

— Will Rogers

404. “It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don’t divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”

— Will Rogers

405. “I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.”

— Will Rogers

406. “In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important.”

— Will Rogers

407. “On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”

— Will Rogers

408. “Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.”

— Will Rogers

409. “Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven’t had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.”

— Will Rogers

410. “Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.”

— Will Rogers

411. “Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.”

— Will Rogers

412. “I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn’t know anything else.”

— Will Rogers

413. “I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year.”

— Will Rogers

414. “Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.”

— Will Rogers

415. “This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one.”

— Will Rogers

416. “Some say, what is the Salvation of the Movies? I say, run ’em backwards. It can’t hurt ’em and it’s worth a trial.”

— Will Rogers

417. “Every land or property owner in America would be tickled to death to pay 45 per cent of his profits, if he didn’t have to pay anything if he didn’t make it.”

— Will Rogers

418. “Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain’t saying anything.”

— Will Rogers

419. “Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.”

— Will Rogers

420. “Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would ‘pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.’ Now is a good chance to get even with ’em, by electing ’em, just to prove what a liar they are.”

— Will Rogers

421. “The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment.”

— Will Rogers

422. “We know lots of things we didn’t use to know but we don’t know any way to prevent ’em from happening.”

— Will Rogers

423. “You shake a slogan at an American and it’s just like showing a hungry dog a bone.”

— Will Rogers

424. “The country has gone sane and got back to horses.”

— Will Rogers

425. “A country can get more real joy out of just hollering for their freedom than they can if they get it.”

— Will Rogers

426. “If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.”

— Will Rogers

427. “There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.”

— Will Rogers

428. “Will Rogers used to say he wouldn’t run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.”

— Will Rogers

429. “It looks to me like the candidates are trying to relieve the farmer of his vote, instead of his debts.”

— Will Rogers

430. “How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich, or just out of the poor, as usual?”

— Will Rogers

431. “Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can’t redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with the winner, for no matter which one it is the poor fellow is going to need it.”

— Will Rogers

432. “You politicians have got to look further ahead; you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.”

— Will Rogers

433. “And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one.”

— Will Rogers

434. “The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.”

— Will Rogers

435. “I wonder if it isn’t just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.”

— Will Rogers

436. “I have a scheme for stopping war. It’s this – no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.”

— Will Rogers

437. “If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.”

— Will Rogers

438. “If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can’t protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don’t need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives.”

— Will Rogers

439. “There is a terrible lot of us who don’t think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it’s not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.”

— Will Rogers

440. “In the Middle West now you got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it.”

— Will Rogers

441. “One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.”

— Will Rogers

442. “I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.”

— Will Rogers

443. “One thing I will say about the Germans, they are always perfectly willing to give somebody’s land to somebody else.”

— Will Rogers

444. “Why don’t somebody print the truth about our present economic situation? We spent six years of wild buying on credit – everything under the sun, whether we needed it or not – and now we are having to pay for ’em, and we are howling like a pet coon.”

— Will Rogers

445. “If your Income Taxes go to help out the less fortunate, there could be no legitimate kick against it in the world. This is becoming the richest, and the poorest Country in the world. Why? Why, on account of an unequal distribution of the money.”

— Will Rogers

446. “Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.”

— Will Rogers

447. “It’s the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.”

— Will Rogers

448. “Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.”

— Will Rogers

449. “The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat.”

— Will Rogers

450. “We do more talking progress than we do progressing.”

— Will Rogers