Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2026 Update)
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251. “Justice may be blind, but she was an awesome elixir.”

— Darynda Jones

252. “Depression really did make a person want to sleep all the time. Who knew?”

— Darynda Jones

253. “I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me.”

— Darynda Jones

254. “You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.”

— Darynda Jones

255. “Holy water may fend off demons, but spiders were completely unfazed by it.”

— Darynda Jones

256. “I cannot tell you how important fresh, crisp writing is for an aspiring writer. Plot is great. The overall concept is super important. But the writing is what sells your work. It all boils down to the words you choose and the order in which you arrange them.”

— Darynda Jones

257. “But we’d never really seen eye to eye. Mostly ’cause he was much taller than I was.”

— Darynda Jones

258. “Charley Davidson, Private Investigator, Because No One Is Better At Investigating Your Privates.”

— Darynda Jones

259. “That was one thing about the Deaf community I always admired beyond belief – they were the most accepting lot I’d ever come across. It didn’t matter what else you had to deal with, blindness, mental challenges, fetal alcohol syndrome, autism, whatever else you were dealing with, if you were culturally Deaf, they accepted you as one of their own. Even, apparently, if you had supernatural sight.”

— Darynda Jones

260. “You’re the reason I get up in the morning. That, and I need to pee. – E-CARD.”

— Darynda Jones

261. “If each day is a gift, can I return last Monday?”

— Darynda Jones

262. “But give up my business? The same business I’d built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I’d sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should’ve gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”

— Darynda Jones

263. “I made a decision long ago not to make any apologies. Romance rocks, and even though my books don’t actually fall into the romance genre, I tout them as very much being about the romance. It’s fun. We’re all obsessed with it. And it’s human nature. Remember, NO APOLOGIES! Write what ’s in your heart!”

— Darynda Jones

264. “Grab me a chib, wifey. Shite’s about to get real.”

— Darynda Jones

265. “Even from a distance you burn, you scorch anyone who gets too close.”

— Darynda Jones

266. “Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.”

— Darynda Jones

267. “ADD. A lifetime of distractions.”

— Darynda Jones

268. “What you should be asking yourself,” he said, indicating Mr. Wong with a nod as the departed man hovered in my corner, “is why a being that ungodly powerful is hanging out in your apartment.”

— Darynda Jones

269. “Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it’s not going to be me, missy.”

— Darynda Jones

270. “Let me express how much I don’t care on a scale from one to bite me.”

— Darynda Jones

271. “I’m like crack. People don’t want to like me, but once they get a taste, they always come back for more.”

— Darynda Jones

272. “It pained me to imagine who she would have become, given the chance. For the life to be ripped away from someone so young just seemed so terribly, terribly unfair. “Because you’re going to die soon.” On second thought, maybe she was better off. Away from other people and most sharp objects. I had a sneaking suspicion she would have become a serial killer. Or a telemarketer. Either way.”

— Darynda Jones

273. “Showers were God’s reward for working hard enough to get dirty.”

— Darynda Jones

274. “Damn it, I needed The Idiot’s Guide to Grim Reaperism.”

— Darynda Jones

275. “I guess it’s a good thing you can have a relationship with a departed,” he said. “Why’s that?” “We can still see each other after I die.”

— Darynda Jones

276. “Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn’t gay, which was too bad because then I could tell him how hot he was without him getting the wrong idea.”

— Darynda Jones

277. “I was more than willing to put aside the Charley Davidson Book of Etiquette and Mud Wrestling if it resulted in earth-shattering orgasms.”

— Darynda Jones

278. “I watched as Reyes fell, a scream I couldn’t hear wrenched from my throat as I waited for him to do something. For him to react. To save himself. It was Reyes, after all. He could do anything.”

— Darynda Jones

279. “The FBI had finally wised up and put Charley Davidson on the task of bringing a killer to justice. Because that’s what Charley did. Brought killers to justice. She also found lost dogs, exposed cheating spouses, and tracked down the occasional skip. And she rarely referred to herself in the third person.”

— Darynda Jones

280. “Valencia gave Osh a once-over and smirked. I wanted to tell him Osh only looked like a kid, but he’d find that out soon enough. Osh was on him so fast, he was impossible to see. He pinned him against a wall, then lowered his mouth onto the.”

— Darynda Jones

281. “I’d tried to be washed of my sin once, but I ran out of Dial. Tricky business, that.”

— Darynda Jones

282. “You know, I was thinking about my in-laws.” I strolled closer, craving his heat. And his scent. And the power that continuously hummed through him like an infinite source of energy. “You know, from your supernatural side? By being married to you, I am Satan’s daughter-in-law, Jehova’s sister-in-law, and Jesus’s aunt by marriage.”

— Darynda Jones

283. “There are two night guards here, and I’m not sure which one is on duty. If it’s the female, Garrett’s on. If it’s the male, this whole thing will rest in your hands, Osh.”

— Darynda Jones

284. “Cookie’s cousin Lucille, for example. Or her second cousins. Or her uncle on her mother’s side. Her whole family, in fact, was a Harvard study waiting to happen.”

— Darynda Jones

285. “I wouldnae refuse a square go, but I’d best warn ye, I’m solid.” It.”

— Darynda Jones

286. “If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.”

— Darynda Jones

287. “He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.”

— Darynda Jones

288. “I tried to roll out of Reyes’s arms. He tightened his hold. I tried to lift an arm off me, but he clasped his fingers, essentially locking me in. “Reyes,” I said, stifling a giggle, “I know you’re awake. You can give up the game.” “Never,” he said into his pillow.”

— Darynda Jones

289. “No offense, but what on earth could I ask of you that would be a great hardship?” His gaze rested on my mouth before making its way to my eyes again. “You could ask for the world, and then where would civilization be when I conquered it and laid it at your feet?”

— Darynda Jones

290. “Her dad shows up, and instead of getting mad at Denise, he wraps his arm around her and helps her to his car like she’s crippled. I could’ve crippled her. Missed my chance.”

— Darynda Jones

291. “You didn’t bring any C-4, did you?” “Javier, you have to let that go. Let bygones be bygones.” He pulled his sidearm and clicked off the safety. “I’ll show you bygones.” “Now, now,” Garrett said, wrestling the gun from him. “Charley brings out the worst in all of us. It’s not her fault.” “He’s right,” I said. “I have a condition.”

— Darynda Jones

292. “We don’t read to observe the character from a distance. We read to become the character and experience the conflicts and rewards they are experiencing.”

— Darynda Jones

293. “The horror that riveted through me, the absolute terror with a taint of nausea, stunned me speechless for three, maybe four seconds. I put the mug down and made a cross with my fingers, screaming, “Death before decaf!” as Garrett poured himself a cup. The fool.”

— Darynda Jones

294. “You look like heaven,” he said. “That’s weird, because you look like hell.”

— Darynda Jones

295. “That Reyes Farrow boy.”

— Darynda Jones

296. “His gaze rested on my mouth before making its way to my eyes again. “You could ask for the world, and then where would civilization be when I conquered it and laid it at your feet?”

— Darynda Jones

297. “As it stood, I was having to do way more legwork than I’d planned when I decided on these boots.”

— Darynda Jones

298. “You almost exploded. Which, thank goodness, you didn’t. You’d never have come out of Garrett’s carpet.”

— Darynda Jones

299. “I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.”

— Darynda Jones

300. “Of all the strange events in my life, that was by far the weirdest I’d had in hours.”

— Darynda Jones