Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 7 of 10

301. “Roda?” asked, combining his name with Yoda’s.”

— Darynda Jones

302. “Are you free?” he asked. “No, but I’m on sale for a dollar ninety-nine.” He sighed, adding fuel to the fire. “Do you have a minute?” I patted my pockets. “Not on me, but I can go through the couch cushions.”

— Darynda Jones

303. “You need to listen to what Mom has to say.” “No, I don’t.” “She deserves that much, Charley.”

— Darynda Jones

304. “Some days you’re the cat. Some days you’re the brand-new, suede leather Barcalounger. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

305. “Reyes,” she said, stars in her eyes. “He likes my cinnamon rolls.” “I can’t believe this. You’re cheating on me with Reyes? You’ve been making him your famous cinnamon rolls while I’ve been stuck in a hell dimension, longing for the ability to chew my toenails just for something to do?” Amber whisked by us. “And enchiladas. He loves her enchiladas.” “Cook!” The sting of a thousand traitorous daggers pierced my heart. “I’m telling Uncle Bob.”

— Darynda Jones

306. “Valencia’s men scrambled to help their boss, but Reyes had been chomping at the bit long enough. He let loose. Got into a couple of fistfights for the fun of it before snapping necks one by one. They didn’t know what hit them. Then again, their deaths were merciful compared to what they did to their victims. Their eternal damnations following death, however, would be another story. I.”

— Darynda Jones

307. “10 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

308. “Look,” he said, clearly having made up his mind, “I’ve made up my mind.” Nailed it.”

— Darynda Jones

309. “Someone had to laugh, and I was pretty much the only one who got me. It was a lonely life.”

— Darynda Jones

310. “There’s no i in team, mister!”

— Darynda Jones

311. “Justice may be blind, but she was an awesome elixir.”

— Darynda Jones

312. “People were never, ever, ever 100 percent honest about their feelings. Never.”

— Darynda Jones

313. “Honey, don’t worry about people who talk behind your back. They’re behind you for a reason.”

— Darynda Jones

314. “She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon.” I hid a burst of laughter behind a cough, then asked, “Do you know what a strap-on is?” She gave me a look of incredulity. “Of course. I know what a bra is. You strap it on.” “Right.” I patted her shoulder. “Well, some people name their bras. Personally, I find the practice bizarre.” She giggled. “You name everything.” “Not my bras. Who does that?” I.”

— Darynda Jones

315. “The departed exist on one plane, and the human race exists on another, and somehow – whether by freak accident, divine intervention, or psychological disorder – I exist on both. A.”

— Darynda Jones

316. “According to this, it’s not the Twelve that is going to be the undoing of the Daughter of Light, but the Thirteenth Warrior.” “Antonio Banderas is going to be my undoing? I’m rife with anticipation.”

— Darynda Jones

317. “As it stood, I was having to do way more legwork than I’d planned when I decided on these boots.”

— Darynda Jones

318. “We were venturing onto uncomfortable ground. Compliments weren’t part of our MO. Passive-aggressive insults were. Mild threats. A little nagging here and there.”

— Darynda Jones

319. “I still had my hand on his side, careful not to press. He reached out and hooked a finger into the belt loop on my jeans. It felt so natural, so fulfilling, to be there with him. To talk with him as if we did it everyday. As if we’d been doung it every day for years. Not even the heat of Ian’s fury could penetrate the warmth I was getting from Reyes.”

— Darynda Jones

320. “Just because I see dead people doesn’t mean I want to be dead people.”

— Darynda Jones

321. “If life hands you lemons, keep them. Because, hey, free lemons. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

322. “I had to promise to look him up if I was ever in the City of Angels.” She winked to Uncle Bob. “He liked my voice.” “Mom,” Amber said, utterly appalled. “You used your feminine wiles on a man you don’t even know.” Cookie smiled. “That’s what they’re for, honey. Eat your salad.”

— Darynda Jones

323. “Just as I put my plate on my desk, I noticed a priest waiting in Cookie’s office. He was wearing a jacket and jeans, but the collar gave it away every time. We’d apparently forgotten to lock the door, but in all my years as a PI, a priest was new. I felt like I should do the sign of the cross as I walked forward, but I could never remember if it was up-down-left-right or up-down-right-left. I was so bad with directions.”

— Darynda Jones

324. “You look like heaven,” he said. “That’s weird, because you look like hell.”

— Darynda Jones

325. “Osh, we are going to have to tie you up and torture you. Sorry.” “Really?” He stood and removed his top hat, a broad grin splitting his perfect face. With the enthusiasm of a virgin at a brothel, he slapped his hands together and rubbed them in anticipation. “Where do you want me?” Osh sat down and Garrett began the bondage process. Was it wrong that I had a hankering for gay porn at that moment?”

