Top 450 Darynda Jones Quotes (2025 Update)
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301. “WHILE writing, just try to have fun with your ms. Enjoy the process, but push on. Always push toward the finish line!”

— Darynda Jones

302. “I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.”

— Darynda Jones

303. “Hey, I could be your assistant! I’d be an Assistant Serial Killer Serial Killer. I’d be an Ass. Or do I need the Ks in there? Because that wouldn’t sound nearly as cool.”

— Darynda Jones

304. “You didn’t bring any C-4, did you?” “Javier, you have to let that go. Let bygones be bygones.” He pulled his sidearm and clicked off the safety. “I’ll show you bygones.” “Now, now,” Garrett said, wrestling the gun from him. “Charley brings out the worst in all of us. It’s not her fault.” “He’s right,” I said. “I have a condition.”

— Darynda Jones

305. “I spotted Mr. Reyes Farrow standing next to his stunning ’70 Plymouth ‘Cuda. Classic. Dark. And all muscle. The car was hot, too.”

— Darynda Jones

306. “When the men started to argue about the logistics of my devouring my own husband, which screamed cannibal in my humble opinion, my temper soared.”

— Darynda Jones

307. “Let me express how much I don’t care on a scale from one to bite me.”

— Darynda Jones

308. “After searching for a space, I parked behind the tattoo parlor in front of a sign that said NO PARKING. Since it didn’t specify to whom it was referring, I figured it couldn’t possibly be talking to me.”

— Darynda Jones

309. “Cool. I could live vicariously through a Catholic priest. A thought that rarely occurred to me, for obvious reasons. I.”

— Darynda Jones

310. “No offense, but what on earth could I ask of you that would be a great hardship?” His gaze rested on my mouth before making its way to my eyes again. “You could ask for the world, and then where would civilization be when I conquered it and laid it at your feet?”

— Darynda Jones

311. “I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.”

— Darynda Jones

312. “Of all the strange events in my life, that was by far the weirdest I’d had in hours.”

— Darynda Jones

313. “If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.”

— Darynda Jones

314. “He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.”

— Darynda Jones

315. “Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte.”

— Darynda Jones

316. “Roda?” asked, combining his name with Yoda’s.”

— Darynda Jones

317. “We don’t read to observe the character from a distance. We read to become the character and experience the conflicts and rewards they are experiencing.”

— Darynda Jones

318. “And just how, exactly, do you feed off the souls of humans? Is it like a vitamin-deficiency thing?”

— Darynda Jones

319. “Valencia’s men scrambled to help their boss, but Reyes had been chomping at the bit long enough. He let loose. Got into a couple of fistfights for the fun of it before snapping necks one by one. They didn’t know what hit them. Then again, their deaths were merciful compared to what they did to their victims. Their eternal damnations following death, however, would be another story. I.”

— Darynda Jones

320. “10 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

321. “She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon.”

— Darynda Jones

322. “Look,” he said, clearly having made up his mind, “I’ve made up my mind.” Nailed it.”

— Darynda Jones

323. “Someone had to laugh, and I was pretty much the only one who got me. It was a lonely life.”

— Darynda Jones

324. “I was my own girl, and no one was walking on this carpet but me.”

— Darynda Jones

325. “There’s no i in team, mister!”

— Darynda Jones

326. “He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him.”

— Darynda Jones

327. “People were never, ever, ever 100 percent honest about their feelings. Never.”

— Darynda Jones

328. “She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon.” I hid a burst of laughter behind a cough, then asked, “Do you know what a strap-on is?” She gave me a look of incredulity. “Of course. I know what a bra is. You strap it on.” “Right.” I patted her shoulder. “Well, some people name their bras. Personally, I find the practice bizarre.” She giggled. “You name everything.” “Not my bras. Who does that?” I.”

— Darynda Jones

329. “The departed exist on one plane, and the human race exists on another, and somehow – whether by freak accident, divine intervention, or psychological disorder – I exist on both. A.”

