Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2024 Update)
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351. “Paperbacks make the world go round. Okay, maybe only my world. Either way paperbacks rock!”

— Darynda Jones

352. “Misery loves company, which explains my sudden popularity. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

353. “I stood, crossed over to my office and poured him a cup, then asked if he liked his coffee like I liked my Death Stars: gigantic, on the Dark Side, and powerful enough to destroy a planet. He laughed softly. “A little cream is fine.” “One coffee high coming up,” I.”

— Darynda Jones

354. “There is a difference between fresh and weird. You never want to throw your reader out of the story. Keep it fresh but natural.”

— Darynda Jones

355. “I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.”

— Darynda Jones

356. “Charley Davidson, Private Investigator, Because No One Is Better At Investigating Your Privates.”

— Darynda Jones

357. “She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon.”

— Darynda Jones

358. “I was my own girl, and no one was walking on this carpet but me.”

— Darynda Jones

359. “Does workman’s comp cover paper cuts?” “Do chickens lay snowballs?”

— Darynda Jones

360. “He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him.”

— Darynda Jones

361. “I caused more trouble than gonorrhea.”

— Darynda Jones

362. “The dreams continue for over a month. Each reveals a new facet of her personality. One night, she is wild and unpredictable. The next, she is shy or giggly or coy. She laughs and growls and bites and sucks.”

— Darynda Jones

363. “And as your writing evolves, what you need and get from it evolves.”

— Darynda Jones

364. “A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity?” BUMPER STICKER.”

— Darynda Jones

365. “Holy water may fend off demons, but spiders were completely unfazed by it.”

— Darynda Jones

366. “When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”

— Darynda Jones

367. “I breathed in the heat that spiraled around him. He gave me every ounce of attention he had to offer, focused like a leopard focusing on his prey, just long enough to cause a warmth to crack open and spill into my chest. Over my stomach. Between my legs.”

— Darynda Jones

368. “We were venturing into Denialville again, which was not nearly as fun as Margaritaville.”

— Darynda Jones

369. “Guys made this stuff look so easy. The only things I liked to scale on a semi-regular basis were those same guys who made this stuff look easy.”

— Darynda Jones

370. “I am a huge believer in revelations and fun twists.”

— Darynda Jones

371. “No offense, but what on earth could I ask of you that would be a great hardship?” His gaze rested on my mouth before making its way to my eyes again. “You could ask for the world, and then where would civilization be when I conquered it and laid it at your feet?”

— Darynda Jones

372. “I once made a pot of coffee so strong, it opened a jar for me. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

373. “I’d considered therapy, but the never-ending search for mental stability would cut into my couch potato time. That couch was not going to sprout roots itself.”

— Darynda Jones

374. “At first, I found their enthusiasm a bit intimidating. But once I got to know them – and realized they weren’t swingers – I was grateful for it.”

— Darynda Jones

375. “You know how you heal really fast?” I stood and walked to the doorway that separated our offices. “Yes,” I answered, wondering where she was going with this. She was sucking the side of her index finger. “Maybe if you lick my cut, your spit will heal me fast, too.” “Dude,” I said, tamping down a giggle, “I’m not licking your cut.” “Just lick me.” She held out her finger. “This is going to be tender for days.” “I’m not licking you.” A line I rarely said aloud.”

— Darynda Jones

376. “No, I need your daughter.” Every.”

— Darynda Jones

377. “Agent Carson pulled up in her SUV. We’d thrown her when we both climbed into her official vehicle, but I quickly explained that Reyes, my affianced, had separation anxiety.”

— Darynda Jones

378. “I don’t want you to forget this moment. In about a week, I’ll come up with a scathing retort. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

379. “I’m not pubescent, darlin’. I’m pretty sure I can last more than fifteen minutes.”

— Darynda Jones

380. “His hold was tight but tender, his breaths hoarse and ragged. I held his head to my chest for a long time, and I didn’t want to let go. I never wanted to let go.”

— Darynda Jones

381. “Her face, a face that had been rosy not thirty seconds earlier, paled at my suggestion. She backed away as though I’d just told her I was going to murder her and keep her heart in a jar on my desk. I would never do such a thing. I’d keep it in a jar in the cupboard. I wasn’t morbid.”

— Darynda Jones

382. “Nothing about her environment would be safe. I caused more trouble than gonorrhea.”

— Darynda Jones

383. “I’m not sure I can physically handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.”

— Darynda Jones

384. “It’s the simple things in life, and all that crap.”

— Darynda Jones

385. “We watch movies while Uncle Reyes makes cockporn.”

— Darynda Jones

386. “If he were ever to break up with me, I would so be that stalker ex-girlfriend who stole his underwear and hid in the hedges outside his bedroom window.”

— Darynda Jones

387. “Not just power,” Garrett said, growing excited. “Unimaginable power. According to his prophecies, you will recruit a warrior, a scholar, a prophet, gatekeeper, a warden, and a couple of other figures Dr. von Holstein is still working on.”

— Darynda Jones

388. “Humor is so subjective, not everyone is going to get what you are peddling. Others will be offended when what you meant no offense whatsoever. Those are the stakes. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and what you’ve written. Comedy pushes limits, makes people uncomfortable, and is a natural reaction to the environment. Otherwise, as I said, it is forced. Let it flow and give your characters permission to cross a line or two, but only if you can take the heat afterward.”

— Darynda Jones

389. “We watch movies while Uncle Reyes makes cockporn.” Everyone in the immediate area stilled while Reyes and I pressed our mouths together, trying not to crack up. This was a serious situation, and cracking up now would just be wrong. “Popcorn, honey,” Amador said. Then he looked at Bianca. “Hon, she really needs to learn how to say that word.”

— Darynda Jones

390. “I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.”

— Darynda Jones

391. “And he was damned nice to look at, even when he scowled. In fact, if I were totally honest, that scowl only added to the allure that was Reyes Farrow. Damn it. When I scowled, I looked constipated. Leave it to the son of Satan to turn a scowl into the stuff of fantasies.”

— Darynda Jones

392. “It was one thing to die. It was another to lose one’s soul. To come to a complete end. To exist no longer.”

— Darynda Jones

393. “Holy crap and damn. Now they both hated me. At least Cookie still liked me. “I hate you,” Cookie said as she checked her phone. “Just so you know.”

— Darynda Jones

394. “I thought about throwing my grocery bags at him and making a run for it, but those avocados were expensive. Damn my love of guacamole.”

— Darynda Jones

395. “He let go of one gun and put his hand on my face as though it were a precious jewel. “Pumpkin.” Or an autumn fruit.”

— Darynda Jones

396. “Better to see dead than be dead.”

— Darynda Jones

397. “How he could have such a reaction with me looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy astonished me. He was kinky. I’d take it.”

— Darynda Jones

398. “Clearly you do not understand the innate intricacies and often illogical drives of an A freak.”

— Darynda Jones

399. “I really just wanted to make sure my psychotic, sleep-deprived husband wasn’t wrestling hellhounds. That would have been a great metaphor if it weren’t real. I’d have to remember it. Use it metaphorically later.”

— Darynda Jones

400. “You only need to find yourself. Everything else can be Googled. – Meme.”

— Darynda Jones