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Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2024 Update)
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Darynda Jones Quote: “When people are dead, they don’t know they’re dead. It’s the same thing when people are stupid.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “They were back. The demons in all their glory. And they had a plan. I made plans sometimes, too, but they rarely involved world domination. Hot dogs on a grill, maybe. Tequila.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Gemma walked up behind her and did the crazy sign, which since she was a psychiatrist seemed very unprofessional.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don’t want much else from them either.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Sometimes I wrestle my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle. – BUMPER STICKER.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!”
Darynda Jones Quote: “My real mom died when I was born – hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories – and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Help someone when they’re in trouble, and they’ll remember you when they’re in trouble again. – FORTUNE COOKIE.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it’s time, and gets to know everyone personally – T-Shirt.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble – bumper sticker.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. – STEVEN WRIGHT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I never said I’d die without coffee. I said other people would.” – Meme.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I’m a virgin. But this is an old shirt. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Last time I had a bun in the oven, I had to give up whiskey. Worst twelve minutes of my life. Thank goodness those brown-and-serve rolls bake fast.” – Father Glenn.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I’m married to a billionaire like in all those books I read where the superrich guy falls in love with the poor chick who may not have much in the way of money but is wealthy in vivacity and sprightliness and is really into bondage?”
Darynda Jones Quote: “True heroes are never heroes for the recognition. They do what they are supposed to do, play the hand they’ve been dealt. And true heroes don’t seek out heroism. It’s thrust upon them.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “You could ask for the world, and then where would civilization be when I conquered it and laid it at your feet.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “A fruitless endeavor, as my knowledge was definitely the fruity type.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I don’t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I love children, but I don’t think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Life ain’t all burritos and strippers, my friend. – TRUE FACT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn’t want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I needed coffee. And a shower. Or a coffee shower.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “The past is a blur, like fog only blurrier.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Garrett must have sensed I was awake. “Hey Detective,” he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward us. “I think we’re losing her. I have no choice but to perform mouth-to-mouth.” “Don’t you dare,” I said, my lids still in lockdown.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Okay, I’ll strip. I’ll tap dance. I’ll sing ‘La Cucaracha’ in C minor.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Sorry I killed you. Repeatedly.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn’t hurt him. He’d been living with his stalker, for heaven’s sake.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “It’s a beautiful day. I think I’ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit. – BUMPER STICKER.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Thor’s Morning Wood.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I’ve never been the same.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my needs. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “My prodding me didn’t elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He’d seemed so sane huddled in Cookie’s trunk.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “The fastest way to a man’s heart is by tearing a hole through his rib cage. – T-SHIRT.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “Deaf people talk with their mouths full.”
Darynda Jones Quote: “You have to understand, it goes against every fiber of my being. But I have to let you navigate the terrain on your own.”
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