Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “The fact that there’s a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. –.”

— Darynda Jones

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes

2. “Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!”

— Darynda Jones

3. “Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.”

— Darynda Jones

4. “Don’t judge me because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

— Darynda Jones

5. “I chose the road less traveled. Now I’m lost.”

— Darynda Jones

6. “She’s like a hurricane on crystal meth.”

— Darynda Jones

7. “I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.”

— Darynda Jones

8. “I stop fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now. T-shirt.”

— Darynda Jones

9. “I came into this world covered in someone else’s blood and screaming. I’m not afraid to leave it the same way.”

— Darynda Jones

10. “Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. – T-shirt.”

— Darynda Jones

11. “My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.”

— Darynda Jones

12. “If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.”

— Darynda Jones

13. “Do not disturb. Already there.”

— Darynda Jones

14. “Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.”

— Darynda Jones

15. “If your path demands that you walk through hell, walk as though you own the place.”

— Darynda Jones

16. “Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.”

— Darynda Jones

17. “I may not look like much, but I’m an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

— Darynda Jones

18. “Safety first! Just kidding. Coffee first. Safety’s, like, third or fourth. – MEME.”

— Darynda Jones

19. “There are very few personal problems that can’t be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.”

— Darynda Jones

20. “Life isn't about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate.”

— Darynda Jones

Featured in: National Chocolate Day Quotes

21. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. -T-Shirt.”

— Darynda Jones

22. “There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”

— Darynda Jones

23. “I don’t need Google. My wife knows everything.”

— Darynda Jones

24. “When people are dead, they don’t know they’re dead. It’s the same thing when people are stupid.”

— Darynda Jones

25. “She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. – E. CORONA Two.”

— Darynda Jones

26. “I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.”

— Darynda Jones

27. “I know karate, and like two other Japanese words – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

28. “When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.”

— Darynda Jones

29. “I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

30. “Thank God I don’t have to hunt for my food. I don’t even know where tacos live.”

— Darynda Jones

31. “You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.”

— Darynda Jones

32. “Friends don’t let friends get killed by serial killers.”

— Darynda Jones

33. “That’s the thing about things. They tend to happen.”

— Darynda Jones

34. “Karma’s just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She’ll be with you shortly.”

— Darynda Jones

35. “My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: “Well, that didn’t go as planned.”

— Darynda Jones

36. “Hearts are wild creatures. That’s why our ribs are cages. – AUTHOR UNKNOWN.”

— Darynda Jones

37. “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

— Darynda Jones

38. “If he eats French fries with a fork, he’s probably not going to do that thing you like with his tongue. -True fact.”

— Darynda Jones

39. “What’s your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.”

— Darynda Jones

40. “When I want your opinion, I’ll remove the duct tape. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

41. “Jesus may love you, but i’m his favourite.”

— Darynda Jones

42. “I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly.”

— Darynda Jones

43. “There comes a moment when you know you just aren’t going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt.”

— Darynda Jones

44. “If I couldn’t be a good example, I’d just have to be a horrible warning.”

— Darynda Jones

45. “Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same, and that’s why life is hard.”

— Darynda Jones

46. “Sometimes I write “drink coffee” on my to-do list just to feel like I’ve accomplished something. – STATUS UPDATE.”

— Darynda Jones

47. “Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean’s existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.”

— Darynda Jones

48. “I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.”

— Darynda Jones

49. “Coffee was that place where the sun comes up over the horizon and lights the heavens in a burst of vibrant colors.”

— Darynda Jones

50. “Guys, gray in the beard is sexy. Leave it alone. Thank you,-Grown Ass Women.”

— Darynda Jones