— Darynda Jones

326. “Are you free?” he asked. “No, but I’m on sale for a dollar ninety-nine.”

— Darynda Jones

327. “Thank the gods Ubie’d had her detailed, because blood simmering under the New Mexico sun was never a good scent choice for cars. I preferred pine. Or.”

— Darynda Jones

328. “WHILE writing, just try to have fun with your ms. Enjoy the process, but push on. Always push toward the finish line!”

— Darynda Jones

329. “You didn’t bring any C-4, did you?” “Javier, you have to let that go. Let bygones be bygones.” He pulled his sidearm and clicked off the safety. “I’ll show you bygones.” “Now, now,” Garrett said, wrestling the gun from him. “Charley brings out the worst in all of us. It’s not her fault.” “He’s right,” I said. “I have a condition.”

— Darynda Jones

330. “I spotted Mr. Reyes Farrow standing next to his stunning ’70 Plymouth ‘Cuda. Classic. Dark. And all muscle. The car was hot, too.”

— Darynda Jones

331. “Why do you suppose I’m here?” I asked him. Angel. A thirteen-year-old departed gangbanger. “Just ’cause you’re supposed to be, I guess.”

— Darynda Jones

332. “That was one thing about the Deaf community I always admired beyond belief – they were the most accepting lot I’d ever come across. It didn’t matter what else you had to deal with, blindness, mental challenges, fetal alcohol syndrome, autism, whatever else you were dealing with, if you were culturally Deaf, they accepted you as one of their own. Even, apparently, if you had supernatural sight.”

— Darynda Jones

333. “I’m like crack. People don’t want to like me, but once they get a taste, they always come back for more.”

— Darynda Jones

334. “I looked up into the glittering depths of his mahagony irises. A soft line had formed between his brows as he studied me, and I realized for the thousandth time I could not read him. Not like I could most people. I felt emotion roiling within him, but i was jumbled, chaotic, a mixture of desire and concern and regret.”

— Darynda Jones

335. “I could fight a dozen hounds from hell, I could bring down the son of Satan with a word, but put me in the ring with a psychotic chick, and I go down in the first.”

— Darynda Jones

336. “Freaking Kodak moments sucked when you didn’t actually have a Kodak.”

— Darynda Jones

337. “No dead people beyond this door,′ ” he read aloud from beyond the door. ” ‘And, yes, if you suddenly have the ability to walk through walls, you’re dead. You’re not lying somewhere in a drainage ditch waiting to wake up. Get over it, and stay the hell out of my bathroom.”

— Darynda Jones

338. “There must be a special, less volcanic portion of hell that was partitioned off and set aside for people who weren’t all bad, just a little vindictive. They could call it the drama queen ward. It would be a huge hit.”

— Darynda Jones

339. “When I’m not scouring through the backstreets of every city in the state, I keep an eye on the girl. My girl.”

— Darynda Jones

340. “The woman eyed Ubie a moment before grabbing a pen and writing down the dates I had. Ubie eyed her back. Sparks flew.”

— Darynda Jones

341. “Apparently, in high school, Cookie had been voted Person Most Likely to Die Any Second Now.”

— Darynda Jones

342. “Do you pay me? I feel more like a slave.” “Please, you’re way cheaper than a slave. You provide your own shelter, pay your own bills.” Ever.”

— Darynda Jones

343. “I think I was born making up stories in my head. I wrote my first play when I was 5. No, I couldn’t write yet. It was with a stick on a piece of paper that floated by on the wind, and it was about a girl named Cindy. The fact that it closely resembled Cinderella is pure coincidence.”

— Darynda Jones

344. “Aw. She thought I was fruity. I got that a lot.”

— Darynda Jones

345. “His presence made the air crackle with electricity, mostly because of all the spontaneous ovulating going on when he walked in.”

— Darynda Jones

346. “Paperbacks make the world go round. Okay, maybe only my world. Either way paperbacks rock!”

— Darynda Jones

347. “Misery loves company, which explains my sudden popularity. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

348. “I stood, crossed over to my office and poured him a cup, then asked if he liked his coffee like I liked my Death Stars: gigantic, on the Dark Side, and powerful enough to destroy a planet. He laughed softly. “A little cream is fine.” “One coffee high coming up,” I.”

— Darynda Jones

349. “There is a difference between fresh and weird. You never want to throw your reader out of the story. Keep it fresh but natural.”

— Darynda Jones

350. “I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.”

— Darynda Jones