— Darynda Jones

330. “According to this, it’s not the Twelve that is going to be the undoing of the Daughter of Light, but the Thirteenth Warrior.” “Antonio Banderas is going to be my undoing? I’m rife with anticipation.”

— Darynda Jones

331. “We were venturing onto uncomfortable ground. Compliments weren’t part of our MO. Passive-aggressive insults were. Mild threats. A little nagging here and there.”

— Darynda Jones

332. “I still had my hand on his side, careful not to press. He reached out and hooked a finger into the belt loop on my jeans. It felt so natural, so fulfilling, to be there with him. To talk with him as if we did it everyday. As if we’d been doung it every day for years. Not even the heat of Ian’s fury could penetrate the warmth I was getting from Reyes.”

— Darynda Jones

333. “If life hands you lemons, keep them. Because, hey, free lemons. – T-SHIRT.”

— Darynda Jones

334. “I had to promise to look him up if I was ever in the City of Angels.” She winked to Uncle Bob. “He liked my voice.” “Mom,” Amber said, utterly appalled. “You used your feminine wiles on a man you don’t even know.” Cookie smiled. “That’s what they’re for, honey. Eat your salad.”

— Darynda Jones

335. “Just as I put my plate on my desk, I noticed a priest waiting in Cookie’s office. He was wearing a jacket and jeans, but the collar gave it away every time. We’d apparently forgotten to lock the door, but in all my years as a PI, a priest was new. I felt like I should do the sign of the cross as I walked forward, but I could never remember if it was up-down-left-right or up-down-right-left. I was so bad with directions.”

— Darynda Jones

336. “Are you free?” he asked. “No, but I’m on sale for a dollar ninety-nine.”

— Darynda Jones

337. “Holy water may fend off demons, but spiders were completely unfazed by it.”

— Darynda Jones

338. “When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”

— Darynda Jones

339. “Thank the gods Ubie’d had her detailed, because blood simmering under the New Mexico sun was never a good scent choice for cars. I preferred pine. Or.”

— Darynda Jones

340. “Why do you suppose I’m here?” I asked him. Angel. A thirteen-year-old departed gangbanger. “Just ’cause you’re supposed to be, I guess.”

— Darynda Jones

341. “I looked up into the glittering depths of his mahagony irises. A soft line had formed between his brows as he studied me, and I realized for the thousandth time I could not read him. Not like I could most people. I felt emotion roiling within him, but i was jumbled, chaotic, a mixture of desire and concern and regret.”

— Darynda Jones

342. “I could fight a dozen hounds from hell, I could bring down the son of Satan with a word, but put me in the ring with a psychotic chick, and I go down in the first.”

— Darynda Jones

343. “Freaking Kodak moments sucked when you didn’t actually have a Kodak.”

— Darynda Jones

344. “No dead people beyond this door,′ ” he read aloud from beyond the door. ” ‘And, yes, if you suddenly have the ability to walk through walls, you’re dead. You’re not lying somewhere in a drainage ditch waiting to wake up. Get over it, and stay the hell out of my bathroom.”

— Darynda Jones

345. “There must be a special, less volcanic portion of hell that was partitioned off and set aside for people who weren’t all bad, just a little vindictive. They could call it the drama queen ward. It would be a huge hit.”

— Darynda Jones

346. “Anther spasm ripped through me and all I could wonder was why in the world had women been doing this for thousands of years? This was barbaric. This was torture. Never again. Never again as long as I lived would I have another baby, so Beep had better be pretty awesome.”

— Darynda Jones

347. “When I’m not scouring through the backstreets of every city in the state, I keep an eye on the girl. My girl.”

— Darynda Jones

348. “The woman eyed Ubie a moment before grabbing a pen and writing down the dates I had. Ubie eyed her back. Sparks flew.”

— Darynda Jones

349. “Apparently, in high school, Cookie had been voted Person Most Likely to Die Any Second Now.”

— Darynda Jones

350. “Do you pay me? I feel more like a slave.” “Please, you’re way cheaper than a slave. You provide your own shelter, pay your own bills.” Ever.”

— Darynda Jones