Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2026 Update)
Page 5 of 10

201. “Reyes and I sat arm in arm in the back of the rented SUV. He seemed relieved. Happy.”

— Darynda Jones

202. “I told Bobert and Cookie about the hypothetical man and his hypothetical family. She didn’t fall for it. Damn her and her psychic abilities. I’d have to watch what I said around her. No! I’d have to watch what I thought around her. Crap, this was going to be hard.”

— Darynda Jones

203. “It was the whole rote memory thing. I’d woken up in that alley knowing how to talk. How to walk. How to search the Internet. And I woke up in love. It was ingrained in my DNA. I loved Reyes Farrow. I craved him, and there was nothing I could do about it.”

— Darynda Jones

204. “Being an adult means never having to show your work on math problems. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

205. “I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.”

— Darynda Jones

206. “You want cookies?” she asked, her Texas accent at odds with her Asian features.”

— Darynda Jones

207. “Danger: Attitude subject to change without notice.”

— Darynda Jones

208. “Crazy chicks are usually pretty tough.”

— Darynda Jones

209. “ALWAYS hook a reader. If a detail is unnecessary, it doesn’t belong in your work, long or short! Make everything intriguing. If you have to describe a desk, make it awesome.”

— Darynda Jones

210. “Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick...”

— Darynda Jones

211. “If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your thing.”

— Darynda Jones

212. “That big, beautiful ball of fire I’d so often complained about as a resident of New Mexico, where sunshine was damned near a daily occurrence.”

— Darynda Jones

213. “I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.”

— Darynda Jones

214. “Of course I’m an organ donor. Who wouldn’t want a piece of this? – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

215. “You realize that by summoning me here, you signed your own death warrant.” Demons were nothing to take lightly. I’d seen what they were capable of, but I also knew they were no match against the light that shone inside me. “I do,” it said, and I fought to place the language we were speaking. I knew it was ancient. Possibly the first language ever spoken in the universe. “Unless we sign yours first.” “Is that what you think will happen here?” “Dutch,” Reyes said into my ear, “stop playing with your dinner.”

— Darynda Jones

216. “Read. Write. Read some more. Explore the universe through your writing. Practice and learn what moves you and what doesn’t.”

— Darynda Jones

217. “Uncle Bob was about to kill the lot of us, screaming about how unfair it was to play poker with a bunch of mutants with supernatural gifts. I felt the name-calling was a not-so-silent cry for help, but he refused to agree to therapy. Donovan offered to roofie him, so that was nice. I shook my head, though. He’d totally arrest us all. Especially me.”

— Darynda Jones

218. “We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours. – BUMPER STICKER.”

— Darynda Jones

219. “Screw the beaten path! Do your thing. Write the best story you can. the rest will fall into place.”

— Darynda Jones

220. “You are the worst greeter in the history of greeters ever. In the history. Of time. And greeters.” “Greeter? You think I’m a greeter?” Talk about a demotion. “Yes. To the other side?” She pointed up. “Dude, calling me a greeter is like calling Saint Peter a ticket taker.”

— Darynda Jones

221. “Just because I see dead people doesn’t mean I want to be dead people.”

— Darynda Jones

222. “I kept my head down and my breathing steady. No idea why. I totally felt like a sniper in the marines. Only I was pregnant. Other than that, and the fact that I couldn’t snipe if they’d paid me to, I embodied all that a sniper should be. Stealth. Grace. The patience of a panther on the prowl.”

— Darynda Jones

223. “Never underestimate the power of a woman on a double espresso with a mocha latte chaser high.”

— Darynda Jones

224. “I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn’t ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos.”

— Darynda Jones

225. “And that most people would never understand the devastating need of those left behind, the need to know the truth.”

— Darynda Jones

226. “See owner for mounting instructions. – NOVELTY UNDERWEAR.”

— Darynda Jones

227. “What in the name of Zeus’s testicles?”

— Darynda Jones

228. “Four out of three people are bad at math.”

— Darynda Jones

229. “Were you planning on telling me?” I asked my husband. “Not today,” he said. I stood aghast. No idea why. The guy had more secrets than Victoria.”

— Darynda Jones

230. “A wine, please.” “Ma’am, this is McDonald’s.” “Okay, a McWine, please.”

— Darynda Jones

231. “Lord, help me be the sort of person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.”

— Darynda Jones

232. “There is a fine line between love and hate, or haven’t you heard? Sometimes it’s hard to decipher exactly which emotion is strongest.”

— Darynda Jones

233. “It takes thirty-three days to write a book – only thirty-three days. remember, writers lie for a living.”

— Darynda Jones

234. “Are you ready?” she asked, whispering. “Ready as a drunk virgin on prom night.”

— Darynda Jones

235. “No one could have survived that fall. Not even a supernatural being. Not even the son of Satan. He lay there, unmoving, and I could not wrap my head around it.”

— Darynda Jones

236. “I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.”

— Darynda Jones

237. “Because no being can live in a perfect world. Life is destined to fight to survive. To thrive. To prosper. To have more than the have-nots. All life destroys in order to live.”

— Darynda Jones

238. “Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity’s, my dad’s bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.”

— Darynda Jones

239. “Death via extreme pleasure was a serious concern.”

— Darynda Jones

240. “Anything. Unless it involves math. Four out of three people are bad at math.”

— Darynda Jones

241. “It’s 90% imagination and 10% real experiences.”

— Darynda Jones

242. “Depression really did make a person want to sleep all the time. Who knew?”

— Darynda Jones

243. “I could try to dematerialize and find my way back, but knowing my luck, I’d end up in a terrorist training camp. Or a men’s prison. Or a feminine hygiene commercial.”

— Darynda Jones

244. “We all have a certain knowledge about how the universe works. And when someone comes along and challenges that knowledge, we don’t know how to deal with it. We aren’t hardwired that way. It’s difficult to question everything you’ve ever thought to be true.”

— Darynda Jones

245. “I cannot tell you how important fresh, crisp writing is for an aspiring writer. Plot is great. The overall concept is super important. But the writing is what sells your work. It all boils down to the words you choose and the order in which you arrange them.”

— Darynda Jones

246. “But we’d never really seen eye to eye. Mostly ’cause he was much taller than I was.”

— Darynda Jones

247. “Charley Davidson, Private Investigator, Because No One Is Better At Investigating Your Privates.”

— Darynda Jones

248. “Happiness isn’t good enough. I demand euphoria!”

— Darynda Jones

249. “You’re the reason I get up in the morning. That, and I need to pee. – E-CARD.”

— Darynda Jones

250. “But give up my business? The same business I’d built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I’d sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should’ve gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”

— Darynda Jones