Top 100

Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2024 Update)
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Darynda Jones Quote: “If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only “attempted” murder.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it. It was fun while it lasted.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “She has moments when she seems stable, but then so does nitroglycerin. – MEME.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I’d have a longer attention span if there weren’t so many shiny things.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Looks like macho boy’s cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy’s Porsche.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I’m currently unsupervised It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Why yes, I have discovered the joy of cooking. It’s when my husband does it. – MEME.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “She didn’t smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “An integral part of any best friend’s job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I already know I’m going to hell. At this point, it’s really go big or go home. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Life isn’t a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Your existence gives me a headache. Go stand over there.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Ahhh, friday... My second favorite F-word. -T-shirt.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “You can’t fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “The most important thing is to not be on fire. Ask someone who is on fire, and they will tell you that the most important thing is to not be on fire.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I’d just have to counteract it later with cake.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet, so if I get a life, I’ll be notified immediately. – BUMPER STICKER I.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Sorry. i just can’t seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn’t know what to think, how to act. I’ll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I don’t need Google. My wife knows everything.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “This place is like crazy on crackers.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Sometimes I crave pickles. Other times I crave the blood of my enemy. Weird. – CHARLEY DAVIDSON.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It’s a terrific lesson in economy and precession.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Uh-oh. Scolding time. She’d been scolding me every day for a week. At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she’d fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn’t have asked her about them. I thought maybe she’d redecorated.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I’m good at multitasking like that.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I totally should’ve gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “My calculations – allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general’s warning – concluded that they probably didn’t stay behind for the tacos.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We’d had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”
Darynda Jones Quote: “When people are dead, they don’t know they’re dead. It’s the same thing when people are stupid.”
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